Page 20 of A Spinster for the Rakish Duke
It was Donovan's turn to be thoughtful. “Is it obvious that you wouldn’t want something like that? I think it would have been fair for me to assume otherwise.”
“Mr. Connor, now it’s your turn to tell me what you’re insinuating,” Emma practically huffed.
“Not to be too crude, but that letter you sent me, a while back before the ball. Well, it revealed to me exactly how creative you are. Or perhaps it was all just suggestion,” Donovan posited, clearly teasing her.
“Donovan,” Emma hissed between her teeth. Even in the dark, Donovan could see how red her face had become. “After I invited you into my room, you go and try and embarrass me.”
“Embarrass you?” He smiled. “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t bring it up, but it comes to mind from time to time, the letter. It had a passion that seemed so atypical of you but putting you in that light is something that comes a lot easier to me now,” he confessed to her.
Emma looked uncertain, wavering back and forth, emotions playing across her face in the dark. “Mr. Connor, if this is your attempt at a compliment, I am finding it confusing at best and off-putting at worst.”
Donovan shook his head. “I’m sorry, Miss Bradford, this is all coming out all wrong. I meant that my assumption that you weren’t as sensual as the letter insinuated was not just wrong but incorrect of me to make. You are a powerful woman with a... sensual aura,” he said, and it was his turn to look away. “You should be proud of that. That is all I wanted to convey.”
“Oh,” and that was all Emma said for a while before she followed up. “Mr. Connor, I want to ask you a question. It is a question that might prove a touch... troublesome, but if you could answer it truthfully for me, then I would appreciate it.”
Donovan looked uncertain but then nodded to Emma. “Anything I can do to help, I want to do for you. No matter what,” he said confidently, the sureness and determination in his voice putting a small smile on Emma’s face.”
“Very good. Now, for my question,” Emma took a deep breath, as if to prepare herself. “Do you find me appealing?”
“Appealing?” Donovan asked uncertainly.
“Attractive. You spoke of the letter yourself. Is it the contents you find appealing, or is the person behind them what is important?” Emma asked. The question struck Donovan as slightly odd, but when he heard no playfulness in her voice, he knew it was important to give a straight answer.
“Miss Bradford, as I was trying to tell you before, the contents of the letter are very, ahem, flattering. But it is the view of the person before and in context to your very interesting letter, not the letter itself. Of course, I find you attractive. I wouldn’t have responded in the way I did otherwise,” he explained.
“You mean you wouldn’t have kissed me?” Emma asked.
Donovan shook his head. “Believe it or not, Miss Bradford, I don’t make a habit of kissing most women I meet.”
“I’ll choose to believe,” Emma said with a smile that quickly faded. “It’s a shame, you know, that the timing worked out the way it did. I think I would have really liked to have kissed youagain,” she admitted. She almost instantly regretted saying it. She believed the words, but the regret lay in the harm the words could cause. It was salt in the wound for both of them to know what could never be.
“You don’t still want to kiss me again?” Emma could see Donovan’s wry smile, even in the dark. He was smiling widely now.
“I think it best I don’t answer that question,” Emma said, her voice growing even quieter.
“Doesn’t that sort of answer the question, then? Not saying anything at all, I mean,” Donovan observed.
“I cannot answer that question, Mr. Connor. For I believe lying is a mortal sin, but I also believe it is terrible for a woman to be disloyal to her fiancé. Please,” and her voice was truly pleading, “don’t put me in a position between my morals.”
Donovan stood and strode over to her. He leaned heavily against her chair; his imposing size loomed over her. It didn’t make her feel endangered though. In fact, quite the opposite; she wanted to embrace him and have him hold her close.
He continued to lean in, his breath on her flesh. She felt, or thought she felt, the trace of his lips on her forehead. Suddenly Donovan's weight shifted away, causing the air around Emma to feel cool. “I’m sorry,” he said tiredly. “Neither of us is in the right place in our minds to talk right now. I should try and go back to sleep.”
Emma’s voice caught in her throat. She wanted to ask him to come back. To hold her, to touch her. But it was fear that gripped her, that held tight to her voice. She wanted Donovan so very much, but fear of so many things kept him away now.
As Donovan departed, he stopped in the doorway that led into the darkened hallway. The predawn lighting made the darkness seem even more all-encompassing than it had been a short time ago. He turned back to face Emma. “I hope you sleep well, Miss Bradford,” a pause and then, “I, too, am disappointed with the timing of everything. I am, however, still glad we got to meet, regardless of the inopportune circumstance.” And with those words he departed.
Despite the uncertainty that surrounded their late-night conversation, Donovan and Emma both slept better for the sake of it. Each of them realized that sometimes it’s not what you hear that calms you, but who you hear it from.
Chapter Fifteen
“Yes?” Emma called groggily and stifled the poor mood that greeted her this morning below the surface.
“Miss Bradford, there is a man here to see you,” Mr. Herst called through the door, rather hesitantly. “He seems very insistent about seeing you as well as... quite put off,” the young man informed her.
“A man?” Emma asked confused. Then, realizing that Herst probably had little more to tell her, she called out again, “I will be out in just a moment. Thank you, Mr. Herst.”
Emma dressed quickly, her mind searching over and over for who could be waiting for her. The only men she knew in London were here with her already or missing. And the only other men she could think of outside of that were the husbands of her sisters or her father. But none of them should be anywhere near London at this time.
