Page 72 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
Those words looped in my mind, swirling through my ears and seeping into my heart. I gripped Devin’s hand tighter, rubbing my thumb over the black metal ring on his pointer finger. He responded by lifting my hand in his and pulling it up to his lips, placing a slow, gentle kiss just below my knuckles.
God, no guy had ever made me feel like this before.
We turned into my neighborhood, and the desire to invite him inside and fall into bed with him was stronger than ever.
“It’s funny,” I said as we pulled into my driveway. “A few weeks ago, when you took me to the hospital, I thought the same thing about you.”
Devin smiled. His multicolored eyes glistened with warmth and adoration as he turned to me.
I threw myself across the center console of the car, wrapping my arms around his back and pulling him in for a kiss. I didn’t care who saw us out the windows. At thatmoment, as he dug his fingers through my curly hair and slid his thumb along the skirt of my dress, nothing else mattered.
It was amazing how strong the fireworks were with him. The way a single kiss, let alone our current frenzy, made me lose control. The way he made the rest of the world slip away. Even my fears about my sexual inadequacies dimmed as my raging attraction to him threatened to consume me whole.
I wanted to bring him inside.
I wanted him.
But I wasn’t ready yet.
I pulled away, gazing into his vibrant eyes as our chests rose and fell with heavy, panting breaths. At this point, I was nearly in his lap, my Converse sneakers pressed against the center console.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked.
My heart fell at those words. But I had to be honest with him.
“I…” The words struggled to escape my mouth. “I’m not ready for this yet.”
Devin’s concern was quickly replaced with laughter. “Avie, it’s okay. We can take this completely at your pace. You’re in control. When you’re ready to take things further, you let me know. Besides, you haven’t even had your surgery yet.”
I nodded, relief flooding my veins like cool saline. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“Do we have to stop though? This is nice.”
My eyes darted out the driver’s side window. “Someone is gonna see us.”
Devin’s eyes narrowed, and a devious grin crept across his face. “You say that like it’s a problem.”
“Devin!” I admonished. “Youlittle—!”
He grabbed my face and kissed me, silencing my lips before I could say another word.
“Alright, alright.” He broke away. “I’ll let you go.”
I plopped one more kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight, Dev.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
My empty bedroom felt darker and lonelier than usual. I knew the routine by now: I’d curl up into bed, surrounded by silence, and ache for his presence until I eventually fell asleep. The more time we spent together, the stronger those desires became.
Just get through your surgery,I reassured myself. I knew the procedure wasn’t an instant cure, and I’d likely need more medical help before I could have sex. But once my troublesome endometrial tissue was removed and my body had healed, at least I could start trying. It was the first step in breaking the wall down, brick by painful brick.
I wanted to have sex with him. More than I ever had with anyone.
And I knew it was because of my feelings for him. How much I cared for him.
More than I’d ever cared for a partner before.
When Cassidy and I returned home from TCG Night the following evening, she couldn’t hide it. A huge grin stretched across her face as she drove us home, her eyes sparkling with the telltale sign of being lost in a sea of dreamy thoughts.
