Page 60 of For the Plot
“Alright, I guess we’ll let you get back to work. But James?” I looked up as Will spoke. “You’re our friend. You’re not losing any of us. You got that? It would take a lot more than this to be rid of us.”
They each pulled me into a hug before leaving, and I slumped back into my chair.
God, I wished he was right.
35
Nikki
This is What it Sounds Like - HUNTR/X
Iwaslyinginbed in the dark when my door banged open. I didn't turn to look at whoever it was, assuming it was Will or Collins was trying something else to get through to me. ButI didn’t want to do anything besides wallow in my own pity, missing James and hating myself.
“Goddamn, Nikki, this is depressing as fuck.” Noah’s voice cuts sharply through the room, footsteps storming towards my window. I sat up in surprise, pulling my blankets up with me and wrapping them around my shoulders as I leaned against my headboard.
“Noah?” My voice croaked out of me, and I cleared my throat before speaking again. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” She ripped open the curtains, letting the sunlight stream into the room, slicing into my darkness-adjusted eyeballs.
“Shit, why the fuck did you do that?” I yelled, covering my eyes.
“When you stopped coming to family dinner and didn’t answer my texts, I just assumed you were hyperfocusing on drafting and forgot about the world again. That’s on me for not being a better sister and checking on you.” Noah’s voice was matter-of-fact, but she was my twin sister. She couldn’t hide the pain underneath her words, and for the first time in weeks I felt something other than apathy. My heart panged at the fact that I’d hurt her by shutting her out.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Noah came to sit next to me, pulling me against her until my head rested on her shoulder, gripping my hand tightly in hers. “Thank you.” Her response was flat but warm with her particular brand of love. “When Will finally texted me saying he was concerned about you, I came here as quickly as I could.”
“I swear, I’m fine,” I protested weakly. “Will was just overreacting.”
“He was not. You smell terrible, your room is an absolute mess, and you're living in darkness like some vampire from a terrible teen drama.”
“Rude,” I mumbled.
“But true.” I didn’t have a response to that. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” Noah forged on, practical as ever. “You are going to take a shower, because you desperately need one, and then we are going to talk about what happened.” I was going to argue, but then I caught a whiff of myself and realized just how right she was. I nodded, not having the spoons to respond.
Once I was in the shower, the tears came. Partly for how badly I’d fucked my life up, partly because I didn’t realize how badly I’d needed the soothing feeling of hot water pounding into my skin, how badly I’d needed to feel clean.
By the time I got back to my room, it was almost completely clean. The dishes and trash had been removed, dirty clothes put in the hamper, new sheets were on the bed, and random shit that had been scattered around the room neatly lined up on my nightstand, dresser, and desk, waiting for me to put them away wherever they belonged. I began crying again for a different reason.
Without saying a word, I went straight to Noah and squeezing her tightly, feeling like I could breathe again for the first time from the pressure of her arms as they squeezed me back. Noah stood there silently, rocking me in her arms for as long as I needed. I had never felt more grateful to have her in my life.
When I was ready, I pulled back, grabbing a tissue to blow my nose before sitting on the bed, leaving room for her to sit next to me. And then I told her everything. How I had freaked out on James, all the awful things I’d said to him, him moving out.
After I finished speaking, Noah looked at me for a moment, and then she smacked me upside the head. “Ow!” I exclaimed, rubbing the back of my head. “What the fuck was that for?”
“Because you’re an idiot.”
I dropped my jaw, indignation flaring. “I thought you were here to cheer me up!”
“I never said that. I said I came here to check on you, and obviously not soon enough, because you fucked up big time.”
I sighed, "I know. I know you said this idea with James was going to blow up in my face—"
“That’s not what I mean,” she interrupted me. I furrowed my brows at her. “I mean, you did fuck up with James. But you fucked up by letting him go, not by starting this in the first place.”
“But you told me that it was a bad idea. And then you told me to be careful. I thought youwantedme to stop hooking up with him.”
Noah sighed, looking up at the ceiling like she was praying for patience, before she spoke again. “God, you’re so dumb sometimes, Nikki. I told you to be careful because I could tell you were falling in love with him, and I didn’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t think you were going to go around and hurt Jamesandyourself instead.”
