Page 53 of Sunrises & Salvation
Kissing on the couch while watching movies, dancing in the dim kitchen lighting, nights spent with hushed whispers. I ache for it.
I fill Hunter’s cup with water, staring at the clear liquid, taunting me to take a sip. I want to, the need to prove that I can control my surroundings and my past can’t hurt me anymore.
I bring the cup to my mouth, ignoring the slight droplets that splash over the side from how hard I’m shaking.
It’s fine. I’m not going to be hurt from one small sip of water. It’s no different than something from a bottle. Except when I hear the crack of the lid on the bottle, I’ll know it hasn’t been tampered with.
The cool crystal touches my bottom lip, and I inhale deeply through my nose. Breathing through the panic.
“Hey.” Hunter’s voice stuns me, and I spill water down the front of my shirt.
“Shit,” I hiss, setting the glass on the counter and whirling around to see Hunter staring at me, his brown eyes twinkling in the light.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, rubbing his hands up my chest and pulling my shirt away from my skin.
“You didn’t,” I lie through my teeth.
“Good.” Simple. Easy.
“I told them that I wasn’t feeling well, so I was going to lie down. They were talking about their o-chem lab again.” We haven’t discussed the sleeping arrangement. The couch folds out into a bed that Hunter and I shared last time, and I wouldn’t mind doing it again. The past few nights he’s been spending at my dorm room have been the best nights. Fewer nightmares, and I’m sleeping fully through the night. It’s changed my whole outlook on life when I’m not permanently tired.
His presence alone soothes me like no other.
The problem is Thomas. There’s a loveseat that he could sleep peacefully on, but I’m sure that we’ll run into rebuttals for why he and Hunter should share a bed. Not on my fucking watch.
“What did they say?” I ask, salivating at the thought of getting him alone, if even for a few minutes. Earlier doesn’t count because I was on the edge of a cliff, grasping for him, and not fully able to appreciate him.
“They waved me off.” He shrugs, and I look at the abandoned water glass on the counter. “Take that outside to Danielle and then come inside.” Hunter has done a one-eighty since he agreed, without words, to give me a chance. I’m just waiting patiently for him to get rid of Thomas. No matter how much I hate to admit that I now know how he felt when I told him I would have to hide him away.
He’s been putting it off because he doesn’t want to do it right before Thomas has a test; he doesn’t want to hurt him. I understand that college is hard enough on its own, but to be broken up with right before midterms is rough. Not that I would know, I could only imagine.
“What should I say?” My mind is on one thing, and if I go out there now, there’s no telling what I’m going to say. I still need to talk to Danielle about me and Hunter as well. It’s all a cluster fuck, and I cannot be trusted with my own mouth right now.
“Just tell them you ran into me, and you’re going to watch a documentary or something while I fall asleep.”
I nod, pressing a kiss to the scar on his upper lip, and take the water outside to Danielle before I lose my momentum.
They don’t even notice when I set the cup beside Danielle or fumble my way through my excuse to stay inside. They’re too focused on their discussion of retrosynthetic analysis.
Hunter is lying on the couch, a throw blanket covering his body and tucked under his chin. I don’t hesitate, I slide in front of him, tucking my back to his chest. He covers me with the blanket, holding me tightly to him.
I exhale deeply, loving the feel of us in our own little bubble.
“What documentary do you want to watch?” he whispers into my ear, pressing a kiss to the shell, and I shiver.
“I don’t think I want to watch a documentary,” I murmur, rubbing my ass against his crotch, feeling his hardness.
“What do you want to watch?”
I turn over until our faces are pressed closely together. I run my nose against his, and then across his cheek. Pressing a kiss to the warm skin, I nuzzle my body closer to his. He wraps his arms around my back and I mirror him, clutching his back in my palms.
“Can we just lie like this? Just for a little while?” Hunter brings out a softer side of me, one I didn’t know existed. One that wants to be comforted by him and him only.
“Yeah, we can.” He kisses me, a slow press of our lips together. We have all the time in the world for deep, sensual kisses. This is different, and the slow, measured movement brings tears to my eyes. He’s not rushing me or trying to change me into something I’m not. He’s happy with me, just as I am.
“My nanny took me to an art exhibit once,” I murmur quietly when our lips part.
“How was it?”
