Page 20 of Ruin Me Knot
A strangled whimper escapes me, and the air shifts. Their tension bleeds through the wood. There’s a sixth sense, an extra awareness that’s unfolded between us from the moment I first scented them, and I can’t turn it off.
I want to hide.
There’s nowhere to go.
Ronan’s voice comes through the door, all gravel and instant heightened focus. "Tell us what you need, Kitten."
You. I need you.
But I can’t say those words. There’s no way that makes logical sense. I don’t know them. They’re a threat. An enemy. I just want to be left alone. I want this to all go away so I can justbreathe,but I can’t because I ache for the relief I know they can give me. I crave their essences. Their bodies. Their care. The way they call to the stolen parts of me and promise to put me together.
It doesn’t even make sense, yet it makes perfect sense.
I want to bury myself in them, let them numb the hurt and burn the panic. I want the weight of arms that will hold me together, even just for a heartbeat. I want the nest Gabriel and Jax built without questions or demands. The softness that says rest, care, kindness, comfort and not punishment. I want everything I’ve been told I shouldn’t want and can’t have.
I want their cocks and their knots and their purrs. I want them to fuck me to take away the blades shredding my abdomen.
I want to feel anything other thanwrecked.
I want to feel wanted. Cherished. Cared for.
I want to be fuckingloved.
I want all of that. I want every last drop of it and yet…
Yet…
I can’t let myself have it.
The want for all those things is a cavity in my chest, but my ugliness keeps it sharp and empty. I’m my own gatekeeper. My own jailor, caged in my own cell. No matter how much I yearn for any good thing, I must deny myself. My nails dig into the seams of the cushion. The space between what I need and what I can allow widens, filling with longing.
Longing and shame and utter despair.
I’m a ruined Omega. A mess. I see it with stunning clarity.
But it makes no difference because I can’t do anything about it.
"Leah?" Ronan’s voice booms through the door. A demand and question both but I can’t answer. Not without releasing the hot, jumbled flood jamming against the stranglehold I’m gripping shut with white knuckles and prayer.
A sob slips out anyway.
"No more. I can’t stand to hear you suffer. We’re coming in." A crash echoes through the bathroom, the door slams against the wall and then all three of them barge into the small space.
My breath catches. The biggest predators in the world are within arm’s reach and my mind screams run, but my body isn’t in sync with my physical capabilities. My muscles give out as I lurch upright and then Ronan is there, catching me before I sprawl over the edge of the tub.
I’m enveloped in solid, warm muscle, and masculine fresh pine and air charged with thunder, sharp and clean, grounded by rich soil that makes my eyes cross and my mouth water.
Warm breath brushes my frigid skin as he hauls me from the cold water, wrapping strong arms around me and pressing me hard against him.So broad and solid and warm. "I’ve got you, Kitten."
My abdomen twists in response to his deep rumble and dark promise. The cramp tearing through me makes me cry out and hot slick gushes between my thighs. Rose petals tainted with sharp anise bloom in the humid air. Ronan hardens instantly, an unmistakable bulge thickening against my belly. His groan vibrates through his chest and spears into me.
Jax’s sweet smoke and the heart of the earth, unfurls in my lungs, thick and earthy, dizzying and homey as he crowds my right. Gabriel’s zesty citrus and cloves flickers like sunlight over my skin on my left. The combination tangles with my own, a pulsing lust that shoots through every nerve. My body aches, arousal flaring as they crowd around me on all sides. A coordinated attack.
"Fuck, you’re too cold," Ronan breathes, his lips at my temple.
Gabriel dips his hand into the tub and lets out a sharp sound. "That water’s freezing, Leah." His eyes find mine, wide with alarm and hunger both.
"Keeping the…heat under control." Now I’m out of the iced water, the cold peels away, replaced with a searing ache and so… Much. Need.
