Page 35 of Cruelest Kiss and Fairest Blood
I can almost see them around us, deer and birds and rabbits, all the animals I could not save. “I tried so hard. I always try.” Sometimes they are too far gone.
Wait. I blink.It isn’t my imagination. There are animals present. Their spirits settle over the polished oak floor like blue mist in the forest. Harrow spins me around the room as we dance through the ghosts of my past. His thumb brushes a tear from where it’s spilled down onto my jawline.
“They know. They know you tried.” As if in response, a small fox nods to me.
“How?”
Harrow doesn’t answer. Instead, he pulls me impossibly closer and leads our dance.
I prefer this over the jaunty tunes of the ballroom. The tragic loveliness of reality makes me feel like I still fit in this world. We spin, silently, dancing through death. The animals’ spirit forms leave wisps of shimmering blue on our fine clothes when we pass too closely. Dust kicks up where we step. It floats around us, sparkling when it passes by the moonbeams that highlight our stolen moment.
That’s what this is. Stolen time. Borrowed happiness. When I return to the Great Hall, my old self will be lost. It may not be the wedding, but after the formal engagement announcement, my future is sealed. So, I’ll take full advantage of this moment, these last few seconds of freedom before my name, my life, become forever tied to another’s.
“Kiss me.” The words rush out of me. Harrow’s poise falters and our movements cease. For a moment, I think he’ll turn me down. But then, he threads his fingers in my bound hair, tips my head back, and presses his lips to mine.
There’s a rush of wind and the rustling of feathers. My hands are eager as they snake around his neck. I gasp against Harrow’s mouth as my fingertips meet the soft fullness of his wings.
The world ceases moving as my mind spins. Harrow’s lips against me sing to my soul. I sigh into the kiss, dizzy with the need for more. One of his hands moves to my jaw. Every cold touch sends warmth burning up beneath it. It’s as if my blood is chasing his touches, the feeling of his skin against mine.
The kiss sends me to another time, another world even. There’s darkness and stars. The black castle from my memories rises up. Who stands on the balcony? Two figures, lips locked, dancing through the shadows…
Harrow breaks our kiss and the vision is snatched away. What did I just see?
“They’re almost here.” His whisper is urgent. He lifts my hand above my head and spins me. “I will come for you, little raven.”
Spinning and spinning and spinning, the world whips ’round me in a blur of night. One second his strong fingers are tipped in mine, the next, I’m grasping empty air. My feet catch in my skirts, making me stumble, but there’s no one there to rescue me. I tumble into a sheet-covered chaise, slamming to my knees.My skirt hoop jams upward, ramming into my bruised ribs. I want to rip this outfit off and burn it.
“Princess.” Gestin strides through the ballroom doors. “They are looking for you. What are you doing in here?”
He scans the room, seeking a reason for my unchaperoned escapades. A tear slides down my cheek, slipping free from beneath the butterfly mask that has rubbed my skin raw.
“Princess.” Gestin’s voice softens. He offers me a hand. Pitifully, I rise, using his strength to help pull me and my enormous gown up. “It will be alright.”
More tears trail my cheeks. “It’s not fair.” I can only whisper the words. Anything spoken louder is sure to unravel me completely.
He sighs, his broad shoulders sagging. “No, it is not. Duty, honor, sacrifice, it is all easier said than done. But you will not be alone. Your father has chosen to send me with you to head up your personal guard. So at least one familiar face will follow you to your new home. If you have any requests for the other guards in your detail, just speak it and it will be done.”
“Maybe I could just cut all my hair off and disguise myself as one of the guards. I could keep my armor on any time I’m out, no one would know. You can assign me to a position as a labyrinth sentry. Somewhere no one looks. Let me stay hidden until Ebenest chooses a different bride.” Desperation films my tongue like overripe fruit. The words pour out of me on a broken laugh. “I’m pretty good with a sword. Right?”
Gestin’s eyes reveal such sadness, I have to look away.
“Everything will be alright.” His voice is rough, with an undercurrent of emotion. In some ways, Gestin has been more of a father figure than King Roseheart himself. Even if he wanted to help me, he’s sworn to obey the king. Why does it feel like no one is ever truly on my side? “Come.”
A nod is all I can manage. My lips still tingle from the kiss that has crushed me. I’m glass beneath the hefty weight of every oppressive boot from this kingdom to the next. I’m skeletal dust in the gust of a black-winged wind.
“We must get you back.” He offers me a handkerchief.
Dabbing at my cheeks, I pull myself together. Tears are best shed in the presence of the one who owns your heart and soul, the one to whom it was given willingly. And I am owned by no one.
Chapter 13
Lenore
Hungry are the eyes of the rich. Their bellies may be full of wine and roast but their gazes are ravenous for a scrap of juicy gossip. Those alcohol-glazed eyes are fixed on the dais where King Hoff and I now sit, perched in our gilded thrones. I scan the crowd, and with considerable effort, avoid locking gazes with the greedy nobility. I don’t spy Cassius in the crowd, nor Harrow.
My father rises, nodding to Ebenest before switching to look down at me. His face is stern, but I catch the hint of pity in his blue eyes. My blue eyes. The blue they were before my death stripped them of their luster.
It’s been his duty to find me a husband. It’s not like I believe he enjoyed promising me to a man his age. Still, he did not thwart the proposal. Would it be so bad to be a spinster? Roseheart would have no heir. Surely we have some long-forgotten cousin. My father must have been promiscuous in his youth. Maybe there’s some secret, hidden bastard with royal blood flowing through their veins.
