Page 69 of The Atonement
“They haven’t been there long. Glennon and Seth just came home yesterday,” I said. “To watch the kids. Ishould call and tell her we’re on the way. Do you have my phone?”
He dug in his pocket and pulled it out, handing it to me and moving to stand closer. “Don’t…don’t try anything stupid, okay?”
His tone had changed. He almost did sound regretful now.
I turned the phone on, ignoring the voicemails I had from work and Glennon, and opened my texts. “I’ll just send her a message.”
He nodded, watching me closely.
I opened my contacts and tappedG, typing out a quick message:I’m with Peter. We’re coming to pick up the kids today. Want to meet us at the park by my house?
“Why the park?” Peter asked apprehensively, after I’d already pressed send.
“They were supposed to go there today. I don’t want to ruin their plans.”
He didn’t look entirely convinced, but nodded in the direction of my screen. “She’s typing.”
My heart pounded in my chest, praying she’d understand.
See you in an hour.
I closed out of the message and slid my phone in my pocket, but Peter held out his hand. “Give it back to me.”
“Don’t you think the kids will think it’s odd that you’re holding my phone hostage?”
“We’ll talk more once I’ve seen them.” He shut thephone off and shoved it in his pocket. “Let’s go.” He jutted his chin forward and we made our way down the hall, stopping only briefly for me to pull shoes on.
On the way to the park, I stared out the window, going over everything in my head.
“This really will be for the best,” he said, sounding as if he were trying to convince himself as well as me. “For the kids.” He reached his hand across the car, touching my stomach gently. “All of them.” I tensed under his touch, refusing to move, and when he pulled his hand back, he added, “And for us, too.”
I didn’t respond.
“We’re good together, Ains. I know you’re having a hard time seeing it right now, but tensions are just high. It’s a bad time. Couples go through bad times. Maybe we could try counseling again, when you’re feeling up to it. Or…or maybe we could take some time off and travel. Maybe we’ll do date nights again. We owe it to them to try, don’t we? It’s like you said…we own each other’s sins. We know the deepest, darkest parts of each other. No one else will ever know you like I do. And no one will ever know me like you. We’re meant to be together. You have to believe that.” He was almost manic, his tone insistent and erratic. He needed me to believe him. He needed everything to be okay again so he could go back to his life of ruining ours.
I nodded. “You’re right, Peter. You know everything about me, but it’s not exactly fair because you’re still holding this giant secret looming over my head. I’ve done my end of the bargain, but you still haven’t told me wherethe bodies are. Shouldn’t I be helping you hide them? Shouldn’t I be making sure you’ve covered your tracks?”
“No offense, Ains, but I have a little more experience with this than you do. I’ve managed not to get caught yet.”
“Barely,” I mumbled.
“The one time I panicked was when it was Stefan, and that’s because I wasn’t prepared and he was a cop. And because I never wanted you to see me like that. It changed things. But the rest you can trust me with. And you can trust me with the secret. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“You literally just tried to kill me.”
“You gave me no choice!” he shouted, then lowered his voice. “I just want us to be together. I need that.Weneed that.”
“What are you saying? You’re never going to tell me?”
“They’re safe, Ains. They’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
“No, it’s not all that matters,” I shouted across the car at him. “You lied! You lied to me. After everything I’ve done for you.”
“Forme? You meantome? You tried to kill me, Ainsley. You tried to turn me in. You think I don’t know I need a little extra protection? I’m not stupid, okay?”
“So, what? You’re just going to hold it over me forever?Are you going to walk the dog, or do I need to make a call?”
“What? Like you held everything over me, you mean? You ruined everything. Everything was perfect. I hadthese little…sections of my life. Everything stayed in its box. Everything was neat and tidy. And then you came along and you mixed everything up. And you brought all the boxes together until I had a mess. And now I have to clean up the mess that you made. So, yeah, I’m going to hold that over you if I have to. But if you’re on your best behavior, I won’t—”
