Page 44 of Ruin Me Knot
I weep until there’s nothing left but the steady sound of their voices, their touch, their scents. My sobs dissolve into hiccups. I slacken, boneless and spent, heavy against Ronan’s body. I bury my nose against Ronan’s gland, breathing in pine forests, and honesty, safety,truth.
My face is swollen, my eyes sticky and I’m totally wrung out. I don’t have the strength for words, can’t muster another breath to speak. I just exist, soaking up the river of praise and safety they’re flooding me with.
Ronan’s heartbeat syncs with my breathing. The steady drum lulls any residual panic until only exhaustion remains. His purr thrums into my bones, grounding the marrow inside me. Gabriel’s hand never leaves my back, drawing slow, mindless circles. Jax’s thigh and shoulder keep me bracketed, the heat of his presence a shield holding the darkness at bay. They all purr, the sound harmonizing and purifying the very air around me.
The world blurs down to the steady breath of my Alphas and their essence pressing into my skin. I drift in the trance they create. A hypnotic quiet. I can only breathe them in, let their words unwind in my mind and pull me under.
Good Omega.
Perfect.
Safe.
Loved.
A soft brush slides through my hair. I blink my eyes open, vision blurred and thick. Gabriel is right in front of me, eyes crinkling at the corners as if we share a secret. His touch is light as he teases out the knots tangling my hair. "You like that, Sweetheart?"
My scalp tingles, nerves loosening under the soothing rhythm. Each careful stroke drags me deeper into that soft, melting place. I sink into the cocoon. This nest they’ve made from their bodies. I answer with a shudder because, hells yes, but I’m too strung out to find the words to tell him that this is the best sensation.
He sweeps a stray lock behind my ear and leans in. "Hey, Leah. You want to hear how I became a pack with these bozos?"
A quiet place inside me flutters, and a small, bright urge to know unfurls because I do. I want to know about them. Gabriel glides the brush through my hair as he grins at the others, mischief in his eyes. "You want the truth, or my version of the truth?" His tone is pure trouble. "Which is the real truth, I might add."
A spark lights in Jax’s eyes. "Start with the real version, Gabe, or she’s gonna believe you joined up just for the free hair gel."
Gabriel rolls his eyes. "He’s just jealous I have good hair." He cuts Jax off when the latter starts to protest. I keep to myself that I like Jax’s neat buzz cut. It enhances his sharp jaw and the intense gleam in his eyes when he studies me.
Gabriel’s voice brings me back from that precipice. "I joined for the thrill, obviously. We all presented as Alphas at the usual age. Sixteen. All a little too proud of ourselves, but we knew our destiny. We had to wait another couple of years to join the army though, and that’s when we met. Ronan showed up forbasic training looking like he was ready to bench press half the squad. The original strong, silent type."
"Because I am.” The corner of Ronan’s mouth twitches. His hand is steady on my hip, grounding, a quiet anchor just like I imagine he was on those first days of these three meeting.
Gabriel waves a hand, picking up the story. "We got tossed in the same fireteam within the first week. The army doesn’t waste any time in basic training. They dropped us in this disaster of a mock combat zone. Night, chaos, alarms, smoke grenades. Honestly, it felt more like a rave than a rescue mission. The goal was to drag out ‘wounded’ under fire. Those actor dummies weren’t light either."
Jax huffs. "Gabe starts trash talking from the first minute on comms. You’d swear the man doesn’t get nervous, just starts heckling the rest of us. ‘Move, princess. Omega socials have more hustle than you!’" His Gabriel-esque impression makes Gabriel roll his eyes but my lips twitch because he’s spot on.
"I lighten the mood." Gabriel huffs but he’s fighting his own grin. "Jax was so amped up, he carried two dummies at once while tossing back ‘motivational speeches’ that sounded suspiciously like sports advertisements."
"What can I say? I was good under stress. Still am." Jax is right with that assessment too. I’ve seen him in action when he rescued me from the facility.
"Ronan was pure focus. Never hesitated. Never left a corner unchecked," Gabriel says.
Ronan shrugs, the slight movement jostling me. "Someone had to stop you two from running straight into a wall. I saw someone freezing up, I brought them back. We stick together or nobody gets out."
Their memory plays out between them, an invisible thread weaving them back through mud and floodlights and shouts. All that chaos flattened into the golden hush that pulses in the room now.
Jax rubs his large palm up and down my spine. "After that drill I couldn’t shake these idiots if I tried. We had the fastest time. The cleanest extraction. Nobody was left behind. I figured if I was going to make it through the corps, and the rest of my life, I might as well do it with the two most stubborn bastards alive."
Gabriel’s voice drops as he looks right at me. "That’s when we made our pack."
"How…did you know?" My voice is rusty, but I can’t help leaning into them, soaking in the story, the teasing and the way their voices layer and ride on each other. A strange, tentative joy stirs in my chest.
Gabriel tucks a silky strand of hair behind my ear. "How did I know these Alphas were my pack? Something settled in me. There was an innateknowingthat Jax and Ronan are the males I wanted to share my life with. My chosen brothers."
"I knew the minute those two didn’t leave anyone behind. Not even when everything got messy. A switch flicked on inside me and everything was right in the world." Jax’s voice is gruff, but affection burns in every word.
Ronan’s arms tighten around my waist. "There’s a moment where the noise goes quiet. You start thinking about someone besides yourself. You’ll take a hit for them. You’ll carry their weight, literally or not. Loyalty stops being a word and turns into a promise. That’s the bond."
"There’s honesty to it. You’re not putting on a front anymore. We could joke, we could bleed, we could fuck up and know the others would still be there. That’s how you know. Heart knows heart. We belonged together in a way that made sense, even when nothing else does." Gabriel smiles, my hair still threaded through his fingers. "And now we get to add you to our story. You complete us, Omega. You’re our heart. Our center. Without you, a piece of us will always be missing. That’s how perfect you are. How wanted. You’re a piece of us and now, together, we’re whole."
