Page 47 of Ruin Me Knot
My cheeks heat when I hear my own words. Way to state the obvious. Of course I slept. He knows. He was right here. All the while wrapped around him as he let me use his body as I would my nest. I track the honey-gold shadows on the walls, the sun sinking low. It’s late afternoon. I didn’t just rest. I was out for hours. I never let myself go like that.
Ronan’s smile only grows, deepening, making every fluttery place in my chest spark to life. I swear I feel the warmth of it brush over my skin. "You did. And you can use me as a mattress anytime, Kitten. Hell, I hope you choose to, often. I’ve never slept better in my life."
Something sweet and untamed beats through me. My legs jitter, stomach twisting as hundreds of butterflies scatter in my belly. I draw in a breath of pine, crisp and clear.Truth. I search for any telltale sign of danger, that subtle burn at the edge of a threat, but there is none. I fill my lungs, daring the truth to change.
He tilts his head and offers me his neck. "Take everything you desire from me, Leah. I’m only going to be honest with you. You’re my Omega. There are no lies between us. Only truth."
His words linger, his clean scent drifting through me, impossible to ignore.
Before I can think of a response, Jax approaches. "Don’t be greedy, brother. I’ve watched you be smug as hell all day.” He gently taps my shoulder. “I’m more than happy to be your next mattress. Now it’s my turn to spoil you. Would you like hot chocolate and cookies?"
I drop my gaze to see he’s holding a steaming mug and a plate. “Are thosechocolate chipcookies?"
My cheeks grow hotter when I hear my breathless tone. The last time I ate a cookie was years ago when I lived at home. A switch flips in my brain and I’m flooded with memories of laughing with Mom after school, sharing hot chocolate and cookies while I told her about my day.
A warm palm settles on my thigh. "Come back to us, Omega."
I snap back into the moment to find Jax crouching in front of me. His hands are the hot brands on my thigh. He’s staring into my eyes. He must see something on my face because he smiles, and the effect is just as devastating as Ronan’s smile. "Perfect Omega."
I can’t help the full body shudder that works through me. I don’t know where I went for the moment. The memory pulled me straight under which is strange. This has never happened before. Not in the years I was at Haven, nor at the facility. Not even when Hardwick did her worst.
"Let’s get you settled so you can enjoy these, shall we?" Ronan says.
He settles his hands gently at my waist, shifts his grip and guides me to turn, easing me until I’m tucked sideways across his lap instead of sprawled over his torso. My legs drape over his thighs, feet nudging the coffee table, blanket sagging in the crook of his arm.
He brushes loose hair off my cheek, tucking it behind my ear before his palm drifts back to rest gentle and steady on my hip as Jax hands me the mug first and then the plate of cookies.
"Enjoy them, Sunshine," Jax says.
I pick up a cookie with trembling fingers and take a small, tentative bite. "Oh, my Gods. This is delicious." The buttery crumb melts on my tongue, so rich and sweet I can’t hold back a soft moan. It escapes before I can swallow it down, instantly answered by a low, ragged sound from Ronan.
His mouth drops to my neck, warm breath tracing my skin. He drags his nose along the sensitive curve beneath my ear, inhaling deep. The shiver that runs through me is instinctive as I feel the firm swell of his cock nestled against my thigh.
"Ignore me, Kitten. Eat your cookie." Ronan’s voice is teasing, warmth lacing his words. "I can’t help myself with you in my arms."
I start to shift away, uncertainty prickling through me, but his arm bands around my waist, holding me right where I am. "Stay," he says, more a plea than a command. "Just stay."
He doesn’t move a muscle, holding my gaze steady before I sink against him. His heartbeat thrums against my shoulder and my muscles loosen. His touch trails up my spine to gently lock around my nape. He nudges me with his nose and whispers in my ear. "Good Omega."
The lingering tightness in my body eases and my appetite returns in a rush. I nibble another cookie, chase it with a mouthful of hot chocolate, every bone humming with quiet pleasure. Jax settles next to us on the couch. He sets my feet in his lap and circles my ankles with his fingers. I should feel stifled as they both touch me like this, but… I don’t.
Jax’s gaze traces the cookie when I take another nibble, and he sucks his lower lip between even white teeth. "I could watch you eat all day, Omega." The butterflies loose inside me take off on another flight.
Ronan’s voice is low and gentle as I finish the cookie. "Where’d you go just before, Kitten?"
I should have known he wouldn’t forget. Old fear snaps to life. Words pile up behind my teeth but my throat closes over. The programming instilled in me is so strong, but Ronan’s chest vibrates with a velvet purr. His fingers tighten aroundmy nape, anchoring me to the present. The words ‘good Omega’ whisper through my mind, filling the hollow darkness. Clean masculine scents wrap around me, and the memories flow as words loosen.
"I was thinking of my life when I was young. If Mom was home early from work, we’d make cookies and chat about our day." The memories rise in beautiful color, bringing with them the taste of days past. Good days. Happy days.
Something cracks opens inside me. Missing my parents never left me, and the ache spears through me, sharp and immediate. I was never allowed to grieve when Mercer told me they’d died in a car accident. After she delivered the news with as much empathy as a brick wall, Lars shoved me down the Basement stairs and told me I needed to ‘work for my education’.
What I experienced wasn’t education. It was systematic, horrific torture designed to dehumanize us until we were nothing but shells for the Alphas who would one day buy us for our heats.
I swallow hard, blinking against the sting behind my eyes. I never got to say goodbye to my parents. Never got to remember the good parts out loud. But here in the golden hush, it’s okay to miss what I had.
Jax kisses my temple, lips lingering just long enough to steady the ache inside me. "Thank you for telling us that, Leah. Thank you for letting us hear it." For a beat, he just looks at me. Really looks, and the honesty in his gaze holds me still.
"I never had a mom like yours. My folks did what they could, but there was never enough money or food to go around. My parents had to give my brother and me up, hoping it would give us a better future. Group homes were supposed to save us, but mostly, they just shuffled us from one place to another."
