Page 168 of Faking the Pass
He immediately grabbed my spoon and began digging into the homemade banana pudding in front of me. I hadn’t gotten the chance to start eating it yet.
Jess fussed at him. “Theo, no. That’s not yours. That’s Uncle Merc’s.”
“It’s okay,” I told her. “The boy knows what he wants, and he’s going for it. He’s kinda my hero honestly. I was trying to figure out a wayIcould eat everyone else’s desserts. He just beat me to it.”
When I laughed along with the rest of my family, Theo turned his head to look at me, the loaded spoon half-in half-out of his mouth.
A gooey lump of pudding landed on my shirt with a squelch.
“Ohhhh noooo,” Theo said dramatically.
Jessica was out of her chair and on her way to my side of the table. “That’s it, mister. You come sit with Mommy.”
“Sorry, Uncle Merc,” she added. “Send us the dry cleaning bill.”
“Hang around much longer, and you’ll need to start a tab,” Wilder advised. “My son’s an enthusiastic eater—not a neat one.”
“Like father, like son,” Dylan said and pointed to Wilder’s chest.
When our oldest brother dipped his head to look for a food stain, Dylan snagged his pudding bowl and pulled it toward himself.
“Made ya look,” he said and cackled before digging into Wilder’s dessert.
Jessica reached for Theo, intending to take him, but he squirmed and shook his head, kicking his short legs.
“Nooooooo. Unk Merc.”
“It’s fine. Let him sit with me,” I urged her. “We’ve got a lot of guy stuff to talk about. And I don’t get the chance to spoil babies that often… but hopefully I will soon.”
Jessica’s eyes went wide at my cryptic words, and I grinned. It felt like the right time to tell everyone.
With my free hand, I tapped my butter knife against my water glass.
“I have an announcement.”
“Oh my God, are you having a baby?” Jess gasped.
“You knocked somebody up?” Dylan asked, jumping to the same conclusion.
“It was bound to happen,” Pres said.
My jaw dropped, and I looked around. “If you assholes will stop lobbing false accusations for a minute, I’ll tell you what’sactuallygoing on.”
There was laughter all around.
“So you know I put in for free agency.”
Several heads nodded. My brothers all leaned forward.
“I got a call this morning from…”
I deliberately paused just to torture them.
“Are you waiting for a fucking drumroll?” Presley asked.
Dylan started drumming the tabletop with his knife and fork.
Smiling widely, I finally finished the sentence. “... The Superbowl champion New England Nauticals. I said yes.”
