Page 26 of To Love a Monster
Chapter Ten
Nikolai
The bar smells likecheap whiskey and desperation.Not the kind that screams.It seeps.Slow and sticky.The air is thick with fryer grease and old sweat, humid with the remnants of spilled beer and breath that’s been passed between too many mouths.It clings to my skin and seeps into my clothes like something I’ll never scrub out.Laughter spills from a table near the jukebox, shrill and synthetic, a sound born from watered-down cocktails and people trying too hard to forget they exist.
Some twangy country heartbreak wails low in the background, crooning about loss and pain like it knows a goddamn thing.I sit in the corner booth with my back to the wall and my eyes on the exits.One hand is wrapped around a sweating pint I have no intention of drinking, the other is scrolling through a cracked burner phone.
I came here to clear my mind a bit, to put some distance between myself and Lila before I lost control.I saw the whole interaction from the darkness of the trees.From when she noticed him and when she smiled, to the head tilt and the way she tucked her hair behind her ear like she didn’t even realize she was doing it.I’ve memorized every tell.Every involuntary twitch that gives her away.
That particular one?She does it when she’s nervous.When she’s interested.And Carl saw it too.He leaned closer to her like he’d earned it.Like proximity made him worthy.Like he was anything more than disposable.My jaw tightens at the memory and I clench the beer glass just to feel something other than anger.
He looked at her with slow hunger, let his gaze trail down her neck, linger at her legs.And she,fuck, she laughed.
Not the laugh she gives strangers.This one was quieter, almost sincere, like she let him in for a second.He doesn’t deserve that.Not her voice, not her time, not the curl of her lips around a grin that should’ve been mine.
After that, I made sure that Carl disappeared back into his cabin before I left and checked in on Lila only to be sure that she was safely tucked inside, painting and getting on with her day.Then I decided to just give myself a screen break.But now I’m finding myself itching to watch her again.
Eventually I give in and decide to watch the video feed.There are no lights on and no movement.My stomach drops, sharp and sudden.Like the floor’s been ripped out from under me.I freeze, eyes locked on the grainy screen, willing it to shift.To flicker.To show me her silhouette moving through the living room or the studio or the kitchen.
But there’s nothing.I slam the phone down, feel my pulse against the cracked screen.My vision blurs and everything is white noise and fire.A consuming need.I came to the bar to let these feelings settle.I left the woods because if I watched her any longer I’d have ended him for simply standing too close.But now there’s no movement.No silhouette, no Lila.Just the excruciating quiet.
I shift forward in the booth, one knee bouncing under the table like it’s trying to outrun what I already know.My jaw ticks and my vision pulses.The chair skids hard across the floor and I leave the pint behind, untouched.
The cold night air doesn’t cool the heat under my skin.If anything, it just sharpens it.Makes it jagged.My boots hit the asphalt hard as I stalk toward my bike.Where the fuck is she?I scroll through the cameras again as I walk, but each frame is the same.Her porch light is out, the curtains are all drawn, the inside is too still.I check all the timestamps to make sure it’s streaming in real time.Refresh the screen, but nothing changes.
The ride back is a blur of wind, tension, and the low growl of the engine.When I reach her house, it’s as I expected, completely cloaked in darkness.Locked and empty.I do a full sweep, window by window, door by door, like a soldier returning to a battlefield he’s already claimed once before.But there’s no broken glass, no scuff marks and no sign of a struggle.Which means she left on her own.And there’s only one place she could’ve gone.The name is bitter on my tongue.
Carl.
I cut through the trees between empty houses like a blade carving through soft flesh.My body moves without asking permission as I reach the tree line near his cabin and tuck myself into shadow.She’s in leggings and one of those oversized sweaters that hangs too wide at the neck.It slides down her shoulder like an invitation.
She’s glowing in the lamplight.Warm, golden, and soft.Like she’s truly happy and content in his presence.But it’s a fucking lie.I pull my phone out and type before I can think better of it.
What are you doing, little lamb?
I watch her check it and smile before her fingers fly across the screen as she types back.
What you told me to.
The air in my lungs turns to flame, hot, slow, and suffocating.At first, I just stare.Reading the message once.Twice.A third time.Like the words might change if I blink hard enough.And then it hits me.She’s going to do it.She’s actually going through with it, going to let him touch her.She’s fuckingchallengingme.
My fingers tighten around the phone so hard the case creaks.My jaw locks and my muscles coil, blood pulsing like a drumline in my ears.Because she’s not just disobeying, she’s taunting me.Testing me.Dangling her throat in front of a wolf just to see how sharp his teeth are.Just to see if he’ll bite down hard enough to draw blood.
She wants to know if I’ll break, wants to see if she can make me lose control.She fucking will.I can feel it fraying at the edges, unraveling one breath at a time.My hand trembles as I type the words back.
Don’t you dare.
But even as I hit SEND, I know it’s already too late.Because in her mind, she’s already unzipped him.Already decided to use his touch like a weapon aimed at me.And I feel it, that sick, violent twist in my gut.Jealousy doesn’t cover it.What I feel is pure, untamedrage.It’s the kind of possessive fury that makes monsters out of men.The kind that has me seeing red as I picture her spread out beneath him, and makes me want to wrap my hands around his scrawny fucking neck.I want to tear the door off its hinges, rip the roof from the house and drag her out.Remind her that She.Is.Mine.
She wants to test me?She’s about to learn that obsession doesn’t wait.It devours.
