Page 92 of Ruin Me Knot
I’m filled with nerves when I ask, "How does being bonded feel? What is it like?"
Emma’s eyes light up when she smiles, and I love that look on my friend. "It’s… grounding. Like, there’s a thrum in your chest of safety, love, and want. It’s not losing yourself, Leah. It’s finally being allowed to take up space."
Mira links our fingers. "It’s nothing to be afraid of, Leah. Your bonded Alphas are an extension of your soul. It’s like… coming fully home to your body and knowing you’ll never be alone inside it again." Her eyes catch mine. "You deserve it, Leah. You deserve all of the good things."
Her words root under my skin and their essences drift around me soft and pure and honest. I nod, blinking fast, holding that hope close.
Afternoon drifts toward twilight, and shadows stretch across the flagstones. Plates sit empty, laughter has faded to quiet hums, and we’ve traded stories until the air is thick with old sorrow and new joy, but the peace that carried us through the garden meal is unraveling. Hours have passed. Too many. Concern has become a cold uneasiness that shivers down my spine. There’s still no word from Ronan or Jax. Not from Mira’s Alphas, Adrian and Cole, or Emma’s Asher and Phoenix, either.
I scan the city below, nerves winding tighter with each silent minute. Emma chews her lip, Soren’s hand coming to her shoulder. Mira’s jaw works, green eyes sharp as she watches Zane scroll through unanswered texts.
"Do you think…" Emma voices what we’re all holding back. "Maybe they found something. Or… something happened?"
Chapter Forty-Three
Leah
Zane shakes his head, trying for calm but his voice carries an edge. "They found nothing at the first two locations. Last message said they were heading to the third."
I can’t just sit here while dread builds inside me. The urge to do something—anything—claws at my chest. My mind sprints through desperate what-ifs until a memory slams into focus.
"Wait! Skylar," I whisper, her name catching in my throat. I remember Hardwick’s vicious backhand, and how she made Skylar kneelbeside me at the gala, reeling, off balance, broken. A lump rises, hot and aching, as I look up at Soren.
I hardly dare to ask. "Did Skylar survive that night?"
The silence stretches. Hope tangles with dread in my chest as I brace for loss.
Mira’s answer lands so softly it barely stirs the air. “She’s here. Both Skylar and Aubrey are at the Omega Healing Center, a floor above the labs. They’re getting care, but… Leah, they’re both extremely traumatized. Aubrey most of all.”
My insides twist, sharp and cold. I only glimpsed Aubrey once or twice in Haven’s basement, broken down, forced to crawl on a leash. He still wore the leash at the gala, catatonic, shattered. My gut churns thinking about what he was subjected to over the years.
“I just…Skylar…” My voice shakes. The stillness settles, making it hard to breathe. “Skylar had to help Hardwick experiment on me. She might know something.”
A strange, reckless hope stirs under my skin. Skylar might be the fragile, battered lifeline we need. Regardless of the torment she caused me, she was under Hardwick’s control. The only person to blame is Hardwick.
Soren’s expression darkens as he shakes his head. "The chance she knows anything new is slim, Leah. She’s been helping us, but Hardwick was especially cruel to her. Skylar wants justice as much as we do. She mostly stays here to help Aubrey." His jaw flexes. "Aubrey was broken badly by his pack, especially Axel Turns."
Emma takes my hand and squeezes. "The Turns pack is dead. My Alphas made sure of that."
Soren pulls Emma onto his lap, burying his face against her neck. My heart aches thinking of the needless destruction. Mercer. Hardwick. Turns.
"Can I please talk to Skylar?” I ask. “We were both there. She might have forgotten something that could help. Even if it’s small. Please I… I have to try," I say.
Gabriel kneels in front of me, his big hands engulfing mine with a gentleness that nearly undoes me. His eyes search my face, full of quiet worry. "Are you sure you want to do this, Leah?"
My feelings about Skylar are a snarl of old wounds and fractured understanding. She was complicit in Hardwick's experiments, but only because Hardwick barked her into submission, wrenching away her will with every command. I can't blame any Omega for what they do under an Alpha’s leash. Guilt rests on Hardwick's shoulders alone.
Still, our histories are tangled together by shared scars and trauma. Maybe there’s something in her memory she missed. A detail she overlooked. Something small that could mean everything.
"I want to do this," I say, though my voice is quiet.
Gabriel kisses my knuckles, warm breath grounding me. "You're braver than you know, Leah. I’m so proud of you.”
Bravery deserts me as we file into the elevator that takes us down to the Omega Healing Center. No courage comes when Mira stops at the door of one of the suites and knocks. There’s none to be found when Skylar opens the door and a flood of memories tears through me.
I’m back in that room. The bright, clinical light burning down on me, antiseptic sharp in the air, metal restraints around my wrists and ankles, bones and soul aching with hunger, fear and exhaustion. Hardwick barking at Skylar to adjust the electrodes on my temples or to scribble down notes, fingers shaking as she tried to keep herself together. The way she mouthed silent apologies, her face ghost-pale with her own terror. Sometimes she’d freeze, paralyzed between self-preservation and ruin. She might not have been strapped to a gurney like me, but she was just as powerless.
All those brutal, helpless days crash over me as I take her in. She’s too thin. Fragile and haunted, and just as broken as I am. Past and present collide. Shame, grief, and hope splintering the moment wide open.
