Page 24 of The Atonement
“Oh, save it, Mom—”
“I do. I know. I remember. We did everything we could to prevent this. I did everything I could—”
“Not everything, obviously,” he said with a shrug. “Because here we are. And, what do you know? It hurts all the same.” With that, he strutted toward the door and jerked it open.
“Dylan, wait—”
He turned back around, the door still open. “You know, you say you know what this feels like, but if that’s true…you’d have to be the most selfish person on the planet to do it anyway.”
His words sucked the air from my lungs. I took a step back, bitter tears burning my eyes. I was powerless to stop him from leaving the room, to stop him from leaving me.
Just like I’d been powerless to stop Peter.
A hand on my back caused me to jolt, and I looked over, realizing Riley was standing next to me. His smile was small and sad, and I wanted to bundle him up and take all the pain away from him. From all of them.
“I’m so sorry, bud.” I dropped to my knees and let his head rest on my shoulder, no longer worried about the filthy carpet as I wrapped my arms around him, comforting his silent tears. “I’m so sorry.”
I heard the bed shift under Maisy’s weight and felt her hand in my hair. They were comforting me as much as I was comforting them at that moment. When I lookedup, she rested her head on my opposite shoulder, hugging me back.
“It’s all going to be okay,” I vowed. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but I promise you, it’s all going to be okay.”
Somehow, someway, I’d make sure that was true.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
PETER
Iparked at the end of the cul-de-sac where Adele lived, watching the house for Ainsley and the kids carefully. Every time a curtain moved or a light switched on, my chest filled with hope, only to be let down when I caught a glimpse of my mother-in-law rather than my wife or kids.
As the cul-de-sac grew dark, I began to notice strange looks from neighbors walking their dogs or bringing out their garbage cans. When a porch light at the house I was parked in front of flicked on and a man and woman appeared in the illuminated doorway, staring at me and talking among themselves, I started to worry about what they might do. If they called the cops, how would I explain this?
Sorry, Officer, my wife tried to kill me and took off with my kids, so I’m just trying to track her down. Not to worry. Have a great night.
My fears weren’t justified, though. Itseemed they had no intention of calling the police and were much more the type to handle things themselves when the man—a beefy guy with a thick neck and no shirt to cover the dark hair on his chest—lumbered toward my car. I avoided eye contact, pressing the phone to my ear as if I were talking on it. My heart thudded in my ears as he grew closer.
And closer.
And closer.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
“Can I help you, buddy?” he shouted through the thick pane of glass separating us.
I didn’t dare roll down my window. “Excuse me?” I pulled the phone away from my ear, covering the screen with my hand as if he’d interrupted my imaginary phone conversation.
“Why are you sitting outside my house? You’ve been here all afternoon and evening. You spyin’ on us or somethin’?”
“Spying?” I scoffed. “No. I don’t even know you. I’m waiting for someone.”
“Well, wait for ’em somewhere else, before I call the cops.”
“It’s a public street,” I said, shaking my head, but I started the car anyway.
“Public street down there, too. Get outta here.” He walked away, waving an angry hand over his head and mumbling to himself. The woman was still watching mecautiously, moths buzzing around her head in the porch light.
