Page 95 of Under the Texas Sky
“He’ll be doing the same tonight. He’s already started.”
???
One quick shower, keeping our hands off each other while we’re trying to get dressed, and two extra strength tylenol later, and we’re ready to go. Trent looks mouthwatering, and if it weren’t for me already worrying about what Mitch would think, I would demand Trent pose so I can take pictures of him. He’s the perfect model to try out my camera on.
“You’re going to model for me when we get back, just so you know,” I tell him, staring up at him from where I’m sitting on the couch gawking at him.
He smiles, showing off the gap between his teeth. He’s wearing a dark gray henley, with the sleeves rolled up his forearms, showing off his tattoos. Specifically the one of my eyes, and I want to trace my tongue across it and eat him up. Those aren’t appropriate thoughts before we go over to Mitch’s house though. His jeans are glued onto him, the tree trunks he calls legs somehow fitting in the tight blue material.
“Quit staring, or we’ll be late.” Trent bends over and kisses me on the crown of my head, running his fingers through the curls I just put product on.
“Your hands are going to be sticky. You better wash them before we go. We don’t want Mitch getting the wrong idea,” I say.
His laughter is loud, and echoes through the house, filling the space with the joyous sound. I want to bottle it up and store it away so I can have it whenever I want.
He goes to the kitchen to rinse his hands, and I take in the space in front of me. How much has transformed in a small amount of time. Our shoes are sharing racks by the front door, a mix of Converse, work shoes, and a pair of kitten heels I got for my photo shoot next month.
I haven’t asked Trent to go, because I’m not sure if I’ll back out like I’ve been doing. But I want to go, not because I want to model, but because I want to show Trent the world. He deserves to have adventures and experiences, and I want to be the one to supply him with them.
There’s framed pictures of us on his mantel. Collages of our polaroids, a picture of us at graduation, pictures of us with Mitchthat we took on self-timers. It’s a story of our life together, and there’s still so much space waiting to be filled.
His closet is full of my clothes, and I don’t even know why I keep the hotel room when it’s about as useless as condoms at a convent, but sometimes we hang out there instead of over here.
It feels like we’re really dating this time, getting to know each other and our hobbies and interests. Different from the first time we were together when we were two kids who put their faith in each other. But now, we’re healthier. We have friendships outside of each other, we have communication skills we didn’t have before, and most importantly, we have the knowledge of what it’s like to be apart.
And that’s the driving factor that keeps me working on myself more than anything. I know what it feels like to lose Trent, and I never want to feel like that again.
If I have to go to therapy every day to work through my issues to make sure we have a chance in this life, I will. I will work however hard I need to just to make sure I can have Trent in my life.
He comes back into the living room, sitting down beside me and pressing in close enough I can smell his aftershave. He’s keeping his stubble, but he makes sure to shave the stragglers. I would have never thought it before, but I love the stubble lining his cheeks. It gives him a distinguished man look. Which is what he is with all the different businesses him and Adam have invested their money in together. He’s grown a lot since I left, and I love seeing the happiness on his face knowing that he’s doing what he loves now. Even if I don’t always understand it.
“Do you want to go to California with me next month?” Smooth. Very smooth. Not exactly how I planned on it coming out, but I guess there’s no time like the present.
“California, seriously? What are we going to do there?” he asks. The excitement he’s trying to hide is charming.
“Well, there’s lots to do. We could go to Disneyland, the beach, the Hollywood sign. You know, just be typical tourists.”
There’s a crap ton of other stuff to do, but the main thing I want to take him to is a poetry night. The lineup is full of queer poets, and I want him to do something that he loves. He’s always loved poetry and writing, and I know he says he journals now, but I want to be able to give him the inspiration to be himself.
“Yeah,” he says.
“Yeah?” I question back, parroting his response.
“Yes! Of course I’ll go with you.” He tackles me onto the couch, my back meeting the cushions and his full weight crashing on top of me. He kisses all over my face and neck before coming back to my face and worshiping it with his mouth.
“I love your freckles,” he says against my face, kissing my cheeks. “I love your smile.” He traces my mouth with his finger, and I nip at it. He pulls it away laughing. “I love your determination.” My smile slowly drops as awe takes over. Because this man loves me, not just for how I look or because of our history. “I love your snarky attitude and your obsession with photography.” He loves me for me. Not what I can provide for him, but for what’s inside.
“I love you,” I say, pulling his mouth to meet mine in a flurry of emotions. “I love how strong you are. How you always take care of me. Your dedication to the things and people you love.”
Trent rests his forehead against mine, sharing the same breath, and I know I could live forever in this moment.
CHAPTER 73
TRENT
“It's about fucking time you two got here. I already ordered the pizza. I was so hungry, I was about to wither away,” is our greeting as soon as I open Mitch’s door.
The hallway to the living room is covered in mine and Kian’s achievements, and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to truly take in what is lining these walls. They’ve just always been here, like the hole in the wall in our old bedroom where I accidentally tickled Kian too much and he fell off the bed, putting his foot through it. We moved the dresser in front of it, just in case. It’s not just pictures, though, and Kian leaves me behind to go to Mitch while I get sucked into a trance.
