Page 52 of Ruin Me Knot
I can’t stand to see her war with herself. Can’t take the ache of watching her turn in circles, lost in her own torment. I’ll go mad if I don’t do something about it. Her fingers clasp my biceps as she struggles to push away, but I can’t let her go. Iwon’tlet her go.
I’ll be the Alpha she deserves no matter how much she might hate me for it. "It’s okay, Kitten. You’re going into heat again. We’ll help take away the pain."
Chapter Twenty-Four
Leah
Everything inside me is wrong. I am unmade. Peeled raw. It’s a kind of agony, but nothing compares to the humiliation of what will follow. My body is a traitor and has never known the meaning of mercy.
I want to scream.
I want to claw out of my own skin.
Fire crawls up my thighs, floods my belly, scratches beneath my breastbone until it sears me from the inside out. My clothes stick and scrape, every thread sandpaperagainst my skin.
Ronan’s presence is immediate and inescapable. He says something, gentle and guttural, voice soft with concern. I can barely parse it through the static in my head. "Kitten, you’re burning up. You’re shaking." There’s awe and fear in him, too, and something tender that I want to rip from the air, stomp to death.
He feelsgood. Warm, steady, right. Right and wrong. The shape of him crowds every one of my nerves. I’m shaking in his arms, molten between my thighs, and my body is once again making me its prisoner. The weight of Gabriel and Ronan, the charged air between us, fills my head and makes my knees buckle, my back arch. I’m gasping. Desperate for my Alphas’ touch, sick with wanting.
I want to bite and curse and tear into them. My skin prickles with self-loathing, nausea coiling through the fever. I hate the Omega in me, turning me into this slavering beast that can’t tell what the real danger is.Sheonly recognizes the relief in her Alphas’ touch. She craves things we should be running from.
If I could, I would rip her out before she can humiliate me further. Instead, my thighs squeeze together, sliding with the slick my body is releasing.
I wish he would let go.
I wish he would never let go.
Gabriel comes up behind me, wrapping me in power, sweet and warm like afternoon sun. His palms sear my biceps as he fits his hard chest against my back and his hips to my flank and, oh Gods, that’s perfect. "We don’t like seeing you like this. Let us take the ache away, Sweetheart."
I don’t want their help.
I want to disappear.
I want to be ash.
But my body buckles, useless and weak, and arousal scalds fresh through me so angry, so demanding, it isn’t even truly mine. I dig my nails into my palms, searching for a lifeline, for anything to anchor me as another rush of need twists through my gut. I don’t want to want them. Not Ronan, not Gabriel, not Jax. Not their hands, not their scents, not the safety they offer.
But the part inside me I hate howls for her Alphas.Shewants their hands. Their bodies. Wants to climb into their warmth and stay there, forever. The wallI rebuilt trembles and a fault line splits down the center. I try to hold it together. I try to holdmyselftogether, to will the heat away, but my body fights against me too. Every part of me is at war, and I’m exhausted.
A strangled noise catches in my throat as my abdomen locks up tight, a throb ripping through my center. I barely draw a breath when the next cramp follows bigger and deeper. I tuck my face into Ronan’s chest, shame flooding my skin because I’m so hollow inside and I know his cock is the only thing that will fix this.
I won’t cry. I won’t beg.
I will not letherwin.
I will not give her the satisfaction. I’ll ride it out, sobbing for air, hating everything she is and, oh my Gods,air.
I can’t get enough. My body is shaking, muscles knotting under my skin, arousal swimming in my veins until I taste copper on my tongue. I can barely get a breath in. Each inhalation is too tight, too shallow, too rapid. My chest heaves but I’m breathing through a narrow straw and no matter how hard I try, air won’t make its way in.
Ronan’s arms tighten around me, anchoring me and not letting me float away. Gabriel slides behind me, his fingers banding over my shoulders as he molds himself to my back, covering Ronan’s hand. His body heat sears into me, but despite how hot I am, the warmth isn’t invasive. Their steady comfort blankets the simmering, demanding arousal.
A deep, rumbling vibration pulses through my chest and back. The vibrations meet in my bones, thrumming through the molten ache inside me.
It’s impossible to stay rigid, nestled between the two of them as they purr. Their sounds ripple through me, reaching the place where instinct takes over. The noise seeps through panic, loosening something deep and hidden. My breathing slows. The shaking eases, each inhale steadier than the last.
The world slows by a fraction. My heart feels less like it will punch through my ribs and for a moment I remember how it was to be cared for without conditions, before everything went wrong.
My chest loosens. The edges of the room blur and my breath lengthens, deepens, as if my body recognizes a refuge safer than pain or fear. For a moment, the panic recedes, leaving space for a quieter calm in its wake.
