Page 67 of One Small Spark
But I’ve become really good at swinging those punches.
Hope doesn’t move, but I can practically see her questions bubbling to the surface behind her eyes. “Changes such as…?”
I do a quick scan of the diner. There’s nobody in here that I’m worried about, but it never hurts to double check in a town like Sunshine. Then again, six nosy women already have their fingers in my personal life like raccoons with a tub of peanut butter. Why not broadcast it to the whole diner?
I clasp my hands on the shiny tabletop. “We might not be as nemesis-y as we used to be.”
The slo-mo excited face Hope makes is exactly why I wanted to meet somewhere public. Yes, I needed a massive intake of fries, but with a crowd, she won’t be able to squeal and jump up and down and whatever else she might do in these kinds of situations.
It’s weird that I haven’t had many of these situations, isn’t it? I’ve dated, of course, but I’ve never reallycaredthat much before now. And even that feels like a lot to admit. Caring? What’s that?
“Specifically, what changed?” She drops her voice for the delicate conversation.
“Specifically, everything.”
“Please give me more information.”
And I do. I spill all the details about what’s happened between Callahan and me from the moment I first walked into book group and saw him surrounded by all those cardigan-wearing grandmas. I tiptoe around his anxiety and panic attack,but I lay out everything else. The kiss. His cabin. His confusing restraint last night. All of it.
By the time I catch up to today, we’re halfway through our burgers.
“Why wouldn’t he kiss me again?” That’s the question that kept me up half the night. Was it me? My breath? Is he a massive control freak who masks it with indifference? What?
His refusal to kiss me could be more proof this is all mind games to him. A way to get me to look dumb and weak. It’s worked pretty well so far, too. First I mauled him in the alley, and then I begged him to kiss me last night. So embarrassing.
That doesn’t really track with everything I’ve learned about Callahan these last couple of weeks. But if it’s not mind games, his rejection leaves me even more confused.
I slump my chin in my hand, toying with a fry. “If he’s just trying to work past this tension between us or something, shouldn’t he go for it?”
Ahem. Like I did.
“Is that what you think is happening?”
Hope’s being all sweet and gentle with me, like she’s talking to August. That’s how much of a mess I am. She has to pull out the little kid voice.
“You think this is just a one-time thing?” she asks when I don’t answer right away.
“It will never be out of my system.”If I hadn’t been so drunk on hiseverything, I might have processed that little declaration more last night. In the stark light of day, the words are like a grenade, blowing my excuses to rubble.
But then I come back to the same question: why not kiss me?
“Is that whatyouthink is happening?” I toss back. Yes, I’ve reverted to begging again already. Please, I have no answers.
Hope lifts a delicate brown eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to know what I think?”
Probably not. She’s swung hints and insinuations about Callahan my way for literal years. I’ve ducked and dodged every last one, pretending they’ve never touched me even when they dug right under my skin. Pretty sure this time, she’s aiming for the bullseye over my confused little heart.
I brace myself against the booth. “Hit me with it.”
“I think you’ve liked each other for a long time.Mutually.” She puts special emphasis on the word along with an arch look.
I snort, even as my traitorous brain pictures that little bird on his arm.
“Yes, you had reasons to dislike him that you now know are wrong…but he’s basically your ideal man. Think about the guys you’ve dated that went nowhere. What were they like?”
“Not the best. My college boyfriend was too clingy and had no ambition for his life. The next guy was so emotional, I never knew which version of him to expect.” I think back. “I guess the last guy I dated was just kind of bland.”
And that brings us up to three years ago. Roughly the time a certain Shepherd Callahan started remodeling the store next door to the bakery.
