Page 51 of #Resort Love
“I killed him,” I said, barely breathing. “I-I killed him.”
I repeated those three words over and over again. Whether they were in my head or out loud, I couldn’t tell from Ezra’s grim silence. Ezra threw me onto Midnight’s back, climbing on behind me. He yelled out commands to a group of soldiers that stood close by, their pallid faces coming alive under the bark of his tone. Once they moved into action, Ezra forced Midnight into a frightening speed to return to the palace.
The ride was a blur. All I could think was that I had killed the man that was trying to protect the girl. My stomach roiled. Did I kill her too? Were there others? I couldn’t stop it; I couldn’t control it or dampen it. I killed him. I couldn’t evenremember what he looked like. I couldn’t remember his face or the color of his eyes. My body felt numb. My mind was blank.
At some point, we entered the courtyard of the palace, Ezra yelling out to someone before hauling me off Midnight. There was no strength left in my body. I couldn’t will myself to move or stand. I heard Ezra curse and say my name, but my body felt too leaden to respond. I couldn’t even force myself to look at him.
I felt him pick me up, racing me to my room, but all I could think, all I could see was the man, lying lifeless on the ground, his blood spreading around him. I heard a door slam open before being set down on a cushioned surface. Ezra snapped his fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of my trance.
“Sybil,” he breathed, his face deathly pale, “can you hear me?” I gave him a small nod, and he swallowed. “I need you to stay here. Don’t go anywhere, don’t answer the door. Just stay here until I return, okay?” He searched my face; his eyes were panicked.
Unable to say anything, I gave him another slight nod. His hands gripped my shoulders, giving them a small reassuring squeeze before he ran out of my room, letting the door slam shut behind him. I flinched at the sound and looked down at my hands. Blood coated them, blood from using too much of my magic. The magic that killed the villager. He was just trying to help that little girl.Iwas just trying to help her. But I failed. I failed, it was my fault, everything was my fault.
Tears started pouring down my face, hot and heavy. My body started to shake, and every emotion came flooding out, like a lock opening the floodgate holding back everything I had been trying to push down. I couldn’t control my magic. I couldn’t control it, and now someone was dead. My magic was too much for me to handle, and because of that he was dead. AllI wanted to do was help, to protect, but I wound up becoming a stain instead.
The gash on my arm burned; crimson still trickled down to my hand, but it wasn’t my blood that I saw. It was his. Becoming violently ill, I rushed to the bathroom, vomiting as soon as I reached the toilet. I retched until there was nothing left, until I heaved and nothing came out. Moving to the sink, I washed the blood away, scrubbing over and over, but the red stain wouldn’t disappear.
My skin was raw and started to burn when another pair of large, soft hands wrapped around mine. I gasped, my head jerking up. Ambrose stood behind me, and my eyes met his in the mirror. His face blanched, wariness etched across it.
“Sybil,” he whispered, his voice tight with alarm. “Sybil, what happened?”
My mouth gaped open, but no words came out. Instead, my eyes burned, more tears flowing down my face. Ambrose pulled me into a tight hug, the warmth of him seeping into my body. I stood there, locked in his embrace, listening to his soft murmurings, letting the minutes pass by while I wept.
Finally, Ambrose pulled me out of the bathroom, leading me back to the chaise. I tried to explain what happened then, with Arianna and the man with those children, but my words felt broken and out of order. Ambrose smoothed back the hair from my face, quietly listening. But before I could finish, my door swung open, the sudden motion making me jerk away from his touch. I stood on shaky legs, using the chaise to hold myself up.
Arianna stood in the doorway, gasping for air, her lips curling in disgust. “She killed him,” she choked out, pointing at me. “She killed a villager in Lowbrook. I tried to stop her, Ambrose, but she lost control of her magic and killed someone.”
My stomach dropped, terror rushing through me. My body tensed, making it hard to breathe. I swallowed, taking in Arianna’s bloodstained clothing. My body trembled as I narrowed in on her side, seeing her ripped uniform and a wound, her flesh still torn and bleeding because of me. I felt gutted, like someone had dug a knife inside me, twisting painfully.
My eyes shot to Ambrose, blinking through the tears burning my eyes, pleading, begging for… Help? Understanding? For him to tell me that I was right about myself, that I was a monster, a stain—a curse?
Ambrose’s eyes widened in alarm, or maybe even horror. “Tell me it isn’t true, Sybil. Please tell me that didn’t happen!”
“I’m sorry,” I cried, icy talons gripping my heart, squeezing until I couldn’t breathe. “I’m so sorry. I tried to stop it. I tried, but I was attacked, and it just happened.”
“She’s a danger to us all, Ambrose,” Arianna rasped. “First me, and now one of the villagers? The girl is going to kill us all if you don’t do something about this.”
“No, that’s not true,” I replied, my hand clenching against the painful ache in my chest. “I can get it under control, please, Ambrose. I can learn to control it. Samian is helping me control it. Plea?—”
“Like he has been helping you already?” Ambrose asked calmly, interrupting my pleading. “You promised your father and Liam that you wouldn’t hurt anyone else. What do you expect me to do with that?”
I winced at the reminder of my promise. A promise that I had failed to keep. Hot agony ripped through me, and my stomach twisted. I fell to my knees, a broken sob escaping my lips. Misery engulfed me so strongly that I felt like I was being pulled underwater. I tried to breathe. I tried to gulp down air, but it felt impossible. My lungs—my throat—theyfelt too tight. I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes, curling myself onto the floor. Weeping, I cried out when an intense desperation coursed through me, so swift and abrupt.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t dothisanymore. They were right—my father, Liam, Arianna—they were all right.
“I’ll do it,” I groaned, my mind screaming, wanting all of this—my magic, this world, my life—to disappear. I wanted to go back to the life I used to have. This magic was supposed to be a chance at something new. It was supposed to be a hope, a promise of a brighter future. But it was only a wretched curse. The man lying lifeless on the ground flashed through my mind, tormenting me deep to my very core. “Please,” I whispered. “Please, help me. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”
Ambrose knelt in front of me, pulling me up and lifting my hands away from my face. “Shh, my darling Sybil,” Ambrose murmured, giving me a soft kiss on my forehead. “Everything will be okay, I promise.”
He pulled out a dagger, and I blinked as he cut into his palm. Taking my hand, he made a similar cut, and I hissed at the sudden burning pain. Ambrose put our hands together, giving me a soft smile. “All you have to do is repeat after me, okay?” I nodded, my mind finding its first moment of relief. Tightening his hand around mine, Ambrose began his bargain. “I, Ambrose Farra, offer you, Sybil Hart, a bargain. I will hold sway over your magic, and in exchange, you will find yourself bound to my will. Do you accept?”
Giving me a slight nod, Ambrose smiled encouragingly. Swallowing, I straightened, my heart wavering. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. Samian’s pleading from yesterday echoed across my mind. I remembered the anger on his face when he saw Ambrose’s note, his exasperation at me for believing I needed this bargain.
Ambrose quietly called my name, bringing my focus back to the present, giving me another small smile, a whisper of comfort. I squeezed my eyes shut, the anguish rushing back, taking me under, and a tear softly fell down my cheek.
My voice trembled as I repeated the bargain. “I, Sybil Hart, agree to your bargain. You will hold sway over my magic, and in exchange, I will be bound to your will.”
I cried out, white-hot pain lacing up my arm, moving through my body. I tried to pull my hand back, but Ambrose held firm. My blood seemed to boil, and I choked out a moan. Someone called my name, but I couldn’t tell who over the roaring in my ears. As suddenly as it came, the pain was gone, leaving me gasping against the floor.
