Page 15 of Ruin Me Knot
"Choose another place to nest. Somewhere you’ll be comfortable." Ronan takes me by surprise.
He’s willing to compromise?
"Anywhere?" If they want to prove themselves then I’ll take them up on their offer. Call them at their own game…
"Anywhere in thisapartment, Sweetheart. No choosing the library. Or the gas station down the road. Or another state or country. Not yet anyway." My gaze flicks to Gabriel to see his full lips quirk as he sends me a wink.
I’m not sure how to take that, but they’re right. I can’t go anywhere in this state. Not only because my perfume is a siren’s call, but I’ll soon succumb to the effects of this heat no matter what I want thanks to the drugs pumping through my veins. I will be the mindless creature everyone looks down on. The slut who will beg for cocks and knots no matter who they’re attached to. And they’ll be happy to fuck me stupid in the name of helping me. No matter ifIreally want this or not.
The heat makes everything fuzzy, but as I lean against the wall for support, natural light cuts through the haze. I haven't seen real daylight in so long that it pulls at something deep inside me, momentarily overriding even my fear of the Alphas.
My eyes slide to the window and the world outside this room. At the sun, the sky, the trees, the busyness down there. Thelife. The normal life I haven’t hadsince the day my parents took me to Haven. I suddenly can’t stand not to see everything I’ve been denied.
Ronan’s gaze follows mine, to slice of outside I’m desperate for. He makes a quick, decisive gesture with his chin and barks, "Bring the nest out here. All of it."
Jax vanishes down the hallway without question and reappears, hauling the huge mattress in his arms. Gabriel is right behind him, arms overflowing with blankets and soft pillows, the lot trailing behind him like an absurd parade. They make it look easy, as if moving an entire nest from one end of the apartment to the other is an everyday thing. Just because I want it.
I don’t understand these Alphas.
"Where do you want us to put your nest? You pick, Omega. Wherever you want it, that’s where it goes," Ronan says.
I search their faces for the trap that has always followed "choice" in my life. But they don’t move. They don’t crowd me or rush. They just wait, patient as time. My body trembles, mind growing thick as an inferno lances under my skin. I won’t be able to withstand them much longer, not with the slick already coating my thighs, but making decisions is an invitation to punishment.
Then it hits me.Thisis the real trap.
Alphas listening to an Omega?
Alphas helping an Omega?
Alphas being concerned for an Omega?
Of course this is a test.
How could it not be? I almost forgot myself, almost let the heat, the illusion of freedom and the allure of scent-matching dull my edge. "Gods, I can’t believe I nearly fell for this." How many times should I be punished for not obeying the first and last golden rule?
I’m not allowed to have a nest. Ever. The repercussions always outweigh the needs.
I square my shoulders, hugging familiar bitterness tight. "You’ll have to try harder, although I guess now you’re still going to punish me for half falling foryour ruse. Jokes on you, though. You can’t do to me what every other Alpha hasn’t already tried. Do your best. Teach me the next lesson you think I should learn."
Chapter Eight
Ronan
Our Omega stands there fighting with every bit of herself, a cornered animal with her back arched and claws out, hissing to hide the way her body quakes. The bravado is a mask for the terror running through her veins. She’s convinced herself that kindness is a trap, softness a prelude to torment.
She knows no better than to expect the worst.
Our pack bond floods with rage, uncontrollable and bitter. We’ve seen survivors react like this before, crouching behind suspicion as their only shield. It drives home just how alone she thinks she is. She's had no one onher side. Just monsters digging their claws into her soft underbelly day after day, stripping her of power, poisoning trust.
No wonder she expects every gesture to end in cruelty.
She’s battered and exhausted, drugged heat wringing her dry, but she’s still fighting. Most would have given up. The world tried to break her, but here she is bloodied, bitter, but still standing.
We must be careful. If we push too hard or fast, if we do anything that reminds her of Hardwick or the hell she just escaped, she’ll lump us in with her abusers. Leah has known nothing but abuse from the people who should have taken the best care of her.
She’s only known cruel Alphas, and she can’t trust that we’re different. But she will learn, because we’ll earn her trust. Every day, every minute, until she knows in her bones we’d never hurt her. She thinks we’re testing her, but she’s the one testing us. Our girl will learn we are not her jailers, but her home.
I soothe my tone. Not only is she terrified, but whatever Hardwick did to her is still working through her system, stirring up every trauma and instinct.
