Page 33 of For the Plot
Collins’s smirk dropped. “Eh, it was fine.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing really. I mean, we hooked up.” He shrugged.
“But?”
He shrugged again, taking another bite of his taco and averting his eyes.
“Collins?” He didn't usually shy away from discussing his hook-ups. “You know you can tell me anything, man.”
Collins sighed. “I wasn’t just looking for a hookup, you know? I feel like I’m finally at the point where I want a real relationship.” He shook his head, taking another bite before continuing. “But she didn’t want that I guess. Right after we hooked up, she was done with me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. It’s not like Ilikedher or anything. I mean, shit, it was our first date. It’s just…”
“The rejection of it,” I supplied, when it seemed like he couldn’t finish the words.
Collins nodded, a crestfallen expression on his face. I’d learned a few things about ADHD over the past four years, and this was one of them. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria, it was called. I’d seen it in both Collins and Nikki. Even though hehad only gone on one date with whoever this person was, their rejection of him still stung more than he’d ever really want to admit. It didn’t matter who it was, or what the perceived rejection was, it hurt just as bad every time.
“I’m sorry, man, really. I get it." And I did, even if it wasn't to the same extent, but I did understand it on some level. The idea of rejection was terrifying, and I avoided it whenever I could by not rocking the boat and just floating through life instead.
“It is what it is,” he smiled at me, more genuinely this time. “I’ll get over it soon, I always do.”
Mybackwasfuckingkilling me, and I did not want to be here anymore. I was only halfway through my shift, but it already felt like the longest night ever. The bar was way too packed for a random Thursday night in September.
We’d had rowdy college kids in and out all night, harassing the bartenders, starting fights, throwing drinks. I swear, half the night I’d been two seconds from walking out the door. It was days like these that made me question if I really was content with my life as it was. Did I really want to be a bartender forever?
I used to love it. The excitement, the people, the variety in my days. Maybe I was just getting too old for this shit. Rolling my head around on my stiff shoulders, I finished up the drink I was making, forcing a smile back on my face as I turned back around to give it to the waiting customer. They shoved a five dollar bill in the tip jar, and I gave a quick nod in appreciation.
A break in the crowd showed three familiar faces walking towards me, which was the only thing preventing me from throwing down my apron and bolting. I placed my hands on the edge of the bar, leaning forward once they reached me so I could shout over the noise at them. “Finally! I was about to walk out the door and never come back.”
“Damn, that kind of night, huh?” Will reached a hand over to bump my fist, and I returned the gesture, greeting Collins the same way. My eyes met Nikki’s bright blue ones and a jolt went through my body. She bumped her first against mine, and I tried to ignore the zing that shot right through me the moment her skin touched mine.
“Oh yeah,” I sighed, slumping against the bar in front of them. “Remind me why I chose a job where I have to interact with people again? I hate people.”
“You know, I wish I could tell you, but it’s beyond me as well,” Will mused.
“How long you guys staying tonight?” I asked, shaking up one of the drinks. I swear I could see Nikki staring at the tattoo on my forearm exposed up to the elbow by my shoved-up flannel. I made sure to flex a little extra as I shook the drink.
“Sorry, man, can’t stay long tonight. My shift starts tomorrow morning,” Collins replied.
“Woooow, prioritizing your livelihood over your friendships? I thought I knew you, dude.” I shook my head at him as I set their drinks in front of them.
“I know, right?” Will exclaimed. “It’s like he doesn’t want to be homeless or something.”
“Such a fake friend.” Nikki nodded along, hmphing at Collins. She took a sip of the drink I had just set down for her, and I watched, spellbound as her eyes closed in pleasure at the taste. I reached down to adjust myself as subtly as possible, thankful for the bar blocking me.
“So rude,” Will said, tsking at him.
Collins pointed his finger between the three of us. “Yeah, definitely not liking this ganging up on me.”
“Oh, don’t worry, we still love you,” Nikki reached up to pinch his cheek, but Collins slapped her hand away with a glare.
“Since when do you take James’s side?” He narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between us. My stomach dropped out, positive that he knew something was going on, until I realized there was literally no way he could.
Nikki winked at him, “Somebody jealous?”
