Page 61 of Ruin Me Knot
I grab onto his thick wrist, pushing him away. Pulling him to me. The sharp claws inside me shred my soft center. I swallow the hot rise of a sob because I won’t survive that kindness. I spread my arms over the bricks inside me, willing them to stay in place even when I’m standing knee deep in rubble. "You're delusional. Nothing can help. Let me go. Forget about me."
I can’t be worth this much trouble. I just can’t.
Ronan tilts my chin again until I have to meet his eyes. I must have spoken out loud, because he says. "You’re worth everything."
Then his large fingers curve around the back of my skull, he holds me in place, jams my nose against his neck and my world swirls.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Leah
Ronan gathers me against him, containing me as though he can barricade away the world with his body, shield me from the shrapnel inside my skull. My skin prickles, nerves jackknifing between want and terror. My limbs flail in an uncoordinated attempt to push away. Thunder rolls through me, a seismic wave down my spine, and I hate how easily I melt, bones dissolving until I’m limp in his arms, as if my skeleton was only ever provisional.
"So good. So perfect. Right here with us." Ronan’s voice is a low river of commandand devotion.
Those words are too much. Too sharp, too raw, and I choke on them, unable to swallow. My breath gets all tangled, chest locking up as though something heavy sits on me. I claw at the air, at him, at myself. Ronan strokes my hair, his thumb tracing soothing patterns at my temple.
"Jax, help me cradle her. She’s spiraling again."
Jax shifts behind me and frames my body from my shoulder blades to my ankles. Every inch of him supports me: his arm snaking beneath my waist, fitting to my body’s curve. His palm spans my ribcage, thumb splayed just shy of my pulse. He is all warmth, all steady anchoring, vanilla and sunlight and the deep base-note of earth. My back fits perfectly into his chest, as if he’s always been meant to catch me.
Jax presses his nose to the crown of my head and speaks so close it vibrates through my skull. "I’ve got you, Sunshine. I’ve got you."
Jax’s purr harmonizes with Ronan’s. My body betrays me as muscles loosen, and my eyelids fall heavy. My mind claws at the edges, trying to retain purchase, but I’m tumbling down a river of their intent. Pushed and pulled and soothed in equal measure.
Jax’s lips trace the whorl of my ear. "Such a sweet girl letting us hold you. So perfect, Sunshine."
Ronan’s hand finds my jaw, tilting it up so I drown in the dark promise of his eyes as he lifts his head. "Listen to our words. Test our scents. Trust your instincts."
I resist these words, all sharp teeth and splintered glass, but when Ronan edges my nose to his scent gland again, my body wants. My mind softens. I’m purr-soothed and scent-drunk. Their hands map my skin, they keep telling me how much I mean to them, and I’m falling, falling, into a twilight drenched in confusion.
Time hangs strangely in this in-between place where I’m floating on scent and soft words. It’s like a heat except there’s no frantic beat between my thighs. Just a steady hum of contentment blanketing my nerves. My body is slack, boneless, heavy and liquid at once, as if every muscle has surrendered and become a lazy river running beneath skin.
When I swim back up through the haze, Gabriel’s thick thighs bracket me. He’s a mountain behind me, unyielding warmth and gentle restraint as one arm bands soft around my waist. His body is a wall of comfort, the steady rise and fall of his breath giving the world some new, necessary rhythm. I’m both weightless and anchored, safe in a way that frays the edges of old, hard memories.
Jax and Ronan sit in the corners of the opposite side of the nest, their voices a steady rumble around me as they chat. The center of the nest has been smoothed down and is covered in plates piled with cut fruit, crisp bacon, and soft rolls shining with butter. My stomach pinches with hunger.
Gabriel dips his head, running his nose along my cheek as his purr strokes against my spine. "Hey, there she is. Have a nice rest, Sweetheart?"
My breath snags halfway down my chest, but I force it out anyway. "I only rested because Ronan and Jax tricked me." The words are sticky, like I’ve confessed something private.
Gabriel chuckles. "They didn’t trick you. You rested because you’re exhausted and you’re healing in more ways than just the physical."
Heat rises to my cheeks because his scent stays warm and zesty.Truth. Not a lie to sully his bright citrus. His body doesn't lie either. Not by the unmistakable hardness against my back. "You took off your apron."
"Hmmm. I didn’t want to be the odd one out," Gabriel says.
A quick check of Ronan and Jax shows me we’re all naked under the thin throw rugs placed over their laps and my front.
"I don’t mind wearing clothing," I say.
I should be uncomfortable being with three naked Alphas in my—a—nest, but I’m not. I ignore the subtle throb between my thighs that has nothing to do with the acres of bare muscle on display, nor the essences that coat my skin, infusing me.
"And you will. Once we’ve drowned out those voices those assholes have nailed in your head and you believe we only have your best interests at heart," Jax growls.
"You’re tricking me. Hoping that all of this" I gesture between us. "will make me change my mind."
"Not making you change your mind, Kitten. Only opening your eyes to what your instincts already know." Ronan leans over to slide his fingers along my jaw.
