Page 33 of To Love a Monster
And if that makes me broken, if that means I’ve stepped off the cliff into madness, then I hope I never crawl my way back to sanity.Because being here, wrapped in his arms, heart still pounding from his mouth on my body?It feels like the only truth I’ve ever known.
Chapter Thirteen
Nikolai
She breathes in soft, rhythmic pulses, lashes twitching against her cheeks as if caught in some gentle, haunted dream.My hand hovers above her hip, not pressing, just absorbing.Memorizing.The curve of her waist, the way the blanket barely clings to the swell of her ass, the slope of her spine.She’s like a painting I’ll never deserve, a life I never thought I’d want.But I do.I want her.
Her arm is draped across my chest, fingers curled into the muscle.Her legs are tangled with mine, her breath warm on my ribs.She doesn’t stir when I shift, doesn’t flinch when I press a kiss to the crown of her head.
She should be afraid of me—she was—yet now she’s tucked against me like I’m safety and not the monster that forced his way into her life, pushing one boundary at a time.
I never meant to touch her.I was never meant to be more than a ghost in her walls, a shadow in the tree line.But then she looked at me with those storm-swept eyes.I was hooked.And now that I’ve tasted her, experienced every inch of her, I know I’ll never be able to let her go.
I look down at her sprawled across the sheets, tangled and bare, skin still kissed with the bruises of her surrender.Her lips are parted, still flushed.
I brush a strand of black hair from her cheek, careful not to wake her.If she knew how often I watched her sleep with my pulse roaring, wanting, needing, she’d run.Or maybe not.
It’s clear to see that she’s as drawn to the monster in me as she is to fear itself.She craves the part of me most would push away.That’s why she pushed when I went silent.Why she tested me.Provoked me.She knew I was still watching, and she wanted me to snap.
If she didn’t want the beast, she never would’ve gone into Carl’s house just to fuck with me.Never would’ve stepped into the lion’s den with blood on her tongue and a dare in her eyes.No.She may look like innocence, wide-eyed and trembling, but she’s not the little lamb she pretends to be.
A vibration cuts through my thoughts.My phone.My body goes rigid when I see that there are three missed calls from Matteo.Fuck.I shift carefully, untangle myself from the sheets and slip out of bed.I move like a shadow, dressing in silence.She stirs once when I tuck the blanket back over her shoulders and lets out a soft sound, fingers brushing the mattress, reaching instinctively for me.
I stare at her for a moment longer, then slip out of the room.I step outside, pull the door shut behind me, and call him back.He answers on the second ring. “You called?”
“More than once,” Matteo says, voice low, clipped.“Is everything okay?”
“No,” I mutter, jaw flexing.“Something’s off.I’ve been keeping an eye on a man who’s been trying to insert himself into Lila’s life.Name’s Carl.Supposedly a neighbor.Claimed he was connected to someone named Jake, said he visited the property when he was younger.Judging by Lila’s reaction and their initial conversation, it didn’t add up.”A pause.I can hear the faint clicking of a keyboard on his end.Matteo’s at his laptop now.
“Carl, you say?”Matteo repeats.There’s a shift in his voice, something subtle and sharp, like a blade being unsheathed.He mutters, mostly to himself.“Hold on...”More keystrokes.I know he’s digging into the original file I put together before I came here, the detailed landscape of the lake town and its people.The file that was meant to help me identify potential threats with surgical precision.Every home, every business, every resident within five miles of Lila’s cabin.
He’s verifying whether I missed something.A few seconds later, I hear the click of a file opening.Matteo’s tone shifts again, colder now, clipped.
“This is the report you built before insertion, correct?”I hear my phone buzz and see that he sent the attachment through.I glance at it once to confirm before replying.
“Correct.”
