Page 20 of For the Plot
“Hey." It came out way too breathy after running around my room like a chicken with its head cut off.
James smiled, raising a brow at me. “You good?”
I took him in, his tan, ribbed-knit polo tucked into black slacks. “Oh, you know. Business as usual.”
“Ah, yes. Do this often then?”
“Psh." I waved a hand. “Of course. I hook up with my friends all the time.”
We both broke into laughter at that, and some of the tension eased between us. I opened the door wider, waving him into my room. He walked in, looking around and taking everything in, like he hadn’t been in here plenty of times before.
I chewed my lip, leaning back against the closed door as I watched him. The room was dead silent, and I felt like if I made a noise, everything would come crumbling down around us.
James turned to look at me, and when he saw how tense I was, his whole body softened as he walked towards me. “We don’t have to do this, NikNak. I can help you figure out some other way to get past this writer's block.”
I was already shaking my head before he finished speaking, “No. No, I need to do this. Iwantto do this, I promise. I’m just… I’m nervous and awkward and—”
“It’s ok.” He reached out, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. The breath shuddered out of me as the tips of his fingers grazed my cheek. He planted that hand on the door next to my head, leaning in closer until all I could feel was the heat radiating from his body. “Where do you want to start?” he asked, his voice low, my eyes stuck on the movement of his lips.
I tried to speak, but nothing came out. His scent—some mix of sweet with an undercurrent of sharp and spicy—clouded my brain. I gulped, trying again. “I, uh, I don’t know. What do you think?” My gaze drifted back up his face until I met his eyes, heat blazing in them.
“How about this?” He moved his hand back from the door, sliding it into my hair until it cradled the back of my head. He waited for my nod of permission before continuing, his other hand coming to the side of my face, using his thumb to tilt my chin up until my mouth was angled towards his.
And then, ever so slowly, he leaned down to me until our lips were touching. It was a whisper of a sensation, the softest brush of his lips against mine before he pulled back the slightestamount. Just a moment, before going back in again, firmer this time. And then all at once, he was kissing me.
His lips moved against mine, warm and soft and sure. The kiss was slow and sensual, and I found myself slowly beginning to reciprocate until I was fully kissing him back. My hands rose up until they were resting at his waist. He hummed in approval, and then, feeling brave, I dragged them up his sides until they were sliding up his chest. He moaned into my mouth. The sound went straight to my core, and I clenched in a combination of surprise and arousal.
The kiss turned fiercer and I felt him lick at my lips, seeking entrance. I opened my mouth to him, and then his tongue was sweeping into my mouth. The first thing I noticed was the rich flavors of coffee and chocolate. I melted further into him at the taste. That bastard knew mochas were my favorite; he must have drunk one right before coming in here.
I felt his smile against my mouth and I knew he knew exactly what he was doing. And that was when Jamesreallystarted kissing me. His tongue dove into my mouth, stroking along my own as he angled his head to kiss me deeper. The hand that had been cradling the back of my head changed to grip my hair instead, pulling it just enough for the slightest sting, sending tingles scattering across my scalp, and a whimper escaped my throat. How he knew I found that soothing was beyond me, but I was too far gone to question it. In turn, I slid my hands from his chest up and around until they could dive into his hair. It was thick, and so soft.
I had never felt so turned on by a kiss before. It wasn’t butterflies—or at least I didn’t think so, since I didn’t know what they felt like. I hadn’t been sexually attracted to anyone before, and I still wasn’t attracted to James now. But something about the comfort of this moment allowed my mind to relax enough for me to simply enjoy the act of kissing itself. In a place I wasfamiliar with, with a person who made me feel safe, one of my favorite flavors on his tongue.
I was so lost in the moment of it all, getting wetter and wetter, that I didn’t notice his hand was sliding up my thigh. All at once I felt his cold fingertips brush up and across the outside of my thigh to the inside. I gasped into his mouth in surprise at the unexpected, unfamiliar sensation. My heart pounded furiously in my chest, and I faltered against his mouth, my hands slipping from his hair.
His hand paused for a moment before fully retreating from my thigh, coming to rest gently on my waist instead. I tried to keep kissing him as I had been, putting my hands on his waist in return, but my mind had begun to wander, thinking about what would come after the kiss. And then my heart began racing for a whole different reason, as I began to panic at the thought of taking it from kissing to actual sex.
As my body slowly began tensing against my will, my kissing faltered again, and James pulled back, brows crinkled as his eyes scanned rapidly across my face. “Nikki? What’s wrong? Are you OK? Did I do something you aren’t comfortable with?”
My heart soared at the concern he felt for me, how his first and immediate thought was to make sure that he was wrong and hadn’t crossed any of my boundaries. I smiled shakily at him. “It’s OK, I’m OK.”
“You don’t seem alright,” he replied, examining me closer. “You’re stiff as a board and flinching while I kiss you. Please, just tell me if I did anything wrong. I have to know you can communicate with me if we do this and that you'll tell me to stop if you want me to. I know you’re nervous about this, but we still need to make sure we’re communicating.”
James was right. I needed to be able to communicate what I did and didn’t like, to keep both of us feeling safe and cared for. “I just wasn’t expecting your hand, and it was colder thanI expected, and then I couldn’t stop thinking about your hand traveling higher and what would come after that and I just—”
“Shhh.” He shushed me soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “It’s OK. Nikki, we don’t have to have sex tonight.”
I pulled further away from him, voice shaky as I asked, “You’re changing your mind again?”
13
Nikki
Physical - Olivia Newton John
“No,”herushedtosay. “No, I’m just saying, why don't we stop and make a plan for what exactly you want out of this, and how many times you wanna get together.” I took a deep breath,relaxing at his words. “I promise, I’m in this with you. I just want to be as comfortable as possible. I want you to enjoy this as much as I know I will.”
The words washed through me, calming the sting that had already begun. James wasn’t rejecting me; he was just trying to move at my pace. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his chest, letting him wrap his arms around me, rubbing his hands in soothing circles on my back.
