Page 57 of To Love a Monster
Chapter Twenty-One
Lila
Isit curled into thecorner of the couch, my eyes flicking from the window to the door and back again.My phone’s on the coffee table next to the files we’d just gone through.Nikolai’s been gone for less than an hour.
I breathe in, out, and repeat.Trying to calm myself but every tick of the clock feels louder than the last.My fingers twitch and the mug in my hands is still half-full of cold tea.
It’s fine.I’m fine.I tell myself this over and over again.Nothing is happening tonight.We’re just going to prep everything.Come up with a strategy.Nikolai said Carl wouldn’t make a move until tomorrow.That tonight was just for baiting the hook, not triggering the trap.
I try to redirect the spiral.Try to think like him, cold, clear, and calculated.He said I’d be safe, that the perimeter is tight, that the cameras are up.That no matter what happens, he’ll see everything.
Still, something inside me won't settle.I set the mug down and stand.Maybe I just need something a tad stronger to take the edge off.
Wine.Yeah, now that sounds like a plan.I’ll have a glass of wine, take a deep breath, and maybe listen to some calm music.
I move toward the kitchen, the floor creaking beneath me.I reach for the cabinet where I know the bottle is, already picturing the soft glug of red liquid into glass.And that’s when I hear it, a knock at the door.
It’s not loud, not frantic.Just three soft taps.The sound cuts through the cabin like a blade and my whole body locks.My hand freezes on the bottle of wine.My heart feels like it’s stopped as the knock sounds again three more times.There was no lead up to it.No wind, no footsteps before it.No sound of a car pulling up outside.Just...
“Lila?”a voice calls from the other side, smooth and familiar.
I swallow, every muscle in my body tightening like a wire pulled too tight.He shouldn’t be here yet, he was only meant to come tomorrow night.My hand is still wrapped around the wine bottle and I set it down carefully, like it might shatter if I move too fast.My fingers are trembling and I press them flat against the counter, trying to breathe past the sick twist in my stomach.
He knocks again, harder this time.Like he already knows I’m standing here, like he can smell the fear.I force myself to breathe.Sure, it’s not part of the plan but if he’s planning to strike tomorrow night then maybe he’s just coming by to set the trap.To make plans to see me tomorrow, like what I was going to do anyway.This isn’t going one hundred percent according to plan, but I can’t let my nerves show and risk him becoming suspicious.So I walk over, put on a big smile and turn the knob.
He’s standing on the porch like he owns the air around him.His shoulders are relaxed, one hand is tucked into the pocket of his tailored jacket and the other is holding a bottle of red.The smile on his face is easy but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
They’re darker tonight, almost sharper.Watching me like a vulture watches a rabbit that doesn’t know it’s already bleeding.His posture is casual but there’s a tension underneath.A stillness that makes my stomach twist.“Sorry to drop in unannounced,” he says, voice honey-warm.“Thought I’d catch you before the day slipped away completely.”
Remember the plan.I tell myself.Act normal.Keep him talking.Be who he thinks you are.His face appears the same.Same disarming smile and the same perfectly disheveled hair.But something’s different now, like his energy is slightly off.
“Oh, Carl!Hi,” I say, and my voice doesn’t even shake.“I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“Couldn’t wait,” he says.“Thought I’d have you try this new wine I picked up and see if it’s something you like.”He lifts the bottle slightly, cradled like a gift.“Also wanted to ask if you’d be up for supper tomorrow night.Just two friends having a good time.I’d really like to get to know you better.”It’s said lightly, very casually.
My mouth moves before my brain catches up.“Oh, that’s great.”Every instinct in me is screaming to not let him in but I step aside anyway, forcing my lips into something that looks like a smile.“Come on in.You can open it up and I'll grab the glasses.”
Before I even finish my sentence, he steps inside like the place belongs to him, like my invitation was a formality he never needed.His eyes flick over everything, fast and practiced.A quiet sweep of corners, windows and shadows.Not admiring, but assessing.
