Page 59 of Under the Texas Sky
I shake my head and blush. My dick is appreciative of the jealousy in Trent’s voice. “What about you and Hunter? Did youfuck Hunter? Did Hunter top you?” I shouldn’t ask, because knowing is going to piss me off. But the sinister part of me has to know before I let him anywhere near me.
“He was my boyfriend…”
Well. Hello, little green monster, how are you? I knew I shouldn't have asked.
“But only him and you,” Trent adds.
Skrrt.Play that back. Rewind. What the heck ever.
I should have demanded an explanation aboutthat nightbefore I jumped into this again. Stupid heart wanting Trent and not caring about the repercussions.I take a step back from him this time. The remembrance of the pain and agony I felt after watching that video. Knowing that his words now and his words then were a lie.
“This was a mistake. I need to go.”
He doesn’t let my hands go, and his eyes soften with pain as he stares at me. “Please, don’t go, Kian. Don’t run away from me. Not again.”
I see red.
“Again.Again.Do I need to remind you that I saw a video of youwith someone else.It’s never been ‘just me,’ because you–” I yank my hand away from his and shove my pointer finger into his chest. “You cheated on me,” I hiss out. “I saw you with your lips pressed against someone else. Someone that wasnotme. And the title of the video–BEST AMATEUR BLOW JOB.”
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to let him see them fall. I was so freaking dumb to think that anything would be different. I thought I could forgive the past, but I can’t.
No matter how much I love Trent, no matter how much I want to be with him, I can’t forget the past. I can’t move on and let him love me again. Because I won’t survive the heartbreak a second time.
“Kian, please let me explain. I can explain everything,” he pleads.
I turn my eyes away from his, knowing that I can be sucked right back into his web of deceit with those dark irises. “No, Trent. I don’t want you to explain. I want you to let me go.”
Trent’s grip on my hand completely disappears, and even though he’s doing exactly what I asked, I hate it. Ihatethat it’s come to this. It always comes back to this. I thought I could look past it, I convinced myself I could. But thinking something and actually doing it are two vastly different things.
“I’m not going to force you to listen, but please.Please.Give me a chance to explain.”
I step away, watching his crestfallen face as tears stream down it. My heart cracks in my chest, and I can’t stand here any longer, because I’ll continue to hurt him. I’ll think I can move past it, but I won’t be able to. A messed up merry-go-round that never stops spinning, never letting me off and dragging out my suffering until I’m a husk of the person I used to be.
“Goodbye, Trent,” I say. Then I do what I do best: I run away.
CHAPTER 50
TRENT
Can Karuna not afford a better chair than the one I’m currently sitting in? Week after week, I come in here, and this cheap-ass chair is still here. I stare across the desk at Karuna. Her eyes are on her notepad while she hastily scratches something down. Probably the name of a new book box she found online. That’s why she and Hunter got along so well. He supplied her with all things books, and she told him what books she liked so he could make sure to stock them.
Fuck, not only am I going to have to tell her that Hunter and I broke up, but I’ll also have to tell her Kian is back. I mean, not like back-back, but he is still here taking up more space in my mind than usual. That’s my own fault. Inviting him to stay and watch a movie with me was a recipe for disaster, but the sick part of me needs him. It always will.
“So…” she says, trailing off, the same as she does every session. After the first year of us working on my issues, it’s really made it to where it’s more like friends catching up rather than me spending hundreds of dollars on therapy for someone to try to fix my life for me.
She’s just a really, really expensive friend.
“Sooo,” I draw out, trying to stall the inevitable bad news that I’m about to plop down in her lap. We’ve made so much progress since I first started seeing her, but I’m starting to fall back downthat dark hole, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to claw my way out of it again.
“Tell me what’s new.” She says this sweetly, but it has that authoritative tone underneath it meaningthe only way you can get through your shit is if you actually talk about it.Karuna would never say that, though. No matter how much the temptation is there for her.
“You know, just the usual. Busy working, trying to find a hobby, being an adult. It’s very taxing.”
She quirks her eyebrow, silently calling me out on my bullshit. “The usual, huh? Nothing new with Hunter or Mitch?”
My heart squeezes in my chest, not because I miss Hunter, but I do feel awful about the way things ended between us. “Well…”
“You and Hunter broke up,” she deadpans, and my jaw drops.
