Page 67 of The Atonement
“We aren’t exactly in a good place, Peter. I was still deciding if I wanted to keep it.”
“And you weren’t going to include me in that decision?”
“I’m including you now.”
“Because you’re about to die,” he said, scoffing, using his opposite hand to rub his bandaged wrist. The gauze he’d used to wrap it looked dirty and in need of changing.
“No matter the reason, I’m telling you. I’m pregnant. If you kill me, you’ll have to kill me knowing that.”
When he looked back at me, his eyes glistened with tears. “Another baby?”
I chewed my lip, nodding.
“D-do the kids know?”
“No one knows but me. And now you.”
He bent over, picking up the knife, both hands held up in surrender. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. But…what choice do I have?”
“I’m offering you a choice right now.”
“I’m listening.” He crossed his arms.
“I’ll come home. I’ll bring the kids home. We…we can try again. Start over and fix this. It’s…it’s not going to be easy.” I kept my eyes trained on the knife in his hands as he shifted. “It’s not going to be easy, okay? But when have we ever had things easy? We can do this, right? Because you were right…I do love you. And you love me. It’s why you haven’t killed me, isn’t it? You could’ve done it before I was able to fight back, but you didn’t. You waited.” I paused. “You waited because, as much as we may hate each other sometimes, we love each other more.”
He cocked his head to the side, his eyes darting back and forth between mine as if trying to decide whether or not to trust me. “I want proof that you’re pregnant.”
“Done. But I want something in return.”
“What?”
“I need to know where the bodies are, Peter.”
“Why? So you can turn me in again?”
“No, so I can protect myself. If you have them hidden, you could just as easily frame me.”
The corner of his mouth twitched and my suspectedplan was confirmed. “We can’t make this work unless you tell me where they are.”
He seemed to contemplate it. “Maybe I could tell you whereoneis, but not yet.”
“When?”
“Patience,” he said. “I need to make sure you’re all in. Let’s handle the test first. Then we’ll get the kids home, and thenmaybeI’ll tell you. If you prove your loyalty.”
“No. That’s not fair. The only way this works is if we both lay all our cards on the table. I need to know you’re not going to double-cross me.”
“And what protects me, then?”
“The kids,” I said firmly. “I’ll call and have the kids come home.”
“Today?”
“Today.”
He looked unconvinced, but finally took a step back, still gripping the knife. “Let’s get you cleaned up first. They shouldn’t see you like that. And, Ainsley, if you try anything, I will kill you. I won’t hesitate. Please don’t make me do that.”
He pressed in the two bricks that opened the door from the inside and stepped out of the room, the fresh air as soothing as ice water on a hot day. I sucked it into my lungs as if it might keep me safe for just a moment longer.
