Page 72 of To Love a Monster
Each thrust is deliciously unforgiving.The slap of skin against skin echoes off the stone walls.He drives so deep I swear I can feel him in my fucking throat.My nails claw at the couch, desperate for something to hold onto.He growls, a sound so feral, so guttural it doesn’t sound human.He grabs my wrist, pins it behind my back, then the other, holding both in one hand while the other snakes up and wraps around the back of my neck hard.
“I want to hear it again,” he snarls.“Tell me who you belong to.”
“You,” I moan.“It’s always been you, Nikolai.”His hand lets go of my wrists for a moment and a hard slap lands on my ass again, sending heat and electricity through my body as he fucks me harder.My body’s trembling, my breath coming in broken gasps.I’m on the edge, dangling between pain and euphoria, between love and obsession.I can feel it building, that explosion he’s forcing out of me with every brutal thrust.
And then he wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me up against him, still buried inside.His other hand grabs my jaw and forces me to look over my shoulder at him.
“Look at me when you come,” he growls.And fuck, when he thrusts again, angled just right, hitting that spot so deep I see stars, I completely shatter.
My scream rips out and my walls clench around him.I fall apart with his name on my tongue and he follows with a growl that sounds like it’s been dragged from his soul.His release is violent, his body shuddering as he pulses inside me.For a long, breathless moment, there’s nothing but the sound of our breathing.Then he pulls out slowly and turns me around in his arms.
He cradles me to his chest, the heat of his skin pressed against mine, our heartbeats wild and tangled.His lips brush my temple and his next words are so soft, so hoarse, I almost miss it.But I hear him.“I love you.”
Time halts and my breath catches.He leans back just enough to look at me, eyes storm-dark and stripped of all his shields.“I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you,” he murmurs, thumb tracing the edge of my jaw.
“You’re obsession, hunger, a need so deep you’ve carved yourself into my fucking bones.And love, you’re the kind of love I never thought I was worthy of.I never believed I’d find someone who wouldn’t just survive the darkest parts of me but love me because of them.You didn’t try to fix me.You didn’t run.You looked at the most fucked up parts of what make up who I am and said, ‘I still want you.’You didn’t just see the monster, Lila, you chose him.And that?That’s more terrifying than any hell I’ve ever faced.”
He swallows hard.“Because I’ve survived every nightmare you can imagine.Wars, betrayals, and torture that would leave most men begging for death.I’ve endured it all with nothing but rage and spite keeping me breathing.But you?I’ll never survive losing you.”
My heart cracks open like it’s been waiting for these words my entire life.Not just I love you.But all of it.The obsession, the need, the unfiltered, dangerous devotion that would terrify anyone else.But not me.I press my hand to his chest and feel the frantic drumbeat of a man who’s only ever known how to survive.
“I love you too,” I whisper, voice shaking with the weight of it.“So fucking much, it scares me.”
His eyes flicker, wild and pained.“You talk about the monster in you like I don’t carry one of my own,” I continue, leaning in until our foreheads touch.“But the truth is ...I don’t want to be saved from you, Nikolai.I never have.I want to drown in you.I want your darkness wrapped around me so tight there’s no room to breathe anywhere else.”
My fingers thread into his hair, tugging him closer and breathing in his scent as I nuzzle into his neck.“Now, promise me,” I breathe.“No matter what happens, no matter what comes next, we will face it together.”
He stills.For one agonizing second, it feels like the world stops turning.Then he pulls me tighter, presses his lips to my forehead, and says in that low, dangerous voice that always makes me feel safe, even when I shouldn’t.“I promise.”
He kisses me slow, like he’s memorizing the shape of my mouth.“I promise to do whatever it takes to protect you, Lila.To keep you safe.To make sure nothing and no one ever touches you again.That’s my oath to you.No matter what I have to do to make it happen, you’ll never come that close to death again.”
I nod, but something cold flutters behind my ribs.His arms are warm, his voice steady.But there’s a weight behind his words and I can’t explain why but it feels like something is slipping through my fingers.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lila
