Page 58 of Jaime
The driving instructor was a portly, middle-aged woman with thick-rimmed glasses. She looked totally unthreatening, but I still felt a wave of panic at the amused smile she gave me.
“Uh, yeah, I’m Jaime. Sorry.”
“It’s fine, hun. I’m your instructor, Magda. You’re supposed to get in the driver’s side though.”
Duh, I thought. I could be so stupid sometimes.
“I’m sorry,” I said, flushing with embarrassment.
“It’s okay. You were so quick, I didn’t even have a chance to get out,” she laughed, opening her door.
I followed her lead, climbing out, face still red hot as we traded spots.
Suddenly, I was sitting behind the wheel. My entire body froze.
“Alright, click in your belt first,” she said. “And I’ll ask you a couple questions to begin.”
Magda’s easygoing voice helped a bit. She didn’t seem worried at all.
“Have you driven at all yet? Or is this your first time?” she asked.
“Uh. First time,” I choked.
“Okay, that’s not a problem. Do you feel confident about the signs and rules?”
I nodded shakily.
“Alright, there’s no need to be nervous. We’ll take it nice and slow to start. Maybe we’ll just go around the block.”
She must have noticed the tension in my body, because she was speaking like I was a scared little animal, ready to bolt.
“To start, we have to take stock of everything around us,” she said.
For a few minutes, she showed me where I wanted the seat and mirrors to be positioned. Then she took her time explaining all the different functions, even the most basic ones, like the gas and brake pedals.
When she told me how to start the car though, everything changed.
It was like something had wrapped tight around my ribcage, slowly constricting me.
“Grab onto the wheel where I showed you,” Magda said, not seeming to notice.
I did, trying to force air in. Just a few deep breaths would fix me. But I couldn’t get them.
I threw open the door, in a sudden panic that escalated as I scrambled out of the car because I was suddenly sure that the gear wasn’t set in park. I’d left her in the car and it was going to roll with no one even driving it.
I spun around and found the car sitting firmly in place, Magda watching me with wide eyes. Behind her, the Woos were standing on the porch now, not hiding their curiosity as I nearly fell to the pavement.
I had to grip the cold edges of the door frame and sink down to the rough road on my knees before any bit of sense seeped back into me.
In a strange, abstract kind of way, a very calm, disinterested voice told me to relax, that nothing bad was happening. I heard it, knowing that was true, but I was unable to do anything but wait for my vision to clear.
I didn’t know how long it took, but when the spots started fading, Magda and the Woos were standing nearby, talking quietly.
I lifted my head, too tired to feel embarrassed.
“Here,” Mr. Woo said, offering me a bottle of water.
I took it weakly, somehow managing to open it and take a sip.
