Page 170 of Eldritch
“Try to…well …” My cheeks flushed, the words dying on my tongue.
He shook his head, allowing me to slide down the wall to my feet. “No. Absolutely not.” He flattened his hands against the wall at either side of me, his gaze fixed toward the floor.
“Look at me.”
Eyes screwed shut, he shook his head. “I won’t do this. Not with you.”
His words shouldn’t have struck like a slap to my face, and I silently chided the insecurity that left me questioning with whom if not me. “If you…I understand, if I’m not?—”
His palm gently gripped my chin, guiding my face to his. “There is nothing I want more. But not at your expense.”
“You told me you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, and I believe you.”
“I would not intentionally hurt you, but outside of abstinence, there is no scenario where you feel no pain.”
I glanced down at the bulge in his leathers and swallowed a gulp. “Perhaps not the whole thing, then.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Perhaps not at all.”
“If that isyourwish, I’ll certainly respect it. But know that it isn’t mine.”
“Why the sudden change of heart?”
I wouldn’t dare tell him my reasons, for fear he’d shut down and abandon intimacy all together, but aside from not wanting to hurt him, I selfishly craved more of him. In my world, sex wasn’t meant to be beautiful and passionate. Its purpose was producing children and nothing more. Marriages were arranged and plotted and miserable. I wanted the forbidden. The passion that came with breaking the rules. I wanted panting breaths, clasped hands, sweat across our skin, and the weight of him against me. Whispers of dark pleasures and the promise of ecstasy. “I want to know what it feels like.” In spite of the flushof warmth in my cheeks, I hardened my expression, staring back at him and didn’t so much as twitch when I said, “You defied the gods to have me. You are my mate, are you not?”
He rubbed his hand down his face and blew a resigned breath. “You are relentless.”
“You forgot stubborn to a fault.”
“And dangerously irresistible.” He drew his thumb down my temple. “For you, I’ll try. But if it becomes too much, you’ll tell me.”
I nodded, and he tipped my chin up, his gaze far sterner than before. “Promise me you’ll tell me to stop.”
“I will.”
Nodding, he glanced to the side, the tightening of his brows urging me to look toward where Raivox still stared in on us, his eyes fixed on Zevander.
I cleared my throat, raising the bodice of my dress up to cover my breasts and crossed the room, carefully stepping around the shards of glass on the floor. At the window, I reached through a gap, braving the cold to pat Raivox on the beak. “It’s okay. You can go back to your roost.” I yanked the heavy drapes closed, the thick velvet closing out the wintry breeze. Peeking through a small gap showed he hadn’t moved, his gaze still fixed on the window.
I sighed and turned around to find Zevander standing beside the fireplace. After another glance over my shoulder, I cautiously tiptoed back to him.
A troubling uncertainty claimed his expression, as he slowly unfastened his trousers, pushing them down his muscled thighs, until they hit the floor.
My pulse thudding in my ear was the only sound as I stared back at his naked body. The sight of his piercings stirred my doubts, but swallowing a gulp, I shoved my dress to the floor, kicked it away, and removed the cammyck beneath.
His eyes gleamed with fascination as they drank me in, his chest rising and falling with his hastening breaths. He closed the space between us, hand cuffing his flesh at the same time he bent over me, pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was gentle that time, lazy and soft as he swept his tongue across my lips. Palms gripped my bottom, lifting me up into the air again, his mouth never breaking the seal over mine. For a moment, he held me there, kissing me. “I need to prepare you for this, Lunamiszka,” he said between kisses. “You need to be wet.”
I glanced over at the bed and back. “Should I be lying down?”
“I will not take you on your tormentor’s bed.”
Nodding, I nibbled on my lower lip, my heart drumming frantically.
“You’re certain of this?”
“What is it that troubles you?”
“Aside from the inevitable pain? That I’ll lose myself.” He winced as though he’d already imagined such a thing. “That I’ll lose track of your voice and fail to stop if you command it.”
