Page 44 of Sunrises & Salvation
I delete the chat. And just for good measure, I open up his contact and block him.
Opening my messages, I click on Thomas’ name and thumb out a quick message.
Hunter:I had a great time tonight :)
My stomach roils, and I hunch over the bushes in front of my dorm building. I dry heave, praying that I don’t throw up all the food I just ate. A sense of wrongness washes over me.
I ignore it, brushing my arm across my mouth and clearing the trail of drool that escapes, I walk into my dorm building with my head held high.
26
ADAM
When I woke up alone in my bed, I thought for sure Hunter was just an early riser and hanging out somewhere in my dorm, waiting for me.
He wasn’t. He left me, without a note or a goodbye. That was a horrible way to start my morning, and the pathetic sadness I felt was a constant reminder of it throughout the day. I didn’t pay attention in my classes. I didn’t have the energy to fake enthusiasm when my friends came over.
The most energy I could muster was texting Hunter. He probably thought I was insane when I kept texting with no response, but I was desperate. Miserable as I watched all of my messages go unread and the clock ticked later and later.
He never texted me, and this morning, when I texted himagain,no response. But worse than the no response was the green bubble that popped up, not blue like it had been sending.
In a moment of weakness and idiocy, I text Danielle.
Adam:Have you heard from Hunter?
Danielle:Yeah, he texted me last night. Why?
Fuck, why was I texting her? She had been suspicious last night when I was all but shuffling her out of my dorm, but I can’t tell her about Hunter. Not yet. But I will.
Adam:He left his notebook in my car, it looks like it’s his note for Physical Science.
Danielle:I’ll swing by and get it after class, we’re meeting at the library.
I can’t let her come here, because I very obviously do not have a notebook of Hunter’s.
Adam:Is it cool if I meet you there and I’ll bring it with me? I have some studying I need to get done as well.
Danielle:Sure, third floor bay 5. Bring snacks though, I’m hungry.
Showing up at the library with an old notebook of mine is not my finest moment, but I’ll do whatever it takes to see Hunter. I need to see him, to lay my eyes on him and make sure he’s okay. Because if he is okay, why didn’t he come over after his date? Why did he go radio silent on me?
The library is closest to Hunter’s dorm, and that explains why he’s here so often. I swore after the first time I happened to see him that it was just a coincidence. That coincidence turned into walking across campus to the library just to get a glimpse of him.
I won’t be walking out of this library today without an explanation. He said he would give this thing between us a chance if I promised to tell Danielle, and I will tell her. Soon.
Fuck. This is the worst because not only will I be keeping a secret from Danielle, I’ll also be keeping a secret from Hunter. I could solve the problem if I told Danielle. But my problem is, I don’t want her to know. I want to keep this thing between me and Hunter just between us, until I can put into words what’s actually going on inside my head.
I don’t even know what’s going on in there; all I know is that I want Hunter. Danielle would understand, because Hunter is the easiest person to want to love. And she’s my best friend, aside from Brittany, and even Brittany doesn’t know our relationship is fake. If Danielle slips up, even accidentally, it would send my whole world crumbling.
I approach Bay 5 with my bag of snacks for Danielle and Hunter, and the notebook securely tucked under my arm. Here goes nothing.
I push the door open, and there are three people in the room. Danielle, Hunter, and Thomas. Thomas, who took Hunter on a date last night.MyHunter.
“Thank god, have I mentioned how amazing you are?” I hand her the bag and take the open spot at the desk. Beside Danielle and in front of Hunter.
His head is tilted down while he looks at the notes scribbled on a printout of a slideshow. He avoids my eyes as I sit, as I set a pack of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies in front of him. They’re not his mom’s homemade ones, but I thought they would work in a pinch. Turns out, he’s not interested in anything to do with me.
“Did you bring Hunter’s notebook?” Danielle asks, and Hunter’s eyes snap up to hers. He opens his mouth to call me out on my bullshit lie, but I beat him to it.
