Page 68 of One Small Spark
Hope points a fry at me. “Exactly. Shepherd’s their exact opposite.”
“No, he’s…” But I’ve got nothing else. She’s right.
“Shepherd is independent and does his own thing, just like you. He’s a dedicated business owner, so same. You live for his visits to the bakery because you like how he challenges you. He’s funny, too, when you’re not going at each other’s throats.”
It’s wrong to think about how he dragged his nose along my neck last night. So. Very. Wrong. But oh, I need a repeat of that move.
She levels me with a serious look. “And we can’t ignore thatyou’ve been thinking about how handsome he is since he opened up his shop.”
“Handsome.” I stick out my tongue as if the description is all wrong.
Itisall wrong. Sexy. Devastating. Makes my stomach swoop and my toes curl from twenty feet away. Those fit Callahan better.
“Now, something’s shifted between you two,” Hope goes on. “It’s delicate, and you’re both trying to sort it out. Maybe he wants to make sure this fragile thing between you isn’t going to immediately shift back. You have to admit, you’ve been giving him crap for the last two years.”
The truth of this makes me squirm. “Your successful relationship has really turned you into a guru.”
“I’m speculating, obviously. But what guy wouldn’t want to make sure his feelings are reciprocated?”
“You think he has feelings for me?” Man, I sound so pathetic. Begging my friend to tell me if a guy likes me.Check yes or no.But also, I really need an outside source to confirm.
“If the tattoo you described on his arm is any indication?—”
I shush her. I should have kept that information to myself. “We don’t know for sure what it is.”
It could be anything. A goldfinch. A sparrow. A thrush. For all I know, it’s a totally random bird. On his tattoo sleeve dedicated to people he cares about. That he wants me to name because…he’s a creepy dude with low-key control issues? Something.
The dubious smile she gives me quiets my internal denials. “Fine. We’ll ignore the tattoo for now. The real question is, do you have feelings for him?”
I take a huge bite out of my burger. Hope laughs at my obvious stalling tactic but waits patiently while I chew. My thoughts aren’t any clearer once I swallow the bite down.
These last couple of weeks have been emotional chaos, one new thing about Callahan flying at me after another. But each new thing has been surprisingly great. I like and admire him more than ever. Every interaction with him makes me want another.
That’s always been true, even when I thought it was spite drawing me to him.
“I might have things going on in the heart area.” I sound like exactly as big of an idiot as I feel. “For Callahan.”
Hope grins wide. “Did that hurt to say?”
“A little.”
“Does he know you have heart things going on?”
“Like I can tell him that.” I’m not sure I fully realized it until right this moment. How was I supposed to barf all that on him before I knew it myself?
“You could try.”
“I knew telling you would be a problem. You’re in love, and Griffin loves you back. You think that’s the answer to everything.” I bite a ketchup-covered fry, looking around at the diner patrons. “Where are all the bitter and jaded people when I need them? Someone come give me cynical advice about my love life.”
I shiver. I can’t believe I’m claiming spending time with Callahan as alove life. Or how right it feels to call it that.
“I’m not saying you have to tell him everything. But maybe you could try telling himsomething.”
It’s a reasonable suggestion. Anyone not already hardened to being vulnerable with their feelings would do it. But actually trying it is more terrifying than swimming in the ocean and seeing a shark fin.
“Being soft and vulnerable gets your heart broken.” Ask me how I know. “It’s much better to be cool and aloof and full of snarky sayings.”
She reaches out to take my hand on the tabletop. My heart squeezes at that sweet gesture. I’m tempted to call it a night, lay twenty bucks on the table, and scram. This evening is all kinds of too much, and I’ve reached my limit.
