Page 69 of Protected from Malice
It’s all I wanted. And it’sperfect.
CHAPTER 12
RAFE
“Okay,who agreed to having teams again?”
Indy scowls as he looks down at his game piece, empty save for one blue pie wedge in it. Then he glances over Eden and my piece, which only needs green to be complete. “And how come I didn’t get to be partners with Eden?” he continues. “Or Rafe. How did I end up with the only guy worse at this game than me?”
Beneath the table, Eden reaches over to squeeze my hand. Her lips curve up. “You and Rafe can be partners next time,” she offers. “And I’ll partner with Webb.”
We didn’t really give Indy a choice to start with. By the time he got back from the gym, the game was already set up and Eden had pre-selected our teams. “You can be with Webb,”she’d explained as if she hadn’t put any thought into it.“And I’ll partner with Rafe. Winner has to cook lunch for the other team.”
I know why she did it that way, and I wasn’t complaining. With us on the same team, she’s right next to me at the table, close enough to hold her hand or touch her leg without anyonenoticing. If it means I have to cook lunch for everyone? Fine with me.
Webb has a pretty good idea of what’s going on with Eden and I, but I don’t think Indy does. And I feel pretty guilty about that. I know I need to talk to him before he catches me and Eden doing something that can’t be passed off as friendly contact. A quick hug is one thing. But if he walks in on us kissing? There’s no way to explain that away.
It’s not that I think he’d disapprove, exactly.
Indy knows I care about Eden. That I dropped everything to come out here to protect her. He knows I would do anything to protect the people I care about. So if he follows that train of thought, he’d know I would do anything to keep Eden safe.
And he knows I have the skills to back it up. That I won’t hesitate to get my hands dirty if that’s what it takes.
On the other hand… Indy knows about the blood on my hands, too.
He knows what I’ve done in the interest of justice.
He might want something better for Eden. Someone better. A hero, like she deserves.
I know I’m not the best man for her. It’s been a constant reminder for years.
But it was a lot easier to settle for that when I didn’t have to see her all the time.
When I didn’t know how it felt to hold her.
When I didn’t know how it felt to kiss her.
And now?
I want Eden. Full stop. I want to prove that I can be good for her. That even though I’m not a hero, I can take care of her. I can make her smile. I can?—
Shit. Now that I know, I can’t go back to the way things used to be. I don’t want to.
But it would be selfish to let this thing between us get more serious without telling her who I really am. She needs to know what I’ve done. What I’ll do again if I have to. And I need to be prepared for her to reject me once she knows the truth.
If she does… there’s no point in telling Indy anything, is there?
The threat of rejection has me acting like a chickenshit coward instead of the fearless man I liked to think I was. Take off after a violent fugitive on my own, knowing a fuckup could cost me my life? No problem. Head into enemy territory with my team when the odds are stacked against us ten to one? Sign me up. But confess my sins to Eden? I keep coming up with reasons to put it off.
She had such a nice time bowling; why would I want to ruin it?
She’s having a good day, and we managed to sneak away to the gym for an hour under the auspices of working out, but actually spent most of the time kissing—I’m not risking ruining her mood now.
She looks so happy. It’s not the right time.
Chickenshit. Like I said.
I know I need to talk to her. Dammit, I know. Just… maybe not yet.
