Page 22 of Ruin Me Knot
Something wild thrashes inside me. I want to scream, to demand how this can be real, when all I know is betrayal carving trust into pieces. I’m splitting in two. Half ready to bolt, half desperate to collapse into their waiting arms and pretend I believe them.
Flames crackle under my skin. My belly quakes and the familiar relentless pressure pushes me to the edge. A sharp tang of anise cuts through the rose, curling, tangling with their musk. I clutch the towel at my neck, but my body betrays me and coats my thighs in slick to ease their way into my body.
Thoughts dissolve into static, hot and sharp and everywhere. I squeeze the towel so hard my fingers go numb and now there’s nothing steady left to grip as panic swells and drowns out the world.
Fuck, I’m out of time.
I have to tell them.
A bead of sweat drips down the side of my face. I hate that I have to give away a secret. Hate that I must trust them, but there’s no choice. Not telling them could be worse.
Perhaps they won’t care once I’m out of my head.
I bite down on my bottom lip, summoning the courage, trying to push words through the noise inside my skull. I may have endured heat after agonizing heat, but Hardwick never allowed an Alpha to ease me through any of them. I’mnot a virgin; Wallace obliterated anything associated with that with the endless implements he used on me, but I’ve never been fucked by human flesh.
A cramp assaults me and I grit my teeth, riding it out and pretending as though my insides aren’t twisting around barbed wire. I push my fist against my abdomen, but it doesn’t make a lick of difference.
I must make a noise as I sway toward Ronan because his hands tighten on my waist and I feel a tremor run through them. "We’ll be gentle. We promise to give you only what you need."
"You don’t understand…" I grit out, voice shaking, shame burning bright.
Ronan brushes a damp strand of hair off my shoulder. "Tell us, Kitten. What don’t we understand?"
I clamp my eyes shut to avoid their inevitable disgust when they realize how broken and ruined I really am. "I’ve never… I’ve never had….an Alpha…before."
"What?" Jax’s voice booms off the walls.
My eyes flutter open at Gabriel’s strangled sound and the clench of Ronan’s thick thighs under me.
"What did you just say, Kitten?" Ronan’s voice is iron, dark fury etched across his face. Intensity sparks in his gaze, low thunder rumbling deep in his chest.
My own anger flares, lighting up every bitter corner. Sharp words fly out before I can stop them. Because fuck his rage. Fuck their anger. It wasn’t them strapped to that gurney, bleeding into tubes. It wasn’t them forced into heat and writhing agony for profit. "What do you want to hear? That I’ve never had a cock before? That even when they forced me into heat month after fucking month, Hardwick and Wallace never let anyone touch me; never let me have relief? That I had to remain pure for their twisted experiments because if I wasn’t, I'd contaminate their findings?"
My throat aches with the truth. I’m panting great gulps of too-thin air. Ronan’s face is blurred behind the tears I’m not letting fall. I know I’m saying too much but I don’t care. Let them experience a millionth of the misery I did. Let them understand how much I don’t want to be here. Let them know how much I hate being what I am. For once let someone hear what I have to say.
"I begged for it once. I even beggedWallacefor his knot. And all he did was gag me so tight I nearly suffocated so he could work in peace."
Chapter Eleven
Leah
Iwait for their disgust, for the recoil to come, but Gabriel bows his head, his massive chest sawing in and out. Anguish radiates off him, as if my words have carved through his skin. His grief, his fury, vibrate in the air between us. It hurts, but not the way I was braced for.
Jax lets out a sound that’s half snarl, half roar. He storms from the room, the floor quaking under his steps. A heartbeat later there’s a bang, then the crack of drywall splitting and somethingheavy shattering.
Ronan doesn’t move. He’s utterly still, coiled and lethal, his eyes fixed on mine.Predator still. "Tell me again. This Wallace. Who is he and why did he…ignore your request?"
Shame still crawls over me. I don’t know why this is my shame. I didn’t torture anyone, yet it’s there. Embedded and unchangeable. "Ethan Wallace is Hardwick’s lead scientist. He’s the one who…" I lick my lips and force the words. "When Hardwick gave the order, Wallace rolled it out."
Gabriel sits tense, muscles taut, his jaw shaking as he struggles for control. "He’s a dead man walking."
Don’t know how that’s going to happen when he’s clearly not here. One thing Hardwick knows how to do is hide. By now, she’ll have every stolen Omega, every asshat wannabe Beta and especially Wallace in a fresh new hiding spot.
Jax returns, breath harsh, blood streaking across his knuckles. He keeps his distance, but his gaze never leaves me. "Wallace dies slow. He pays for every minute he touched you without giving you some relief."
"That’s a promise, brother," Gabriel says.
A gentle hand brushes my shoulder, and I turn, finding Ronan’s steady burn trained on me. "They forced a heat on you? Everymonth?"
