Page 81 of Under the Texas Sky
Kian’s eyes widen, but I don’t let him say anything. I need to get this out before I hear what he has to say. I have to say it while I have courage.
“I don’t remember the video or going home with him. I woke up in his bed, and I thought he was nice enough to let me crash at his place. That wasn’t the case.”
“Trent.” Kian’s voice trembles and tears leak out of the corners of his eyes.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Kian. I never should have gone to that bar. I should have gone straight to Mitch’s. I loved you so fucking much, and I will regret that night every day until the day I die, because I know it’s the reason I lost you.”
He shuts me up, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss is salty, both of our tears cascading down our faces in twin rivulets. Our pain is too strong to be held in.
His tongue tangles with mine and all of the feelings I’ve been feeling pour out of me and directly into him. My need. My want. My disappointment. My love for him and only him. The same boy I fell in love with in science class. The same boy that stuck by my side even when we had nothing. The same man who is sitting in front of me now, taking in my pain and holding me through it when I deserve nothing from him.
We kiss and kiss until my lips are swollen and I’m gasping for breath. He lies on top of me, pressing our fronts together, andholding me down against the bed as he keeps his lip against mine. The curls from his ponytail fall loose and curtain our faces, keeping the two of us in this sacred place where we can just be us.
“I want to beat the ever loving shit out of that guy,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Hey, hey. There’s no need for derogatory words. Or for violence. He’s out of my life. I’ve moved on thanks to lots of therapy.”
Trying to make light of the situation doesn’t work when Kian is staring down at me with wrath in his eyes. Not for me, but for the person who hurt me. Who hurt us.
“I’m serious, Trent. It would have been hard to forgive the kiss, but we wouldn’t have missed out on two and a half years together if it hadn’t been for that piece of crap.”
“You could have forgiven me for the kiss?” I ask, in shock. Because I thought that alone would have been enough to push Kian away. But to know that we could have worked through that sparks anger deep inside of me. I have to breathe to fight the sensation because no matter what I wish, I can’t change what happens. I can only control what happens to me from here on out.
“Of course, I would have forgiven you. It would have taken a lot of groveling and lots of chocolates, but we could have worked through it.”
He’s using past tense now. Does he still not want to work through it?
“And what about now?” I ask.
“Now, we’re still going to work through it. I don’t expect as much groveling, but I still expect some. And I guess the chocolates you brought tonight were a good sign of faith as well.” he teases, his green eyes the same color as emeralds. The most precious jewels staring right back at me and making me feel like a peasant under their attention.
“You still want to be with me? After everything?”
“I want to be with you because of everything. You’re my soulmate, Sunshine. And without you, I am a shell of a man. I need you with me. Pushing me to be my best self. Cooking me dinner when I don’t feel like doing it myself, and watching TV with me on the couch after a long day. And most of all, I just need you to love me and to always be honest with me. It won’t be easy, but heck, it’ll be worth it.”
CHAPTER 64
TRENT
18 years old
It’s the day I’ve been waiting for and dreading at the same time. The humid air warms my skin until my hairline beads with sweat. Why does graduation always have to be outside during one of the hottest months of the year? They could have at least held it inside, in the air conditioning, so we don’t sweat through the cheap polyester gowns they gave us.
The cap on my head isn’t any better, but they allowed us to decorate it this year, so I shouldn’t complain too much. I can’t wait to frame mine and Kian’s and hang them up side by side. Proof of our accomplishments, no matter how much the odds were against us.
I silently flip off my mom and Kian’s parents. Fuck them for not seeing us and truly loving us like parents should. Parental love shouldn’t be conditional, but that’s okay. I have Kian, and I’ll always have him.
His love isn’t conditional, it’s absolute. It’s absolute in the way that only Kian knows how. Our love is all-consuming, and every day I wake up, I’m grateful that of all the choices I’ve made, he’s been the best one.
Mitch drove us here and he’s sitting somewhere in the stands. I’m in the middle of a row, between two jocks talking loudly about their plans for the after party. The ceremony started thirtyminutes ago, and we’re still working our way through the boring acknowledgements of the school board members and all the teachers who represent our class. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
My attention is solely focused on the cap that matches mine in the front row, the hint of yellow against his black robe. Honors, because my boyfriend is a genius, and he deserves to be finally recognized for how much time and effort he’s put into school. He’s sitting up front with all the smarty pants of our class, and he even had to write a speech. I think it’s good, personally, and not because I helped him rehearse or because I’m biased. He’s the best, and anyone who doesn’t think so can fuck right off.
His parents moved away after that night when I picked him up on the sidewalk, and my mom couldn’t give less of a fuck about me if she tried. We don’t need them here to celebrate, though, since we have Mitch. And we have each other. That’s all we need.
“We’re going to start by announcing the honors graduates. Please hold your applause until the end,” our principal says into the microphone, the sunlight glinting off his bald spot. About damn time.
The students line up and wait for their names to be called. Kian’s curly hair is neatly tucked into a low ponytail to keep it out of his face while he reads his speech.
