Page 116 of Falling Like Leaves
Only this time, I had all the information—I knew how Cooper felt, and I knew he was scared I’d ditch him again. This time, hebegged me not to go. He wanted to work through what was happening together. But I did it, anyway. Ibroke himanyway.
I don’t blame anyone for hating me.
In a U-shaped hallway, it’s nearly impossible to avoid Cooper, but I keep my eyes down. In class, I give him space. I don’t look his way, but I know he’s moved to the back of the room with Chloe, where he used to sit when he was avoiding me.
I haven’t fixed my hair. I haven’t put on makeup. I haven’t slept, and I can’t eat. I’m a walking breakup song, and I don’t even care.
I’m at my locker on Friday, getting my books to take to the library for lunch period, when Jake stops and leans on the locker next to mine.
“Hey…,” I say. We haven’t spoken at all this week, and I don’t know what to say to anyone at this point. I moved seats so I’m not sitting by him in class anymore. If people feel like they have to choose sides, I know they’re on Cooper’s. I didn’t want to make him feel weird or guilty about that.
“You look like shit,” he says.
I lift my eyebrows in surprise. “That… is true. But it’s still a really mean thing to say to me.”
“Sorry. I’m just saying, you look like shit. Cooper looks like shit. Can’t you two just look like shit together?”
“No.” I close my locker. “He would very much like to look like shit as far away from me as possible.”
“He’s being an idiot.”
“No, he’s not. I shouldn’t have left him like that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have, but you were upset,” he says.
“I hurt him.”
“Okay, but you’re here now,” he says, “and from what I hear, you’re staying.”
Am I? I still don’t have a plan. At the moment, I’m just trying to survive my whole world crumbling.
“It doesn’t matter. He hates me.”
Jake sighs, exasperated. “Helovesyou, Ellis. He’s loved you since he was fourteen.”
Tears prick my eyes instantly. I should have told him I loved him the second I felt it. Instead I threw it all away.
I can’t respond—not that I even know what to say—because if I try, I’ll cry right here in the Bramble Falls High hallway. Jake must see it on my face because he pulls me into a hug.
“You two will get through this,” he says quietly.
I nod even though I know that ship has sailed. “You better get to lunch before someone sees you fraternizing with the most hated person in town.”
He lets go of me. “Fuck that. I’m going to the library with you.”
“Um, why?”
He shrugs. “Because you’re my friend.”
A tear escapes the corner of my eye. I hurry and wipe it away. “Stop making me cry, asshole.”
Jake laughs. “Sorry.” He takes my books and carries them for me as we head toward the library. “On the bright side, if thingsdon’twork out with you and Cooper, you’re in luck because no one else has scooped me up yet. I might consider giving you a second chance.”
For the first time in a week, a laugh flies out of me.
I link arms with him. “Too soon, Jakey. Too soon.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
