Page 74 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
“We can get food to-go if you want,” he offered. “Go to a park. Somewhere less hectic.”
I sighed with relief. That was exactly what I needed.
“Yes. That sounds great.”
We were near Baldwin Park, a ritzy neighborhood that had a walking path surrounding a large lake. The sun was just beginning to set, filling the air with a hazy, humid warmth that sunk into my skin and made my lungs loosen. The sky glowed a vibrant orange as we took a seat on a bench under the shade of a massive live oak tree. Since it was late in the day, we were mostly alone, except for the occasional jogger passing on thesidewalk.
Devin reached into our to-go bag and handed me a Styrofoam container full of tacos. They were delicious, but my anxiety was making my stomach issues even worse than usual. I finished two of them before handing the rest of the container to Devin.
“You done?”
“I’m not that hungry.”
“Avie…” He set his half-eaten container of tacos on the bench next to him, wrapping an arm around my back. “Do you want to talk?”
“I just…” My voice trailed off as my throat tightened again. “I don’t know if there’s much to talk about. I’m just nervous about my surgery. Am I overreacting?”
Devin shook his head. “No, that’s normal.”
“Have you ever had surgery?”
“Just wisdom teeth,” he replied. “It wasn’t that bad. I was really sore, but I got to skip my high school classes for a few days and lay in bed playing video games.”
I chuckled. “That does sound nice. But what about the surgery part?”
“Well, I was afraid of being put under, but honestly it happens so fast that you don’t have much time to think about it. It’s not like dreaming, where you feel a passage of time. One second you’re awake, then bam—you’re opening your eyes and the surgery is over. It’s wild.”
“That is a bit reassuring,” I replied, nestling my head into the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Dev.”
“Of course.”
He wrapped both arms around me and kissed my forehead. We remained that way, locked in a soothing embrace under the setting sun, for several minutes. I closed my eyes, trying my best to focus not on my surgery, but on how good it felt to have him hold me. The rhythmic rising and falling of his chest, combined with his thumping heartbeat, wasa gentle remedy for my anxiety. I slowed my breaths until mine synced with his, and I became so relaxed that I nearly fell asleep.
“Here.” Devin shifted his hip, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I have something that might make you laugh.”
“What’s that?”
“You, uh, have to promise you’ll never tell anyone about this.”
I raised my eyebrow, now itching with curiosity. “Of course. Now what is it?”
Devin unlocked his phone, scrolling through years of photos at rapid speed. I caught brief glimpses at some of them: silly selfies with friends, his sisters, and what looked like family pets. Finally, once he was almost fifteen years back, I saw a flash of white, and it turned my stomach upside down. Those were wedding photos.
But they were gone in less than a second, and as Devin slowed his scrolling, he tapped on a video. One from eighteen years ago, likely passed down from cloud storage through multiple phones. I could tell it was old, because it was small and grainy, nothing like modern-day phone cameras.
But I knew exactly who the scrawny teenager lying wide-eyed in a dental chair was.
He was much smaller and thinner, with his arms bare of tattoos and his hair still chocolate brown. But I knew that face, even if it was almost two decades younger.
And in the video, that face was mumbling incoherently about attending church.
“Oh my god,” I giggled. “Is that you?”
“Yup.” Devin shook his head. “My parents took this after I woke up from my wisdom teeth surgery. I’m absolutely stoned. I’m rambling about my childhood youth group for fuck’s sake.”
As the video went on, and seventeen-year-old Devin bounced from topic to topic with little cohesion to his ramblings, I continued giggling with my head pressed against current Devin’s chest. He was right. This did make me feel better.
“The sad thing is, my dad stopped filming before the best part,” Devin said as the video ended.
