Page 58 of To Love a Monster
Then he veers straight into the kitchen and opens the drawer next to the sink, pulling out the bottle opener as his gaze lands on the baking tray by the stove, taking in the burnt rosemary and blackened chicken.“You smell that?”he asks, his tone light, but there’s something sharp glinting underneath.“Burnt rosemary?”
I freeze, just for a second, then nod.“Dinner went to hell earlier.I completely forgot it was in the oven.”
He lifts the tray slightly and peers down at it.The skin is crisped to a deep, flaked charcoal.He smirks and lowers it again.Then casually reaches for the wine and pours it into a glass without waiting.“That’s a lot of food for one person,”
I shrug, forcing a casual tone.“I was going to have it for supper and then leftovers for lunch tomorrow.”He hums low in his throat, like maybe he buys it.Maybe not.Either way, he doesn’t press.
He takes another glass down from the cabinet, one for me, and pours wine like we’ve done this a dozen times before.He swirls it once, then holds it out to me.“Here,” he says.“Try it.I think you’ll like it.”
I hesitate but only for a breath, then I take it, fingers brushing his for the briefest second.I don’t sip, just nod and hold it.He takes a long drink as he turns and asks, “Mind if I sit?”
I shake my head, and he moves past me to the living room, slow and deliberate as he sinks into the couch like he’s settling into his favorite chair.
My hand tightens around the wine glass like it might anchor me in place before I float out of my own skin.Then, while his back is turned, my fingers slide to my phone on the counter.I keep my body still, as still as possible, my expression neutral as I type out a quick message.
He’s here.
I hit SEND but there’s no confirmation.That’s when I see that there’s no signal bar.Shit.
Then I see Carl freeze as his gaze drops to the table, his eyes landing on the files I forgot to clear.He tilts his head, brow furrowed with vague interest and he reaches down, opening one of them slow and casual, like he’s flipping through a takeout menu.
I try to see which one it is, but he slips a photo out before I can get a glimpse.Tucks it between his fingers then drops the folder back onto the table like it bored him.He settles his glass on the coffee table and stands, turning enough for me to see that he has Jake’s photos gripped in his hand.
My throat closes and I glance down at my phone again but there’s still no signal.I switch to airplane mode and back again but there’s still nothing but dead silence.Then Carl chuckles, it’s a low, rolling sound, like he’s enjoying something far too much.
“You can try texting him all you want,” he says, holding the photo between two fingers like it’s a joke, “but Nikolai won’t be getting shit.”I don’t speak, don’t move as a smile spreads across his face, sharp and unkind.“It’s a little trick I picked up in Morocco.Portable jammer.Covers most basic signals within a thirty-foot radius.”He taps the side of his coat pocket.“Nikolai’s not the only one who knows how to fuck with tech, you know.”
I finally find my voice but it feels thin and fragile.“What do you want from me?”I hate that he can hear the fear behind it.My pulse thrums in my ears and I can feel it everywhere, my wrists, my throat, the center of my spine.
He knows about Nikolai.He’s standing in this room with a goddamn photo in his hand.And if he really jammed the signal...Then that means Nikolai probably doesn’t know he’s here.That thought alone nearly knocks the air completely out of me.If he doesn’t know what’s happening, then I’m alone.Really alone and royally screwed.
Carl doesn’t answer as he steps closer, closing in as he holds up the picture like it’s a playing card.“So,” he says, tilting his head slightly, “what do you think of this?How do you like my handiwork?”My stomach drops and I don’t answer.The blood in my veins feels too loud, too hot.
He chuckles softly.“I don’t usually get my hands dirty, you know.Not part of the job description, at least not mine.I’m more of the ‘observe, infiltrate, extract’ kind.Clean and efficient.Paid for silence, not mess.”He glances at the photo again, his mouth curling at the edge.“But that one?”His eyes flick up and meet mine.“That one I enjoyed.”
He doesn’t wait.“You know what I remember most about Jake?”he asks, voice dropping.“The sound he made when I broke his jaw.It was like solid glass cracking underwater.”
I swallow, bile rising.
“He fought,” Carl continues.“I’ll give him that.Even after we started on the girl, he tried to crawl to her.Couldn’t see out of either eye by then, but he still moved.Still begged.”He pauses, eyes gleaming like he’s replaying it in his mind.
“We had her strapped to a chair.Duct tape, zip ties, the usual.Pretty little thing.Big eyes.Looked like she thought it was a prank until the first hit landed.After that...”He whistles low, almost impressed.“You should’ve heard the noises she made.Panic and pain and wet-throated sobs.Like a dying rabbit.So fucking raw.”He smiles, slow and sharp.“Loyalty like that?Very rare.It was almost a shame to see it go to waste.”
“You’re a fucking lunatic,” I whisper.The words barely make it past my lips, but they land like a crack of thunder.Carl’s expression shifts.Not dramatically, just a slight tilt of the head, the soft narrowing of his eyes.Subtle but sharp as the air seems to thin between us.
His eyes glint, smile slow and curling.“Oh, really?”he says, his tone mild, amused even.“That’s not what you were calling me when I had you spread open on that couch.”My breath locks.“You remember, don’t you?”He steps forward, each footfall a warning.“Your legs were shaking, my fingers were so deep inside you, you could barely fucking breathe.”
I want to move, to run.But my body’s gone tight.Frozen.
“You were soaked, Lila,” he murmurs, his voice darker now, smoother.“Dripping all over my hand while I curled my fingers just right.Moaned into my mouth like I was the only man who’d ever touched you properly.”He smiles again, cruel and mocking.“Don’t act like you don’t remember how you rode my hand,” he adds, eyes narrowing.“How you were grinding down on me like a fucking animal.”
The blood drains from my face.Shame and revulsion flood every inch of me like fire in my veins and I don’t say a word.His smile spreads wider, sick with victory.
“That’s what I thought.You know, Ireallywanted this to be fun,” he says.His voice is different now.Rougher and stripped of charm.“Wanted you to want me, to feel something for me.Even if it was just curiosity.”He takes another step, slower this time.Measuring the space between us like he’s stalking a cornered animal.
He shrugs but it’s not casual.“I was gonna take my time with you,” he murmurs.“Slow and sweet.Make you come more times than you can count.”
My stomach knots and my fingers inch toward the drawer.He sees what I’m doing but doesn't say anything to stop me as he continues.“I wanted to fuck you in every room of this little cabin,” he goes on, eyes dragging over me like they’re peeling something back.“On the counter.On the floor.In the shower.Bent over the goddamn couch with my hand tangled in your hair.I wanted you straddling my lap by the fire while I made you say my name over and over.I was even planning on being gentle the first time,” he adds, smiling faintly.“Make you think you were choosing it.Make you think it was your idea.”
