Page 22 of The Baby-whisperer and the Brute
Following her prompt, I continued. “Somehow I’ve let her have total control of my life. I’m twenty-three, and I can count on one hand the number of decisions I’ve made for myself. I don’t have a phone because she didn’t want me to have one. I have no friends because she’s never allowed me to go out and socialize. I don’t even pick out my own clothes. I’ve just worn whatever she ordered for me, whatever she said was ‘appropriate.’”
I picked at my outfit, examining it as if seeing the garments for the first time. “I don’t think I evenlikethis stuff. You must think I’m very strange.”
“I don’t. I do think you’re very sheltered,” Cinda said. “And I think perhaps your mom could use some therapy. It’s not healthy to lean on your child so heavily, to make your only child your only friend. Iknowit’s not healthy for the child. You’re remarkably well-adjusted considering all the things you’ve just told me. In fact, I never would have guessed—except for maybe the clothes.”
She smiled in a way that made me feel understood rather than insulted.
Cinda went on. “It sounds to me like you’re well on your way to making up your own mind—even if you haven’t had much practice. I bet you’ll be really good at it once you get going. It’s the first step toward achieving your dreams and having the life youwant.”
“That’s the thing—I don’t evenknowwhat I want,” I said, embarrassed. “I’ve always just known what I was going to do because it was what my mom wanted.”
“Well what do you like, what do you enjoy? What’s your passion?”
“I’m not even sure what that means. I mean, I know what the word ‘passion’ means, but I don’t think I’ve ever been ‘passionate’ about anything.”
“What gets you excited?” Cinda asked. “What gives you butterflies when you think of it?”
A vision of Sullivan Reece’s face popped into my mind, but I was pretty surethatwasn’t what Cinda was talking about.
“I love working with the kids at the school.”
Cinda nodded. “That’s what I see, too. Not all teachers have it, you know? That enthusiasm and obvious joy about working with children. You’re good at it—really good. I’d go so far as to say you have a gift. I think you’d be an incredible teacher and someday, an incredible mom too.”
Therewere the butterflies. Motherhood and Sullivan Reece—those were the only two things I could ever remember triggering them. Both seemed like sheer folly to even consider.
“I don’t think it’s possible,” I told Cinda. “My mother will oppose it with everything she’s got—and she haseverything. I may live in a mansion, but I have no money of my own except for what I earned at the preschool, and it didn’t pay much. I was a part-time assistant. Besides, I’ve already quit my job there, and they’ve hired a replacement. Becoming a real teacher would mean going to college. There’s no way I could afford the tuition—or the room and board. Mother will kick me out of the house and probably disown me if I go against her wishes.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. If you explained to her—”
“I’m not exaggerating in the least,” I assured her. “She’ll absolutely do it. She’s told me as much whenever I’ve dared to question her.”
Cinda sat quietly for a few moments as a servant brought in a tray with a selection of teas and several small plates of cookies. When we’d both thanked the woman and she’d left the room again, Cinda stirred sweetener and cream into her cup of tea.
“You know… I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind if you were to move in here with us for a while until you got on your feet.”
“No,” I blurted. “I mean, thank you but I couldn’t. You’re still newlyweds. You’re about to have two new babies, and you have a full household of staff already, so it’s not like I would even be helping you out by being here. I could never impose on you like that.”
“It wouldn’t be an imposition, and I’m sure it would make AJ’s whole year. In fact, we’d probably have a hard time dragging him away to Aubernesse in September if he knew he was leaving you behind.”
I shook my head vigorously, battling the threat of tears. “You are so sweet. I can’t even believe how nice you’re being to me. But I absolutely cannot do that. I have to find my own way out of this.”
Cinda actually looked disappointed, but then her face brightened. “I think Imighthave a solution for you.”
“What?” I couldn’t fathom any way out of my predicament, but I was eager to hear Cinda’s idea.
“Well, I took AJ to the playground at Harbor Park yesterday, and Sullivan Reece was there with his daughters.”
My breath caught, and my pulse rate sprang.
“He looked horrible, frankly, like he hadn’t slept in a week.” Cinda continued. “He told me it’s been more like two weeks. He’s having a hard time keeping up with the girls, and he’s been having to stay up throughout the night, doing his workouts and training while they’re asleep. They’re running him ragged. He said he’s desperate to hire a nanny but doesn’t know who he can trust to watch his daughters. He’s tried going through an agency, but apparently the people they’ve sent him so far aren’t what he’s looking for.”
I nodded, paying rapt attention and struggling to continue breathing normally.
“I mentioned the possibility of an au pair—you know, girls who come here from another country and live in your home, take care of the kids in exchange for room and board?”
Cinda made a funny face and laughed. “He didn’t like that idea—at all. He said he was concerned they’d be too young and inexperienced to deal with his two rambunctious girls. Besides, he’s single, and he’s afraid the press might have a heyday if they got wind of a teenage girl living in his house.”
There was a pause. “What do you think?”
