Page 94 of Stay this Christmas
“You’re right. I wouldn’t have given up college for you.”
I would have wanted to be with him, and maybe I would have considered it for a little while, but I wouldn’t have skipped college and chosen the same path he had. I’d had goals. I knew what I wanted. If he’d told me exactly what he’d intended to do, I still would have gone to Texas State in the end. Even if that meantIhad to break up withhim. That realization brought a strange sort of comfort.
“I’m not trying to put this on you,” he said. “This was all my fault. I wanted to leave, and having no ties back home seemed like the easiest way. It was selfish and short-sighted, I know that.”
“And prom?” If we were going to air the last of our dirty laundry, better throw that one up on the line, too.
“I thought if I dated someone else, I’d get over you faster.”
His breath fanned the hair around my face as my fingers traced lines on his bicep.
“Did it work?”
“Nope.”
My heart might have been the brightest thing in the night right then, shining like a little fireball. “I told myself spending time with you for our lists would help me finally get over you.”
“Yeah? Did it work?”
“Nope. How pathetic are we? Never got over our high school relationship.”
His hand splayed on my back, his fingertips touching the line of skin exposed between pajama top and pants, little radiant points of heat. “So pathetic.”
“We’re probably only fit for each other.”
He turned his head, nuzzling against the side of my face. His breath on my ear made me shudder as I tried to get even closer to him.
“I’m good with that,” he said.
Tangled up with him, safe to say I’d forgotten about our stargazing mission.
“I’m still sorry, though, Harps. If I’d just told you what I wanted from the beginning—”
“Things wouldn’t have been any different. I would have stayed, and you would have gone off exploring.”
The truth of that both hurt and healed, somehow. Understanding I couldn’t have changed our fate, but I also wouldn’t have wanted to soothed those old wounds like nothing else ever had. I’d clung to my plans ever since he took off, thinking knowing the end from the beginning was the only way to avoid more heartache. But that hadn’t worked, and Sam had popped back into my life, upending it in a way I couldn’t have predicted, and now wouldn’t want to give up for anything.
“We could have kept in touch,” he said. “Maybe I would have found my way back home sooner.”
“Maybe. But maybe this is the timing we needed.”
He pressed his forehead to my temple. “I hope so, Harps. I want that.”
“But from now on, you’ll tell me what you’re thinking, right? Even if you think I won’t like it?”
He rolled us so he hovered over me, his fingers in my hair, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. The soft glow of the stars left him in outlines and shadow, but I knew every inch of his face whether I saw it or not.
“I promise, Harper.”
His mouth found mine, echoing that promise with a soft kiss. The give and take set off endless fireworks across my skin, my thoughts tangling and drifting even as I tried to memorize every moment. His fingers trailed over my neck, tracing my collarbone until I shuddered. Those tender touches turned me upside down and inside out, his gentle kisses growing wild as I squirmed against him, wanting more.
He finally drew back with a groan, tipping his forehead to meet mine again. “I think we’re breaking all our rules.”
My ragged breath sounded unbearably loud in the darkness. “There’s still one rule left.”
He brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “We said no expectations.”
“Is that set in stone?”
