Page 25 of The Baby-whisperer and the Brute
“What family?” Mother snarled, her eyes glittering and dark like a snake about to strike.
“One of our neighbors on the street. I met them at the party. They’re new to town—two little girls. Their father works a lot and has to travel a good bit. It would just be for the summer.”
“What about their mother? Why doesn’t she take care of them?”
“I’m not sure. She doesn’t live here.”
“So they’re divorced.” Mother’s tone held anahanote, as if she’d caught me in a lie. “Iknewit. He wants to lure you, to ruin you for the Lord, to spoil your purity.”
I bristled at the way my mother characterized Sullivan Reece as some sort of demonic beast. She’d never even met him. She hadn’t seen the way he loved and worried about his little girls.
“You’re wrong. He’s not like that,” I said, defending him though I didn’t know him well enough to knowwhathis reputation with women was.
“They’realllike that. You don’t know. You’re still innocent. But he’ll change that. Oh, believe me… he’ll ruin you.”
“He doesn’t even know I’m interested in the position. I heard about it through a friend. She says the money is very good.”
“What do you need money for? You’re going to be a holy sister. See? He’s already ruining you by making you crave the material things of the world.”
Mother stood in such a rush her chair fell over backward, striking the thick dining room rug with a loud thud. “I won’t allow it. In fact, pack your things. I’m going to take you to the monastery in New Jersey tomorrow. I’m sure they’ll be fine with you arriving early.”
Now it was my turn to stand abruptly. “Tomorrow? I’m supposed to have another month before I go.”
“What good will an extra month do you? You’re goingnow—no talking back.”
Throughout my life, that phrase would have signaled the end of all conversation. But something had broken free inside me. I couldn’t have stopped now even if I wanted to.
“But it’s my last chance to experience the world before I shut myself away from it.”
“Experience the world? I’lltellyou about the world.”
Mother’s mottled skin tone and deep inhale warned me to prepare for a rant.
“The world tells you to take risks and follow your heart then cheers as you fall in disgrace. The world turns its back on you and kicks you when you’re down. The world makes promises it has no intention of keeping.”
She lifted a bony arm and pointed toward the hallway. “Now go upstairs and pack.”
The fury of injustice made me braver—stronger than I’d ever felt in my mother’s presence before.
“What if I don’t?”
Mother’s hand trembled, as if she was fighting the impulse to slap me. She didn’t, but her words inflicted just as much pain.
“If you don’t, you can just move out—without your things. And I will no longer consider you my daughter.”
I felt like I’d been kicked in the chest. It was hard to gather enough breath to respond. “You’d really throw me out of my own house? You’d disown me?”
“Don’t doubt it little girl. And don’t think you’re going to just hang on until I die and leave you the family fortune. I’ll call my lawyer tonight and have you taken out of the will. Is that what you want? Now go on upstairs and think about it.”
Running up the winding staircase, I went to my tower room and flopped into the chair in front of the window. I stared out at the dark night sky, listening to the toss and roll of the ocean, filled with disbelief and a growing sense of despair.
Now that the timeline had shrunk and my future was immediately at hand, my doubts about dedicating my life to religious service were even more pronounced.
The sisters had said I should feel peace as I entered the postulant phase. All I felt at the moment was anger and betrayal and an increasing suspicion that Mother had planned my entire life not to protect me but rather in an attempt to soothe her own conscience over her wild youth and reckless life decisions.
Ihatedfeeling like a pawn in someone else’s game. But did I have the guts to wipe the board clean and start over?
Cinda had been kind—she might even become a good friend. But she had her own life and family. I couldn’t hang everything on her advice and offer of help.
