Page 63 of The Baby-whisperer and the Brute
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around it. “If I’d known, I would have done a better job of it or something.”
Angelina, who seemed to have settled a bit now that I understood, gave me a shy smile. “I don’t know how it could have been any better.”
And just like that, all the hard-charging energy was back, filling me with the desire to reach out and pull her into my arms again. But I didn’t.
“I’m glad you liked it, but just wait. I promise you… it gets better than that.” At the bashful turn of her head, I added, “I’m glad I was your first kiss, Angel.”
“Glad” was such an inadequate word. “Ecstatic” would have been a better choice.
For a moment her eyes lingered on mine, then her gaze dropped to my lips before landing on the floor.
“It can’t happen again.”
Chapter Nineteen
Kind of Simple
Angelina
Sully did a literal double take before his gaze locked onto mine, searing into me like a blue laser.
“You must be joking.” He gestured with his hands, the way he did when he was worked up over something. “You can’t possibly think things can just go back to normal afterthat. I mean, I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.”
Neither had I, obviously. And I was pretty sure it wasn’t agoodthing I felt it now.
Before we’d kissed—and done all the rest—it was still possible to lie to myself, to tell myself everything was okay, it was normal, that I could handle the situation.
Which was that this arrangement was temporary.
In a few weeks, it would end. The girls would go back to their mother in New York, Sully would leave for his title fight. I would either move into the monastery to begin my postulancy or I’d find another job and another way of life.
Two months ago, it had seemed like a good plan, a way to give myself time to decide what I really wanted in life.
But I’d changed since then. I was turning into a person I almost didn’t recognize.
And if I let Sully kiss me again, if I let things keep moving down the path they were on, I’dhaveno more choice in the matter.
I would want to stay with him forever. I’d never be able to leave when the time came.
Already I felt a physical pain in my stomach when I thought about living apart from him. I could not—couldnot—allow myself to fall in love with him. Which meant no more kissing anddefinitelyno more of the other stuff we’d done tonight.
“I’m not joking, Sully. It can’t happen again.”
“Why?” His tone was ragged, tinged with desperation. “This isright. Don’t youfeelit? I could swear you felt it too.”
He started moving toward me again, his hands outstretched as if prepared to pull me against him so he could kiss me again and prove his point.
I couldn’t back away any farther without crawling across the kitchen table, so I held out my hand, palm-up like a stop sign.
“No. Don’t come any closer. I don’t…” My throat tried to close up to prevent the lie from escaping. “I don’t want you to touch me again. I mean, Ido, but I don’t.”
My chest tightened. I pushed my hair behind my ears, swallowing repeatedly. “It’s confusing. I’m confused, and I don’t like feeling this way.”
Sully looked like it was killing him, but he did stop. He gave me a nod of understanding and pushed his hands into his pockets. His tone was soothing, like one I’d use with one of the girls when she was upset.
“It doesn’t have to be confusing. I mean, it’s kind of simple really. I like you—like, really, really like you. I think you like me, too.”
“I do.” I almost laughed at the ridiculous understatement. “But it’s not simple. You’re my boss, and this is only temporary, and in a few weeks it’ll be over. And I can’t be casual about this.”
