Page 25 of The Atonement
I eased the car forward slowly, trying to decide my next move. I wanted to stay and wait for Ainsley to return, but a huge part of me felt like I already knew she wasn’t coming back.
Likely, I’d spooked her by showing up and talking to Adele. If Adele had warned her…
I’d known it was a risk leaving when Adele sent me away, but I didn’t have a choice. Though I was still in the rental car, if Ainsley saw any strange car there, she wouldn’t have come home. If she recognized me, she would’ve driven away, and then I really would’ve lost her.
Now, if I had any hope of her coming back at all, I needed to make her think I was giving up. I needed her to trust that I believed she wasn’t there.
I eyed the grocery sack in the seat beside me.
If she could only see how hard I was trying.
I pulled out of the subdivision and along the street in front of a house that looked empty, digging my phone from my pocket.
I dialed Dylan’s number, listening to it ring four times before going to voicemail. Why did he hate me? What had she done? What sort of poison was Ainsley giving the children about me? What sort of lies would make them ignore their own father’s phone calls?
Whatever they were, I had secrets of my own I could share with them, if that’s how she wanted to play.
I’d thought we were better than that, but with every unanswered call or text, I was beginning to see thatwasn’t the case. I wouldn’t have my children hating me, even if that meant turning them against their mother.
Even if that meant bringing her down in a way I desperately didn’t want to do. Once, Ainsley had fought for us in a way that had changed everything. If it came to it, I would be willing to do the same this time.
I pulled up the banking app on my phone and logged into our account, hoping—but not counting on the fact—that she’d have used the card somewhere that might give me a hint of where she might be. I didn’t assume my wife was foolish enough to put another hotel on our debit card, now that she knew I was looking for her, and I’d put a freeze on our two other credit cards, hoping to narrow down the places I’d have to search. Our main credit card was nearly maxed out from the rental car payments.
Speaking of which, I’d need to make a payment soon, if I could figure out how.
Ainsley had always taken care of that sort of thing.
When the app loaded, I stared at the screen with horror, a chilling sensation in my core.
What the…
It wasn’t possible.
She wouldn’t.
Oh, who was I kidding? There was no use trying to fool myself anymore. No use pretending she wasn’t exactly who she’d shown herself to be.
A selfish monster.
There was nothing my wife wouldn’t do to protect herself. I’d learned that the hard way, but still, I hadn’t seen this coming. She’d taken everything. We were leftwith just a hundred dollars between all four accounts, not even enough to cover the rental car fee, which I’d have to return sooner than I’d planned. And now, she’d disappeared, too.
So, maybe I’d have to take more drastic measures than I’d realized.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
AINSLEY
When I finally found Dylan, he was sitting on one of the plastic lawn chairs around the indoor pool. The humidity of the room struck me as I opened the door, causing sweat to bead on my forehead in seconds. He looked up, as if surprised to see me, then back down, purposefully avoiding eye contact.
I walked toward him slowly, chin tucked, and sat down on the long seat of the lounge chair next to him. The plastic straps groaned under my weight, their once white material now yellowed and dry-rotting.
His arms were folded across his chest, head turned so he couldn’t be tempted to look at me.
“When my dad left,” I said, preparing to tell a story I’d never told anyone in my life, “I blamed myself. I thought there had to be something I could do to fix whatever it was that had gone wrong. I thought because I was part of the family, I had to have had some role in why things fell apart for them.”
“Spare me the pity party. I’m not blaming myself. I’m blaming you.”
“You should.”
