Page 54 of Ruin Me Knot
"Get her in the shower. Now." Alpha barks and my limbs jerk.
I’m lifted. I’m a boneless puppet. I’m carried, pressed close to a chest that smells like citrus and spice meeting golden light, but the haze turns cold at the edges and then I realize the haze is here.
The haze means things happen to me, things I have no say in, things I can’t stop. My breath quickens, animal and sharp. "No!" but the word is only air, not sound.
I can’t do this. I can’t.
And then gentle, careful hands cup my jaw, stroke my hair, thumbs circle my temples. Purring rises, low and steady, from every direction, layered and thick. The vibrations sink under my skin, root into my bones, coax the panic back from the precipice and then the scratchy clothes are gone, and cool, cool water flows over me and I sigh and sink into the overwhelming darkness.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gabriel
Leah lies slack against my chest, all bird-bones and fever-heat, her breath shallow along my collarbone. We’re sprawled in the base of the shower, cold water sluicing over us. I shake so hard I nearly rattle my teeth. I’m soaked to the skin, chest convulsing with every breath and I don’t care.
I wedge my back against the tile and tip up my chin, letting the water cut fine, icy tracks down my cheeks. Ronan kneels on one side, droplets beading and rolling over his jaw as he strokes her cheek. Jax stands just outside the stall, bare feet planted in the puddling water, hands fisting and flexing at his sides, shock carved in brutal linesacross his face.
Jax keeps swallowing, throat shuddering. Ronan keeps glancing from Leah to me, as if he can somehow fix this just by looking hard enough. Undo her shattering in front of us.
She’s colder now. Her skin pale and translucent. The air around her is still fouled with that chemical taint that coats my mouth with old pennies. That rotten undertone clings to her real self like poison.
I press my mouth to her temple, barely daring to blink.
My hands won’t stop shaking.
Ronan swallows. He’s as shaken as Jax and me. "She’s… She’s not just having a bad night. She’s breaking apart. She called her Omega ‘her,’ like it’s a whole other person."
Jax swears under his breath. "She really thinks she ruined her own life. That she’s poison."
"It’s worse than that. She’s split herself down the center to survive her abuse." The systematic breaking at Haven and the facility didn’t just damage her body. It shattered her mind. The only way she could make sense of the horror was to blame herself. She turned all that hate inward until she fractured.
"She’s one of the worst cases we’ve ever seen." My voice sounds like gravel. I hold her wrist as if her skin could teach me how to put her back together.
"Did you find out who Leah saw out the window?" Ronan asks Jax.
Jax wipes a hand across his face, frustration sparking under his careful calm. "I didn’t. Whoever it was disappeared fast. There was no trace by the time I got outside."
I hesitate, dreading the answer. "Do you think she really saw someone? Or was spiraling because of everything in her system?"
Jax’s gaze rests on our Omega. "I wish I knew. Who could blame her for seeing monsters in the shadows? But…" He shakes his head, jaw working. "We can’t afford to write anything off as just her imagination. If she really saw something, then we’ll get to the bottom of it."
Whatever the reason, it doesn't change her state. She’s been through so fucking much. Most of it, we’ll never fully know. All we can do is be here consistently topick up the pieces. Which I will do willingly for the rest of my life. There’snothingI won’t do for our Omega.
Leah stirs in my arms, lashes fluttering against her damp cheeks. Her body contracts, legs twitching, and her sweet floral aroma rises through the cold water, travels from my nose to my balls and squeezes with an iron fist.
"Gods," I choke out.
Jax fists his erection and Ronan’s gaze burns with pure hunger. Her hormones aren’t helping with her mental spiral. I want to take her to our home where she can have her own space, and a proper nest, somewhere she might accept the part of herself she's rejected as her only means of survival.
Where she can thrive, not just survive.
Where she can heal without doubt.
Where she can be who she truly is.
Her eyes blink open and I fall into stormy gray clouds, her pupils so wide their color is a barely-there ring. She focuses on me and her scent ripens and thickens. Sweet and syrupy with desire.
"Alpha." She cups my cheek, palm trembling but sure, and traces her thumb along the stubble of my jaw. The moment is so tender it bruises.
