Page 67 of Ruin Me Knot
He grins at Gabriel, eyes rolling. "You heathen. We’re not savages living in the wild. We can eat off plates."
Gabriel just snorts, settles the box of pastries in my lap, and flicks open the lid. The rush of sugar, flaky butter, caramelized fruit and spice, and dark chocolate melting into dough makes my stomach clutch with want.
Inside is a glorious tangle of pastry. Glossy chocolate croissants, sugar-dusted escargots swirled with pistachio and cream, braided plaits dotted with berries, rough domes sticky with apricot glaze. A stack of cinnamon knots glistens with glaze. I even spy a single, goldenkouign-amann, its caramelized sugar edges burnished and inviting.
Gabriel rubs the back of his neck. "I, uh… I bought one of everything. Didn’t know what you’d want. Figured better too much than not enough. You can try them all if you want, or just whatever you like."
I don’t know what to pick. The choice is impossible. "It’s been so long since I’ve had anything like this."
Gabriel plucks thekouign-amannfrom the box and hands it to me. "Have my favorite. I want you to make it yours."
That first bite shatters between my teeth, the caramelized sugar giving way to rich, salty butter beneath. Flavor floods my tongue and for a suspended moment I’m fifteen again, wedged between my parents in our local coffee shop. The laughter, the easy warmth, my mother sneaking me her half of a pastry just like this, my dad pretending not to notice. I’d forgotten. Gods, I’d forgotten I ever had mornings like that before my world fractured.
I clench my eyes closed, holding back hot tears, cradling the memory, desperate for it to stay untouched by everything that happened at Haven. I want it to stay clean. Just one small piece of my life that can remain unsullied.
The Alphas are fighting not to stare at me, but their attention is a living thing. Gabriel can’t help himself. "Knew you’d like it." He chews his own bite, voicelight, but then something brighter edges in. "Just wait until we take you outside later."
Chapter Thirty-One
Leah
The pastry slips from my fingers, landing with a soft thud on the plate. Breath leaves me in a rush. "Outside?"
"Hey." Gabriel’s face stills, his eyes wide. "Deep breath for me, all right?"
"You said…you said it wasn’t safe. You said I wasn't allowed." My chest rattles, panic sticking to my skin, cold and slick.
This is the trap. The one I’ve been waiting for, the catch I knew was coming. They’ve lulled me into thinking something else when it was a trap all along. They’ll lead me outside and the minute I do one thing they don’t like, it’ll be the excuse they need to shove me back inside four walls. Anothercage. No way out.
Or maybe if I don’t tell them no now, they’ll yank my nest away, like they did at Haven. They’ll take my warmth and softness. The security I tried to pretend was real because that’s the hold they have over me. The power to offer comfort and rip it away the second I make a single misstep.
I let simple comforts dull my senses. Let myselfwant, even for a moment. I forgot how to stay sharp. Vigilant. Now I’m going to pay because I forgot myself. There’s always a reckoning, and it’s here. This is payback and the cost will be taken out on my flesh. My breathing comes shallow, too fast. Each inhale snags on the next, jagged, scraping my throat raw.
Fingers close around my wrists, gentle at first then firmer as I thrash blindly. My muscles snap tight, trying to wrench free, but I’m drowning, sucked below the surface. Panic coils tighter and my lungs seize, scraping for air. The world swims in streaks of white-hot terror.
Strong arms band around me, locking me down. I choke on a cry. A low and steady vibration rolls through me, growing louder until it’s everywhere. Alpha purrs. Three at once, bodies pressed close, sound shaking the cage of my ribs.
My nose is smashed against skin, a burst of smoked sugary musk flooding my head, heavy and grounding. Something inside me claws for air until a voice, deep and dark, rumbles directly in my ear.
"Breathe, Sunshine. That’s it. In and out. Control it." Jax. His fingers slide through my hair, smoothing and combing, coaxing the panic back. "It’s all right," he keeps saying, voice an anchor dragging me to shore. "You’re safe. You’re safe, Leah."
I’m trembling, awareness seeping in. The world swims back, my vision clearing. I’m sprawled across Jax’s chest, his arms and Gabriel’s banded around my waist and shoulders, Ronan’s leg locked over mine, the warmth of their bodies a barricade.
The pastries are scattered across my throw rugs, the box upended. Coffee soaks through a cushion, a spreading stain. I’ve wrecked everything they’ve done for me.
BadOmega.
RuinedOmega.
I’ve made a mess, upset the Alphas, ruined their food, their peace and their morning. Lava-hot claws rip through my gut. My mind slams me back against the cinderblock walls of the facility, to the punishments waiting if I ever did something forbidden. If I dared to fight back from the torture Wallace unleashed on my body.
He would call for Hugo and Lars to fetch me, to remind me of my place. They would snap a thick leather collar around my neck, so tight the buckle bit into my skin, then chain me to the shower wall, wrists bound behind my back.
Hugo always turned on the frigid water, drenching me in seconds. Even now, phantom spikes of ice prickle across my skin as memory rises. I would beg. Gods, how I begged, but it only made them laugh harder. Their laughter echoed off the tiles as I tried to twist free of the spray, only to be pinned by a boot between my shoulders, grinding me into the tiles, my cheek scraping the cold, wet grit.
The water poured over my head, filled my mouth and nose. The collar kept me tethered and helpless. Their laughter circled me, mocking every desperate sound. Sometimes I fought so hard my body just shut off, the world going distant, edges turning gray. Before I slipped under, I would wish not to wake up.
But I always did.
