Page 10 of The Atonement
“I—”
“Kids, I think I have some ice cream in the refrigerator. Would you like some?” Mom asked, interrupting me.
“Nah.” Maisy moved closer to me.
“I’m okay,” Dylan told her.
Riley looked like he might’ve been prepared to take her up on the offer, but after his siblings’ dismissal, he said, “No thanks.”
She stared at them, her lips forming a thin line as she waved the white cloth in her hand to fan herself.
“It’s okay, Mom.” I nodded, understanding what she was doing, though I couldn’t quite understand why.
“Could I talk to you for a second, Ainsley?” Her eyes flicked toward the kitchen. “In there.”
For a moment, I was twelve years old again, being summoned to another room to be scolded out of earshot of our guests. I blinked back to reality. This wasn’t that. I wasn’t in trouble. I couldn’t be in trouble.
I stood from the couch, patting Maisy’s shoulder and offering a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right back.”
My mother led the way toward the kitchen, and I sat down across from her at the island.
“Ice cream?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “Since when do you keep ice cream in the house?”
“I don’t.” Her lips were stiff. “It was left here by a friend.” The way she saidfriendhad my curiosity piqued, but I didn’t press the issue. Maybe my mother was dating someone new after all. “It’s one of those healthy ice creams—no carbs, no sugar, no dairy. I didn’t think it should be thrown out.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Besides, I was just trying to prevent you from making a terrible mistake.”
Cue the dramatics.
“A terrible mistake?”
“You were about to tell the children that Peter has left you, weren’t you?”
It was as if she’d spoken a foreign language. It took several seconds for me to comprehend what she’d said. “Um, what? Why would you assumeheleftme? Why would you assumeanyoneleftanyone?”
“That’s what you told me, isn’t it?”
There was the mother I knew. Right on schedule. She only remembered what she chose to, and it was very rarely accurate.
I scoffed. “No, it isn’t what I told you. I said we’re taking time apart.”
“So, you’re separated?”
I hesitated, but there was no use denying it. “We…aren’t using those terms exactly, but yes.”
My mother fell forward on the counter as if she’dbeen punched in the stomach. “Oh, god!” She dropped the cloth in her hand, covering her mouth. “Oh, god, Ainsley, what have you done?”
“Why do you assume it’s anything I’ve done?”
She shook her head, resting a cheek against the counter. “Do you have any idea what this will be like for you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Divorce, Ainsley! Divorce. That nasty littleDword. I tried to shield you from it as much as possible growing up. I tried to make sure you never saw the worst parts, but still, I couldn’t protect you from everything. You see what the divorce did to me. Here I am, struggling to keep up with the house and all the bills your father left behind. Do you see your father struggling? Well, you won’t. Because divorced men have it easy. They aren’t tainted goods like we are. You mark my words, if you give Peter the chance to find out he has options that don’t involve coming home every night to a nagging wife and chores, he’ll surely take it. Whatever you have to do, whatever you have to say, you make this right.” She wagged her finger at me. “You make this right today. Before Peter has a chance to realize what an opportunity he has in front of him. Because he will. And then…” She sighed, shaking her head with a haunted look in her eyes. “Then it’ll be too late.”
Bitterness filled my chest. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” she challenged, squaring her shoulders to mine. “Take a good long look at my life, honey. Unlessyou want this to be yours, I suggest you start watering the grass at home and making sure your husband is taken care of.”
I stood, indignation filling me. She had no idea what I’d done in order to make my marriage work. She had no idea what I’d sacrificed all in the name of making my husband happy.
