Page 62 of For the Plot
I waited in the living room for Will and Collins to get home. They'd left before Noah came to give us some privacy, though Collins, of course, called conspiracy theory on Noah even being real.
As soon as they walked in the door and saw me sitting on the couch, they ran to me and scooped me up into a three-way hug.
“There’s our girl!” Collins exclaimed.
Will looked like he was on the verge of tears himself as he squeezed my hand. “Welcome back, Nikki.”
I looked up, blinking the tears back in. Even if these were happy tears, I’d cried enough today already. I pulled away from them, taking a deep breath.
“So, I want to get James back.” I smiled as they whooped and hollered, relieved to know they seemed to want us to be together, too. “And I need your help.”
36
James
Ordinary - Alex Warren
“James?”Sashapushedthedoor open and peeked her head in. I was lying in bed, scrolling on my phone and trying not to think about Nikki. I wasn’t doing a very good job of it.
I sat up. There was a twinkle in her eye that had me suspicious. "What is it?" I asked hesitantly.
“You have a visitor.” Sasha grinned at me. “I’ll be down in the office, give you guys some privacy.”
My heart leapt in my throat. It couldn’t be… could it? Sasha left the door open for me before heading downstairs, but I sat frozen, heart pounding. God, I wanted it to be her. Finally I gathered myself and walked out into the living room.
Nikki.
Fuck, I had missed her so much. Just the sight of her was equal measures a balm to my soul and a sharp pain that had me feeling like I couldn't breathe.
She was sitting on the edge of the couch, leg bouncing, fingers twining around each other as she chewed on her lip. She was wearing that damn lemon dress, and my heart hurt at how beautiful she looked.
There was a flare of something in her eyes as she looked at me, making me want to be hopeful. But I wouldn’t let myself. Not yet. As much as I was overjoyed to see her, the last thing she had said to me before slamming a door in my face echoed in my head.You’re nothing but a distraction.
But fuck if I didn't still love this woman with every fiber of my being.
“Nikki,” I breathed her name.
She stood up to meet me as I slowly moved towards her, coming to a stop a few feet away. She gave me a tentative smile. “Hey, James.”
“What are you doing here?” My gut clenched as she flinched at my words. But I needed to be careful here. I had no idea why she’d come to see me. For all I knew, she just wanted to tell me off some more.
She seemed to falter at my words, before steeling herself and speaking. “I need to apologize to you.”
I still refused to get ahead of myself. Not until I truly knew what she was getting at. But I nodded my head, stepping further into the living room, and sat in the loveseat catty-corner to the couch. Nikki seemed relieved, sitting back down and angling towards me so our knees brushed. The slit in her dress exposed her leg halfway up her thigh, leaving her knee bare. I fought the chills that wanted to run through my body at the touch, as innocent as it was. Her skin on mine would always make me feel something, no matter the context.
I forced myself to look away from her thigh, my mouth going dry with the sight. “I’m listening.” My words were quiet. Not unkind, but still reserved.
I watched her as she swallowed, wanting nothing more than the trace the motion of her throat with my fingers, with my tongue.
“I first need to say that I’m so sorry.” Tears were already welling at her lashes, and I forced myself not to lean forward and brush them away with my fingers. “I was horrible to you, and there is no excuse for all the things I said. I was overwhelmed and spiraling, and my reaction was to lash out and shut down. I never want to hurt you, but that’s exactly what I did. And I hurt myself, too.” She let out a humorless chuckle.
“I promise, I will do better at regulating my emotions. The truth is, I’d already been barreling towards a depressive episode, and everything happening was just making it worse, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it, so I just shoved it down. But I’m going to go back to therapy. I’m going to work on myself. I want to be better. I want to have the tools to express myself, to help myself in those moments.”
“That’s great, Nikki.” I gave her a soft smile, and she looked relieved. Like she thought I could truly hate her. As if I ever could.
“I’m sorry for the things I said to you.” She closed her eyes, looking down in shame. “For slamming the door in your face. I wasn’t just overwhelmed, I was also terrified.”
“You were scared? Of me? Nikki, just because you don’t love me back—”
