Page 13 of Eldritch
As much as his touch held the power to pull me out of my head, it didn’t change the landscape of our dilemma. We still faced an equation with no solution where Aleysia was concerned.
I felt him smile against my skin.
“You’re trying to ignore me, but I can feel your pulse hastening across my lips.”
Clearing my throat, I lowered my chin. “I know you wouldn’twillinglyjoin Cadavros,” I said, changing the subject. “I’m only curious what the implications would be, if you did, somehow.”
Clearly sensing my resistance, he rolled onto his back again. “At a minimum? Total destruction. As I said, the black flame is an ancient power. It was designed to cleanse. To burn away and begin anew. At least that’s what the annals teach us.”
“And at its worst?”
Brows lowering, he stared off toward the window. “I don’t know. I’ve not explored the full expanse of my magic. It is a door I’ve always kept closed.”
“You fear its power?”
“Any sane man would. It is the most destructive element there is. And unfortunately, I don’t believe Cadavros fears it as much as he should.”
“Which may leave you in the position of leaving, after all. If he’s willing to possess that power at any cost, it would be dangerous for you to stay.” Fresh panic burrowed into my chest as the consequences of such a thing rooted themselves in my head.
He turned toward me, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “In the event it was not clear the first time I said it, allow me to reiterate. I’m not leaving you here alone. End of story.”
If he only knew the relief I felt each time he assured me. How badly I wanted to crawl into his arms and stay there.
But how could I ask him to stay for me, if doing so placed two worlds at risk?
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t do that to him.
“You are the most stubborn man I know.”
“Coming from the most stubborn woman I know, I’d say we’re a fine match.” He slanted his head toward my lips, and I pressed my palm against his chest.
“I don’t think we should…” My body ached with the effort it took to push him away. How badly I wanted to drown in his kiss.
He glanced back toward the bedroom where Aleysia slept and back. “Has she never been intimate with a man aroundyou? While you were sleeping?” he asked, assuming that was my concern right then. Of course he’d presume such a thing. He was the one determined to stay, no matter what.
In his mind, there was no conflict. He’d made his stance clear.
“Even if she had, I’d say the circumstances are quite different.” I lowered my gaze to his chest, picking at a loose string on his tunic. “But that’s not what troubles me. We don’t know what’s going to happen yet and I think we should wait. At least until she wakes.Ifshe wakes.” It was futile arguing with him on the matter, but one, or both of us, would undoubtedly have a hard decision to make. Whether it was him having no choice but to return—regardless of his insistence on staying—or me having to decide what to do if Aleysia wouldn’t wake.
“Clearly, you have no idea how irresistible you are if you imagine I can lie next to you even one night without the longing to touch you.” He rolled onto his back and tucked his bent arm beneath his head again. “How can I convince you that the only thing that could possibly force me away from you is death? And even then, I’d find a way to get back to you.”
“I don’t need you to convince me of that. The fact that you’re here speaks to the kind of man you are. But we can’t control fate. And my heart will not allow me to watch you die to protect me, so perhapsIwill be the one forced to make the difficult decision. For now, I’m only asking that we pause a moment. Gain some clarity.”
His lips pulled into a solemn smile. “I can’t decide if I’m more impressed by your beauty or your logic.” The smile faded as he turned to look at me, and gods, if he only knew that behind the “logic,” as he’d called it, behind the resignation, was a girl who longed to get swept away in the safety of his embrace. Who longed to savor the sweetness of her first experiences with him,without all the chaos and confusion. “It isn’t staying to protect you that’s going to kill me. It’s staying away from you.”
My heart gnawed at my chest. “It’s temporary, I promise.” I gave a quick glance toward Aleysia’s room. “Besides, are you not put off by an audience?”
His brow flickered, his gaze snapping from mine. A shadow of unease darkened his eyes, and it was in that moment that a very grim suspicion twisted my stomach with remorse. As I recalled the scars—the marks of abuse he’d suffered—I couldn’t think of a single reason a man as apathetic and cold as Zevander would’ve reacted otherwise. Part of me wanted to be so bold and cruel as to ask him outright. Instead, I swallowed back the question that lingered like chalk on my tongue. “I’m sorry?—”
“You’ve nothing to be sorry about. You’re right. It was wrong of me to suggest touching you that way.”
Wrong?
In one split second, his whole demeanor had changed. He pushed up from the floor, but I reached out to grab his arm.
“It wasn’t wrong of you to suggest anything. Please don’t get up. Lie with me.”
His brows creased, as if he was torn, but instead, he twisted away from me, stoking the flame again.
