Page 93 of Stay this Christmas
He laughed, the sound tingling through me everywhere we touched. “Nah. I wanted to see if it got a reaction. And I got my answer.” He tickled my side. “Try to keep your desires under control.”
I laughed, tickling him back, and doing my best to ignore the firm muscles beneath my fingers. “Control yourself.”
“Oh, Harps. I am.”
Tucked safe in our hideaway, I just might forget stars even existed.
Looking up at the sight above us, I tried to focus on our reason for coming out here. This really was the perfect night. Constellations shone like a diamond blanket over us, the only sound the fire crackling in the stove. The moment brought more peace than I’d felt in a long, long time.
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
His fingers pressed against my waist, not quite exploring but not quite still. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to come.”
“All you had to say was stargazing.” I tucked my chin, pressing my nose against his shoulder. “And maybe abs of steel.”
A chuckle had never sounded so self-satisfied. “I see how it is.”
“Were the views this good when you were up on mountaintops?”
“Better. But the company was never so ideal.”
I smiled to myself, drinking in the stars. Maybe we were both feeling a little smug tonight.
“A few summers ago, I was climbing in the Tetons during the Perseid meteor shower. Perfect viewing conditions up there. Everywhere I looked, another streak lit the sky. That used to hold the top spot in my stargazing vault. Until right now.”
My heart pitter-pattered in my chest. How could I have ever forgotten this man’s romantic side? He was adventurous and fearless, and could be a flirt-and-a-half, but even as a teen, he knew how to sweep a girl off her feet when he wanted to. As an adult? I’d never stood a chance.
“You’re really laying on the charm.”
“Maybe. I’ve got a lot to make up for.”
A few weeks ago, I would have relished reminding him, but now, enjoying the present seemed a lot better than punishing him for the past.
Except for one question I hadn’t figured out yet.
“Why did you break up with me a month before graduation? You don’t have to apologize again, I’m just trying to understand what went wrong.”
He sighed, his arms tightening around me. “Nothing went wrong, Harps.”
Half a minute went by, and I could almost feel him trying to piece his thoughts together.
“When we spent those months planning our big road trip, I realized I didn’t want to be a mechanical engineer. I didn’t want to go to college, I didn’t want to be tied down to a desk job—I wanted to travel and see all the places on the map.”
“You never told me that.”
He’d loved coming up with ideas for our road trip, but I’d never thought he enjoyed it so much he’d sacrifice college for it.
“I didn’t think you’d be a fan of that plan.”
I stilled, shutting my eyes to block out the stars shining overhead. Guessing at his reasons for eleven years hadn’t prepared me to hear them. He thought I wouldn’t have supported him in his dreams?
“I wanted you to come and see it all with me, Harps. But I was convinced you never would. You had all these plans for yourself that didn’t line up with mine. I was afraid you wouldn’t change them for me.”
My breath sounded loud in the stillness as I fought the tightening in my chest, my lungs squeezed from all sides as I processed his confession. “You could have asked.”
“And if I had? If I’d asked you to give up your college plans and come live the nomad life with me, would you have done it?”
I wanted to tell him I obviously would have, that I would have gone anywhere with him…but I had to face the truth. I opened my eyes as the hurt trying to take hold in my heart again gave way to acceptance. It stung a little, but that didn’t make it less true.
