Page 112 of Make Mine Sweet
“You’re terrible at distracting people.” I duck my head under the water again.
She swims even closer. “I saw you two at the party. I’ve never seen you look at anyone that way.”
Because I’ve never felt this much for anyone before. That’s the whole point in trying to protect myself. Even if I’m pretty sure it’s too late.
“Both you and August were so happy, Tess. And the three of you together? You looked like a fam?—”
“Don’t.”
She winces at my clipped tone.
“Please,” I say more gently. I know she’s trying to help. But I can’t take it right now. I can’t hear how great things might have beenif only. “It hurts too much to think that way. Just…don’t.”
Wren’s gaze grows sad, but she swims over to join August, Hope, and Griffin.
And me? I let my tears run into the lake water.
THIRTY-EIGHT
IAN
Gettinginto a fistfight with your brother at a family dinner is rude, right? I need the clarification because Steven’s sorely tempting me.
“I can’t figure out what’s gotten into him,” he’s saying to the others.
Amy and Jodi invited the three of us to their house for dinner on the last night before Steven and Iris fly back to Colorado. I thought about hiding out in the duplex, but my former refuge has turned into a brutal reminder of everything I want but can’t have. So I joined them, and I’ve regretted it since I walked in the door.
“He sure had a better attitude at his party.” Steven looks me over. “His scowling is back up to nuclear levels, too.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” I bite out.
“You’ve barely spoken to us tonight. I wasn’t sure it mattered.”
I look away, my arms crossed over my chest like a petulant child. I shouldn’t have come. I’m not in a mood to be around anybody, especially not people who find my bad attitude amusing.
“Ian.” Amy tries to soothe me with gentleness. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Nothing I want to explain, anyway.
The woman I love made a preemptive strike. Ended things before she could get hurt. For her sake, I hope it worked. For mine, well…let’s just say, my heart’s an open wound, and I’m not even trying to stanch the blood.
“You were so happy at the party.” Iris watches me like she’s trying to figure out the best angle to capture my morose mood. “What went wrong?”
Only a fool would say Tess was my sunshine and now that she’s gone, my days are full of oppressive rainclouds. But I am a fool, so…
“We all know heartbreak when we see it.” Jodi opts for a scalpel straight across my flesh.
I want to rage. Tell them it’s none of their business. Pretend my heart isn’t bleeding in my chest. But that road has never taken me very far. And honestly, I’ve lost the fight for pretending.
I sigh, dragging a hand over my hair to tug on the knot at the back of my head. “Tess doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
They seem surprised by this news, as if they didn’t suspect something like it from my attitude these last few days.
“What happened?” Amy wants to know.
I run my thumb over the condensation on my water glass until I catch a drop the same way I caught her tear. “She told me she can’t risk her heart on someone who’s not sticking around.”
It’s all I’ve been able to think about. She’s afraid of seeing in me the ghost of the man who left her pregnant and alone. I want to rail at the comparison, but am I really so much better than that guy? I was ready to tell her I love with no clear plan for a future with her. Just living in the moment the same way I always have. She deserves more than that. They both do.
