Page 52 of No More Bad Boys
“Idoget asked out—not all the time. But usually I decide it doesn’t make—”
“Sense,” he finishes for me. “What’s with you and everything having to make sense? Some of the greatest songs in musical history have lyrics that make no sense whatsoever. Abstract art makes no sense, but it can be beautiful. Some of the best things in life don’t make sense. Love is one of those things.”
“Well, I’ve never been in love. I thought I might have been for a little while once but…”
I’m not sure I want to gothisfar with the honesty. Can I really tell him about Tyler? It’s so humiliating.
He leans in toward me, his expression soft and encouraging. “What happened?”
I sit quietly for a minute, looking at my plate. Then I decide to go for it. I mean, I’m the one who hates lies and evasiveness, so I’m a hypocrite if I don’t tell him the truth when he’s directly asking me.
“Well, okay. It’s really embarrassing. You’re going to think I’m so stupid.”
“I promise I won’t.”
“You haven’t even heard the story yet, so you can’t say that. So anyway—his name was Tyler. He was a senior when I was a freshman—he was in my sister Kenley’s class. And, well,allthe guys liked Kenley, because that’s the kind of girl she is—you’ll see when you meet her—she’s just ridiculously beautiful. But Tyler… he likedme. He thoughtIwas pretty, paid attention to me, asked me out, took me to prom. He was my… my first, you know?”
Mortified, I look down at my plate, pushing my food around with my fork instead of eating it.
“I probably should have figured it out—I mean it made no sense. Why would a senior want to date a little freshman girl with no curves and no style at all? I didn’t even start to fill out until late in my sophomore year.”
The embarrassment is severe now. I shrug. “I don’t know—maybe it was because I was so young, and he was so good-looking and a football player and all that stuff—I believed him when he said I was special. Iwantedto be special tosomeone. And then… after we… you know, slept together, I told him I loved him.”
Blake studies me, his eyes alive with interest. “What didhesay?”
I gulp, trying to ease the painful knot that’s accumulated in the back of my throat.
“He cried.”
“Cried?”
I nod. “He said he felt bad because he hadn’t been honest with me. He admitted he was in love with Kenley and had wanted to get her attention, make her jealous—that he’d wanted her for years, and he was sorry he’d taken advantage of me, but that I looked so much like her. He said he hadn’t meant for it to go so far, but he’d gotten excited while we were making out and hadn’t been thinking straight. Heapologizedfor having sex with me.”
A shudder goes through me as I paste on a fake smile. “Not exactly what a girl’s hoping to hear after her first time.”
Blake’s hand comes across the table to grasp mine tightly.
“So—that’s it. My sad, pitiful tale. I’ve been pretty careful since then not to date anyone when I can clearly see they don’t make sense for me. And I’ve definitely avoided anyone who even looks twice at my sister—which ruled out most guys we went to high school with.”
Blake nods, his lips rolling in and then out as he stares at our joined hands.
“I’m sorry that happened to you. And you’renotsecond-best. You’re much more beautiful than your sister.”
“How would you know? Wait till you meet her,” I tease, joking but not really.
Really, I’m still a little afraid to see his reaction when he eventually meets her.
He pauses. “Well, no matterwhatshe looks like, there’s no way in the world she could surpass you. You are literally the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Everything about you is beautiful—your fingers…”
He strokes his thumb over them as he speaks. “Your skin.”
His fingertips run lightly over the inside of my arm, raising chill bumps over my whole body.
“Your eyebrows when they’re raised up into your hairline as you look at me like I’m crazy,” he continues. “Your lips, your sky-blue eyes, even your toes are beautiful—I noticed the other night at the grocery store when you wore sandals.”
I can barely find the oxygen to respond. “Thank you. I… like the way you look, too.”
Okay, that was totally an odd way of saying it, but I’ve never been accused of being smooth with the lines.
