Page 50 of Ruin Me Knot
She cries inside my mind. I place one more brick in the wall. She begs. I place another brick. She wails. I put more and more until she’s nothing but a murmur. And it’s quiet. So, so quiet.
That’s what you get, you stupid, ruined Omega. You want a cage, then you get one. Somewhere it won’t affect me.
"Leah.Leah!"
I blink hard, vision swimming until the room snaps back into place. Ronan’s arms are around me, his chest pressed to my nose. My skin prickles. He’s right there and I never felt his presence crossing the space between us, nor his arms closing around me.
I jerk away, stumbling a few steps until I catch my balance which only makes everything more exposed. All three of them tense and I’m caught beneath their scrutiny once more.
They notice too much.
An acidic taint drifts from my skin, but I push it away, refusing to let it stick to my thoughts.
"Leah, are you okay?" A line etches between Ronan’s brows.
I force a smile to my lips. My cheeks pull tight around it. It holds, stiff and unmoving, but it feels all wrong. I keep it there anyway. "I’m fine, thank you."
His nostrils flare, testing for lies, but he won’t catch one because what I just told them was the truth. If I keep myself in this vigilant numbness, I know exactly what I have to do. I bring my gaze to Gabriel’s. "Dinner smells amazing, Gabriel. Thank you for cooking. I’m looking forward to the first taste of lasagna I’ve had in years." Again, not a lie. We were lucky to get gruel.
I slide into a chair at the table and fold my hands, keeping my mantra running through my mind. I’m going to remind myself exactly why I have to stay focused.Stupid Omega. Ruined Omega.
I smile at them while I wait for them to take their seats. Let them see what they want to see. I’ll play their little game, eat what’s in front of me, get strong and learn their patterns. I’ll wait it out, make them think I’m settling, make them believe they have me safe, tame, right where they want me.
But when the time is right and the trap opens, I’ll run.
I’ll beat them at their own game.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ronan
Ishare a knowing look with Gabe and Jax. Something is wrong with our Omega.
Her smile is forced and brittle, her eyes falsely bright, shoulders drawn tight in a tension that’s no doubt building a headache.
I meet Gabriel's gaze over her bowed head, his eyes darkening. Jax compresses his lips into a thin line. We understand this tactic. Healing never moves in a straight line. Sometimes it’s two steps forward and one back, other times one step forwardand two back.
The mind scrambles to build walls against fresh hurt. It convinces itself that never trusting is clever. When real care creeps close and real feelings bloom, defenses level up and throw walls higher and sharper. It switches from fear to calculation, running endless what-if scenarios. Leah is trying to protect herself from the devastating truth that she wants what we offer but is too afraid to accept it.
Part of me rejoices because she feels something for us, enough to protect herself. She’s afraid because she’s letting us in, and it terrifies her enough that her mind snaps back into survival mode.
She’s incredibly fragile right now. We’ll have to move carefully. Anything we do can and will be misconstrued. Her mind will twist every word and action. If we show her any of the aggression she associates with Alphas, she’ll slip farther away from us.
What worries me more is that chemical taint drifting from her again. It lingers under her normal perfume, worry growing claws and catching in my gut. I tuck my fear down and concentrate on keeping myself in check.
The lasagna holds its warmth, sending up curls of steam. Her gaze falls to the dish, and she swallows. She must be starving, which is good news. She’s not so shut down she’s ignoring her body's need for nourishment. I’ll take a win wherever I can.
I plate up a large slice and slide it in front of her. "Here, Kitten. Start with this."
Her eyes widen in disbelief as she takes in the huge portion. "You can have as much as you want. There are no rules or limits on food. There never will be with us."
Her mouth parts for half a beat too long before she schools herself. Her lashes sweep low, lips thinning into a stubborn line, the tiniest quiver at the corners. She shifts in her chair, chin angling down, as she drops her gaze to her meal.
Her fingers hover at the edge of her plate before she picks up the fork. Her eyes flicker to Gabriel, then to Jax. They’re still standing there watching her, but they don’t miss the cue. None of us do. They drop into their chairs, heavy limbs folding with affected casualness that doesn’t fool anyone who knows the stakes.
Gabriel plants an elbow on the table. "I’ll set some aside for you in case you want more. With these two, I barely blink, and the food is gone." He shoots a glance at Jax and waggles his fork. "Remember that time Ronan finished half a roast chicken before I’d even poured the wine?"
Jax, catching on, rolls his eyes. "I have never seen an Alpha so aggressively competitive about dinner. He claims it’s survival instinct, but really, it’s just greed." There’s the faintest upturn at the corner of his mouth.
